How Old Would You Be If You Didn’t Know How Old You Are?
I believe it was Satchel Paige that asked the question that is my article headline.
You may have heard of (or remember) Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, American Negro League pitcher who is notable for his longevity in the game. He became a Hall of Famer, died in 1982 at age 76, and was known for his quotes in addition to his baseball prowess.
Like this one:
“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
I like both quotes. At 78, I think you can understand why I like them.
Last week, I talked about starting a revolution to stamp out ageism. With a bit of a twist, I continue the quest.
This week, I sucked down a large dose of Steve Chandler, life and business coach extraordinaire and one of my favorite authors. I had loaned one of my favorite Chandler books to my son some time ago and it found its way (miraculously) back to my house recently. Read? Unread? He’s not saying – doesn’t matter. What matters is that I had a chance to dive back into it and complete my fifth reading (not a typo) of it since 2016.
The book is entitled “The Story of You.- And How to Create a New One.” One of his most popular books. And, for me, a real gut-punch of reality about life and what we make it.
It’s classic Chandler. As in:
Get over yourself!!
The whole book is about how our lives are nothing more than made-up-stories with us as the authors.
In Chapter 8, “The Story of Growing Old”, Chandler says bluntly:
“Our age and attitude toward it is simply a made up story – influenced by listening to the stories told around us. You can’t be old unless you have a story about how old you are.”
Weill makes the point:
“Why are old wines and whiskeys valued much more than young ones? Why are we moved in the presence of old trees? When you age cheese, it improves the cheese. Antiques are valuable because they are so old. Older violins are the most treasured.”
“This negative aging story soon becomes convincing. It even entrances the old people themselves! Some older people, when they retire, start walking differently. They hobble and shuffle along. They speak differently, too, as if in a play with new parts to play. They stop exercising because their story is that they’re old now. Their voices get high-pitched, thin, reedy, and weak. How much of that is the physical decline, and how much of it is living into the pre-scripted story.”
There are legions of those who have rejected this pre-scripted story.
Warren Buffet hasn’t slowed much at age 89 – he still reads 5 hours a day in his office.
William Shatner, also 89, still travels, performs, creates as if his hair was on fire.
Norman MacLean rejected the idea of retirement and, at age 73, wrote his highly acclaimed masterpiece “A River Runs Through It.”
John Housman won an academy award for his performance in The Paper Chase but hadn’t started acting until he was 70.
Chandler had convinced himself for years that he was too old to write books until he changed the story he was telling himself at age 50 and has since turned out over 30 books. His new story? He would keep writing until his dying day. And he was making it up as he went.
It’s like deja-vu all over again, for me. My reinvention to write for the rest of my life is my changed story and I, too, am truly building this airplane in flight. And can’t wait to get up each morning and add one more little part.
Part of that new story is that I started posting responses on Quora.com about 15 months ago answering questions in my sweet spot of health and wellness, aging, longevity, career transition, etc.
On a whim, my first post was an answer to the crazy question: “What is the cause of the common odor many senior citizens have (despite good hygiene)? I know something about it because I had researched it for a book that I have written that remains in what is beginning to look like terminal draft stage.
You can read the Quora post here. If you do click on it, you will see, as of today, it has garnered 306,000 views and over 1,500 upvotes.
Whaa? About why old people smell? Really?
Since that article, I’ve posted around 350 articles with 1.8 million views, nearly 10,000 upvotes, and earned Top 10 writer in a couple of categories. All of which, together with $2, will buy me a cup of Starbuck’s horrid coffee.
Why do it? Because I changed my story. I want to write. I feel I have a voice and a message and it’s a chance to maybe touch somebody, somewhere.
I get a lot of feedback on those posts, nearly all positive. There is one comment, however, that remains permanently ensconced in my brain because, well, the truth hurts. One gentleman didn’t line up with one of my arguments about something and simply just referred to me as an insufferable p***k.
I relayed that incident to my roommate of 49 1/2 years who responded with a “YES” and a fist pump.
I’ve kept a log of most of the comments (38 pages of them, in fact) because many of them have stories that I find educational and help guide me with my content. I want to share one with you:
6/9/2020
“Thank you Gary. I am female, 52 and have ‘missed the boat’ on a fulfilling, promising career. I did manage a bachelor’s degree after high school but then dropped the ball and simply took various jobs just to keep money coming in and survive. A very big mistake of which I have only myself to blame. (However, I did conceive a beautiful child and had many happy years as a stay-at-home Mom.)
So now I sit with the pain of missed opportunity and a feeling of loss at never having made more of myself. I have been toying with the idea of additional schooling to complete a teaching certificate. It would take me 16 months to do so and I would finish at the later side of 53, but after reading your post I think maybe I am not so crazy for considering it? Possibly someone would benefit from this older gal becoming a teacher?”
That’s why I write, why my story changed. Maybe A. Harrington will move from “victim” to “owner.” Maybe she will pull off a story change from the story she’s been telling herself (missing the boat) and move from toying to doing and touch many young people’s lives.
There are many like it in my comment log. People needing, wanting a story change. Each an affirmation that we are all made up stories, telling ourselves what we think others want us to be.
We are truly masters of lying to ourselves. And we’ve had a lot of help.
So, am I really 78?
Or can I be 45? Or 92? Some would L-O-L at the 45. Most wouldn’t care. This morning, as I write, it feels like 45. My lower back says 92. But 45 wins.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.
What’s yours?
Got a thought or comment about all this? Share it below or with an email to gary@makeagingwork.com. If you aren’t on our mailing list for each week’s free article, you can join in a heartbeat at www.makeagingwork.com. Stay safe, be sensible.
Thanks to great genetics given to me from my birth parents whom I’ve never met, Gary, and a decently healthy lifestyle, I often tell others I’m 74 going on 55. I certainly never thought I’d be as vital at this age as I am, I never imagined I’d still be working (as a solopreneur), and I NEVER thought life would be so excellent! Most of my friends are at least 10 years younger than I am, if only because they share my love of living with purpose, with energy, with vitality. Keep singing your song, Gary! It’s definitely music to my ears!
Gary,
Great article today. Spot on.
When I joined IBM 42 years ago, they taught me to count in hexadecimal (base 16). So having reached 65 for us prosaic decimal counters, my age in hex is 41.
41 works for me–it’s my story and I’m sticking to it. And I’m taking care of my personal “41 year old” system, including running again after a total knee replacement last year. I have been told that I should not run any more–actually this is the third time in my life that I’ve been told that. I don’ take “no” well–back up to 4 mile runs, and will do a half marathon later this year.
It’s my story.
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