Living a Regret Free Life

I recently came across this post by my friend Susan Williams of BoomingEncore. As we emerge from this scourge, I felt its message was appropriate as we adjust to the new reality of a changing world. Be sure to check out the TedX YouTube at the end – a powerful 10-minute message.

Enjoy!


BY SUSAN WILLIAMS

Over the last year or so I have talked with many people who shared with me that how they currently were living was not what they really wanted to do.

Whether it was pursuing a different profession that would allow them to be more creative or wanting to help other people more or even a desire to feel that they were making a bigger difference in the world – they all had one thing in common.

They were talking about doing something different but were not actually taking steps towards doing anything about it.

It made me wonder – what stops us from pursuing what we say we really want to do?  

Here are just some of the things that I think stops us;

1. Fear

Fear of failure, fear of what other people would think, fear of changing relationships, fear of not having enough time are just some examples of the fear that can stop someone from making a significant change.

2. Financial

In some cases – especially changing careers – I think that facing a potential financial impact may sometimes be even a bigger challenge than facing fear.

As we get older to think about changing from a comfortable lifestyle to possibly something less secure can be a real challenge.  It may not only affect you – in many cases, it can affect an entire family.

3.  Easier Just to Talk About It

Let’s be honest.  It’s easier to just talk about what we would like to do in our lives rather than actually doing anything about it.

If we think about all the people who talk about losing weight, getting more exercise, seeing friends more often – but don’t – this is the same type of thing.  It takes time, work, dedication, and commitment to actually pursue something new.

4.  Support

To make a significant change can often require support – family, friends, colleagues – especially if your decision could impact others.

So why bother?  If we have to get over some of these hurdles is any significant change really worth it?

As I thought about this question, I was reminded of a TED video I watched a while back presented by Kathleen Taylor, a mental health counselor who worked with people in their final days of life.

In her presentation, Kathleen shared what was discovered as the number one regret at the end of a person’s life.  She shared the following thought that was voiced by many in their final days;

“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life that others expected of me.”

Based on this thought I think the answer to make a change or not make a change is truly a very personal decision.

The “follow your passion” or “pursue your dreams” advice looks great on Facebook and Twitter images but any significant change is a very personal decision with many different facets to consider.

I think the really big question is to ask ourselves how we think we will feel at the end of our lives – will the choices and decisions that we have made allow us the opportunity to live the life we really wanted to live? 

I think if we can answer this question honestly and have made decisions based on this question then the choices as to whether we decide to undertake a significant change becomes easier.

Our lives will then be something to look back on with both joy and satisfaction – and without any regrets.

Here is the TED Talk given by Kathleen Turner – Rethinking the Bucket List;


This article originally appeared on Booming Encore and was reprinted with permission.

Susan Williams is the Founder of Booming Encore , a site that has grown to become a globally recognized social media influencer and expert for baby boomers on retirement and aging and is ranked as one of the top baby boomer blogs worldwide. As a baby boomer herself, Susan was interested in doing something that really made a difference and has dedicated herself to overcoming the limited dedicated resources and information to support this unique time of life for baby boomers. Booming Encore also partners with some amazing contributors who generously share their experience and expertise.

3 replies
  1. Murray Covert says:

    Our lives have probably been different from some. My wife grew up in a very rural, hard scrabble farm, with nearest neighbours miles away. I grew up in a close community where everybody was a neighbour first, with always someone stopping by, and everyone helping any one in hardship of any kind.We met in a new Regional school in Grade 7 in 1951, Married in 59, and have been close since. We both had an upbringing that taught how to do things, for survival or helping some one. Independence was the norm, but using what you learned was part of the fun. We both have been leaders in the community, at work, our Province, and later, on a low key, Nationally . We took our 5 children on Cross country trips, camping in major parks and wilderness but instilling them in the ways of the world, and the opportunities therein. we took part in sports , square dancing,fundraising for the community, other groups, then the County Wildlife Association, the provincial federation and the Canadian Wildlife Federation.(as delegates,) Then later as Secretary, and President for the local, county and provincial Senior’s Federation, and delegates to the National as well.we had other interests and hobbies too. I was in the Reserve Army for 38 years, all ranks and positions from Pte. to Major, and DCO of the unit, and 4 years as OIC of a small Training Camp along with my Day job.My wife was an Executive Secretary for a regional hospital, and manager of the credit Union based there. We did upholstering in our spare time, and after the kids were grown, continued some longer trips and a couple of cruises. Things have slowed down, and with the lock-downs, are relaxing with good memories, interesting books, and just watching the world go by.

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