Growing old or getting old? They’re two different things and you have a choice.
We are all going to grow old – that is inevitable and immutable.
Life is a fatal disease. Once contracted, there is no known cure.
Time marches on.
Getting old, on the other hand, is optional.
That’s between the temples. How we grow old is largely up to us and starts with attitude.
I’ll bet you know a 50-year-old that’s going on 80. And an 80-year-old going on 50.
The difference?
Sorry, you’re wrong if you said genetics. Genetics may determine 20–30% of our longevity at most. Attitude can affect longevity and determines 100% of how we view aging.
Recent research has revealed that people who have a positive attitude about aging live an average of 7 years longer than those who don’t.
We westerners have a fixation on numbers, especially in the U.S. where we seem unwilling/unable to release the number 65 from our thinking as a turning point to the downside slope of our lives.
We couple that with the non-sensical concept of retirement and accelerate the growing old and then die short of our biology’s true longevity potential.
We know there is no biological reason that any of us shouldn’t live to 100 or beyond. But we continue to pull up severely short of that benchmark.
In my experience, the mere mention of living that long amongst my age cohort (80) invites plenty of scorn and invective. Most are repulsed by the idea, failing to acknowledge that we’re designed to last at least that long. We should if we viewed our later years differently and dispensed with the cultural influences that help us accelerate the decline that most people experience in the second half of life.
My 80-year-old body, while in much better shape than even most 60-year-olds, still confirms that the immutable is moving forward. I am growing old and will, just like you, eventually die.
But I’m choosing not to get old despite the external evidence that it is happening, albeit at a slower accelerating pace than for most of my cohort.
I’m striving to give my body and mind what they need to come as close as possible to the 122-year benchmark for longevity set for us by a lady in Paris, France in 1997.
I don’t expect to get there because there is likely too much early life (pre-40) damage done to overcome to make that happen. But, I expect to come closer than most by setting a 100+ year goal than if I just chose to accept average.
I’m already ahead since I just turned 80 and the average lifespan for an American male is around 75 (and declining).
Two things that will help me get closer to that benchmark:
- Gratitude: as crazy as it sounds, I’m grateful that I will die because it means I lived when many are never given the chance. I have the gift of life.
- I stopped time-traveling into the past and the future and accept that I only have today. One of my antidotes to growing old is to attitudinally live in the present moment and avoid the worry, regrets, and fears that lie in the past and future.
I have no illusions about the fact that it could all be over tomorrow.
Right now, I have this moment.
And you and I are 100% aligned on this topic, Gary! I am 76, and I tell everyone 76 going on 50.
I still walk four miles a day (weather permitting) with my two small dogs. Up and down the hills of my condo village on the bay.
I still work and have NO plans to stop as long as I can keep up with the technology, as long as my brain and body allow me to think, plan, help others. I love learning from my clients; they’re just so smart in ways I never considered, never learned about until now, never even imagined.
Many of my friends are far younger than we are, largely (for me, anyway) because they’re still full of life. Still working. Still interesting!
So we’ll see how long we last, and let’s always make any day we got up on top of the dirt a wonderful one!
Thank you Gary for this. Getting older is evitable yet, like you I have seen many people resign themselves to “retiring” because they have completed their 30 years. I have seen people just wait for death. Gratitude is key. Purpose is fulfilling. I think as long as you those two in mind day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute you will live a fulfilling life no matter when you die.
John, thanks for the reminder of the magic combination – gratitude and purpose. Unbeatable combination.
It’s simple.
Life will kill me but it will not defeat me.
I am nearly 80.
Have had heart surgery and a stroke ….so….. I am here and enjoying what I have.
I don’t have the energy or the clear head I used to have but I still set out my objectives every day.
These are not just the things I have to do to survive but more important the things I need to do to stay motivated.
I still like girls. Enjoy their company.
Like horse racing and betting.
Dabble in the stock market.
Play with grandkids and travel.
I don’t sit at home and feel sorry for myself.
I am grateful every day that I wake up and make the most of it
Jon, I’m impressed with your attitude. Motivation is an inside job – you’re proving it. Best wishes for continued success on this journey.
I get high reading Gary. Yeah growing old and with that comes increased sense of purpose and the value I can offer to others as a career educator. 200 education and training jobs later I made job-jumping an art form I could teach a class on job-jumping I make a frog look like an amateur. I made and blew a million dollars without regret I am wealthy with life experiences living everyday with gratitude. Here I am now living 100% full-on with no commitments middle aged charging into the the 3rd and 4th half of life. I am excited to launch my new online education service to people wanting to learn English I mean I would rather have several successful online ventures over counting the days to a social security pension check.
Hey, Phil. Love the attitude. Congrats on the new online service. Hope it goes well. Keep me posted.
Gary, I love your thoughts on living in the present and not wallowing in the past or looking toward the future. I’m really trying to do this as well. Too many people don’t appreciate what they have right now. Really enjoy your work!!!
Thank you, Heather. There’s plenty of good in the past to wallow in but that’s not what we tend to do – we tend to gravitate to the bad stuff. So why make the journey. And, heavens knows, there are lots of things trying to cloud our future. I hope you are able to stay in the present moment more – I’m getting better but still let “the resistance” sneak in. Best wishes.