An Older?  Or An Elder?  A Question Every Boomer Retiree Needs to Confront.

Photo by Bruce Mars, Pexels

“Those who continue to grow as they grow older can develop long-term vision, whereas most become blinded by near-term needs and common neediness. Growing older happens to everyone. But growing wiser happens to those who awaken to a greater sense of meaning and purpose in life.

Without this added dimension, society produces ‘olders,’ who blindly hold onto life at any cost, rather than seasoned ‘elders,’ who help others find meaningful ways to live.”

That deeply convicting statement was made by the 74-year old author, storyteller, and mythologist Michael Meade in an interview conducted and published in a February Medium.com post by Dr. Connie Zweig, psychotherapist and best-selling author  Read it here.

Further in her article, Dr. Zweig suggests that those with visions of becoming an Elder do so because “—a ‘vision’ was calling them, rather than a ‘should’ pushing them.”

Leave it to me to stir up the pot and inject retirement into this esoteric, thought-provoking conversation. 

I can’t help it.

In the first sentence of Meade’s statement, he sums up what seems to happen in a typical traditional labor-to-leisure retirement (blinded by near-term needs and common neediness) and what doesn’t happen (growth, long-term vision).

The word retirement is derived from the French verb “retirer” which means to withdraw.   Growth is high on the list of things that many retirees withdraw from upon retirement. Well-meaning financial advisors operate more from pushing “shoulds.” They generally advocate for a no-growth, leisure environment and withdrawal from challenges rather than helping underwrite a “calling or vision.”

This reinforces a deeply entrenched retiree mindset that says: “Been there, done that – I’m tired of growing, learning, solving.  Time for time off.”   The backbone for continued healthy growth gets stripped out.

Without a growth component, a long-term vision – if it even existed – succumbs to no-growth habit patterns and eventually morphs into survival i.e. near-term needs and common neediness.

And becoming an “older.”

We’ll find the “live short, die long” track crowded with “olders” where physical and mental deterioration starts early after retirement, is unnecessarily accelerated through inactivity, and then protracted in its misery by the wonders of modern medical technology.  It’s where any kind of a vision or dream will give way to fighting a daily battle against lethargy, lack of purpose, and creeping frailty.

It’s the mindset and path behind the growing depression, suicide and divorce rates amongst retirees, and a contributor to our century-long longevity growth rate now starting to recede.

It’s a one-letter difference

The difference is a one letter change.

We likely will find Elders to be:

• Enthusiastic, not lethargic
• Energized, not bored
• Emerging, not abandoning
• Expanding, not diminishing
• Expectant, not skeptical or cynical
• Experimenting, not abstaining
• Exploring, not ignoring
• Enjoying, not tolerating
• Engaged, not isolated
• Educating, not withholding

But perhaps the biggest “E” of all:

Extending

Extending themselves into their communities, into the lives of others, especially the generations to come.  Extending their talents and accumulated wisdom and skills in a “pay-back” and “pay-it-forward” manner.

An Elder will be selfless, giving, producing; an Older will be selfish, greedy, consuming.

An Elder will live in the present unencumbered by fear and regrets.  An Older will time travel into the regrets of the past and the fear of the future.

I wonder how much better this country – this globe – would be if we convinced more people to make that one-letter change.

What are your thoughts?  Leave us a comment below.