Open Letter to Someone Who Needs to Be Rich to Avoid Suffering.
Image by Siggy Nowak from Pixabay
Someone, somewhere, popped this question recently on Quora.com. I had to respond.
How can I be rich? Am I suffering too much?
The difference?
Extrinsic = external, materialistic, possession-based riches such as money, houses, cars, clothes, etc.
Intrinsic = internal riches are unbound to possessions and include self-image, self-satisfaction, feeling valued and needed, knowing and using your core talents and strengths selflessly.
Extrinsic riches fade.
Intrinsic riches endure.
If you are suffering, perhaps how you feel about yourself is too bound to the cultural influence and imagery that surrounds and pushes us onto a hedonic treadmill to try to keep up, to cast an image of outward success, to compare favorably.
That’s a trail full of potholes that typically ends in more suffering.
Teddy Roosevelt said it best:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
We were not put on this planet to accumulate. We were put here to serve. Our capitalistic society is built on continuous accumulation, and our culture pushes comfort, convenience, and comparison. It’s a perfect storm, and the end game can be unnecessary suffering.
You’ll find true riches in:
- Relationships
- Understanding and being true to yourself
- Swimming against the destructive culture of accumulation and extrinsic pleasures
- Taking your innate talents and strengths and using them to help make the world a better place.
- Avoiding time travel into the past and the future, seizing each day, and staying in the moment.
- Doing something that will succeed you.
There will always be suffering in our lives. It’s part of what moves us forward.
You’ll find your riches in the gifts within you.
Use them to drive positive change based on intrinsic values.
You gave him the right advice Gary. As an educator I happen to fall on the intrinsic side I am helping others improve their lives through my knowledge and talents that gives me greater satisfaction than owning a material position. The pictures of my grads and where my former students have gone forward in their lives is tremendous satisfaction. They will carry on my legacy and someday they could say oh yeah I had a teacher by the name of Mr Peraza. I don’t need all the trappings of material success I am successful in my own way. I can’t worry anymore about being rich but I can focus on being comfortable if that means a hammock and a place by the beach.
Nobody remembers you for the car your drove, the house you owned, the vacations you took. They remember how you touched them. You’ve been on a great track for a long time, Phil. I appreciate your work and your openness in sharing it with us.