How Would You Answer the Question: “What Does It Feel Like To Get Old?”

 

Someone asked me online recently how I felt about getting old. While I was tempted to launch into another of my characteristic snarky-style responses, I exercised uncharacteristic self-control and provided the following:

At 78, I guess I qualify for the “old” category.

Occasionally, there are days when I wish it weren’t so but I settled into being “the oldest in the room in most situations” some time ago.

I actually kind of relish it these days – to try to emulate what “old” doesn’t have to be i.e. the grumpy, immobile, smelly ol’ fart most people think of when they think of someone my age. Like this:

I strive to be the opposite – because I can.

Make getting old a game!

As I reflect on it, I realize I’ve turned it into sort of a “game” – a rather high-stakes game in some regards.

I know that I am going to “get” old. But that doesn’t mean that I have to “grow” old. I’ve learned that I have considerable control over the pace and the way that I age.

In my 50s, I began to realize that I was often being acknowledged as “younger than my age” because of my physical appearance and the types of activities that I was involved in. The appearance was assisted with a bit of genetics (full head of brown hair, even today) and a slender build but it was mostly about what I was doing to maintain that appearance.

When I came to my senses at age 37 and quit smoking (an 18 year trip of insanity), I became a “gym rat” and active exerciser, starting off doing long-distance running. In 1987, at age 45, I joined a new athletic club and got back into one of my favorite activities – basketball. But I also began to get active in the club’s weight room, doing aggressive free weight work in addition to the basketball.

I played basketball 5–6 days a week until age 63 when my left knee (and my ortho doc) said no more. For years, I was always the oldest player on the court.

Since I’m now not supposed to run or jump and should not have both feet off the ground at the same time, I’m relegated to an elliptical, treadmill, and upright bike.

Boring? Big time!!

My strength-training continues. Boring also.

That’s why I make it a game. Because I realize the stakes if I choose not to play the game.

For decades now, I have held to an exercise regimen of six days of 45–60 minutes of aerobic each week and 3 days of 30–40 minutes of strength-training, still mostly free-weights.

It’s built into my lifestyle and the driver is the realization that not much else matters if I don’t feel well.

The other parts of the “game” are a largely plant-based diet and being a constant learner.

Are beans, carrots, and almonds boring? Yes – but then so is six months recovering from a triple bypass.

I try to learn something new every day and have read over 700 books over the last 15 years.

I have no illusions about the possibility that something can come along and take me out in a heartbeat. But I’m learning that carrying regrets from the past and fears of the future are horrible use of the imagination and I’m getting better every day at “seizing the day” and living in the moment. Because it’s all I’ve got. I think that attitude is affecting how I age.

It sounds nutty, but I’ve set the mental goal of living to 112 1/2. I set that at age 75 because I wanted to have 1/3 of my life left to make up for what I didn’t get done in the first 2/3.

Candidly, that will happen when you can buy snowcones in hell.

But I feel that setting the target will allow me to come a lot closer to the century mark than if I simply accept that I will live to the average American lifespan – which is 78.9 for men which means that I will be out of here around Christmas.

All this is to say that, with regard to age, I choose to be a total outlier. I ache mentally when I see people I know that are my age or younger that are stooped, arthritic, in pain, suffering from chronic debilitating diseases as a result of previous and ongoing bad lifestyle decisions.

With regard to aging, I subscribe to Gandhi’s famous saying (paraphrased): “Be the change you want to see in others.”

I’ve learned that I can’t talk people into doing what is right for their health or successful aging. They are going to do what they are going to do – and as a culture, we face tremendous challenges in preserving and extending our good health and longevity. A broken “cure-based” healthcare system, food industry that doesn’t give a rip about our health, and a general cultural attitude oriented toward seeking comfort and instant gratification all take way too many of us to premature aging, extended morbidity, and early frailty.

I just choose to not be part of it – and hopefully, change a lifestyle or two with my example.

Here are a few previous articles that provide a perspective on the above.

Aging Without Frailty – A Series

Extend Your Healthy Longevity – Twelve Things That May Be Accelerating Your Aging – A Three-part Series.

The last point I want to make about my aging is that I’ve reached a stage where I can’t wait to get up in the morning and do what I do (here’s a link to my LinkedIn profile which will provide you a quick view of what I do). This only came after a long period of self-discovery through my 60s where I finally acknowledged what I was really wired up to do but that I had avoided with my 35-year investment in the corporate world.

With this deep self-discovery, I have more energy and drive than at any other stage of my life. It’s one of the reasons that I am not an advocate of traditional retirement as we know it in the U.S. because it takes us in the wrong direction relative to how our natural biology works. Meaningful, purposeful work mixed with leisure and continued learning is a magic combination that takes my mind off my age and, I believe, will bode well for me getting closer to that 112 1/2 than most people believe I can.

So, all that said, the bottom line is that I feel good in this aging game that I’m playing and having the time of my life. And hoping to bring some others with me.

How would you answer the question? I’m really curious – share your thoughts with a comment below or email me your thoughts at gary@makeagingwork.com.

Don’t Be a “Get Off My Lawn” Elder!

If you are at mid-life or beyond and reading this, do yourself (and me) a favor and spend 34 minutes, 23 seconds and watch this video.

Marc Middleton (on the left) is CEO of Growing Bolder which is described as ” –  a team of award-winning journalists, broadcasters and creatives all focused on sharing the inspirational stories of ordinary people living extraordinary lives — men and women who are redefining the possibilities of life after 50.”

I’ve followed G-B for a few years and feel they are doing wonderful things. There’s much to be gained and nothing to lose by subscribing and becoming a “Growing Bolder Insider.”

In keeping with Marc’s commitment to addressing the issues surrounding ageism and “growing older but bolder,” he has produced this interview with what many consider he ultimate authority” on aging, Dr. Ken Dychtwald. founder and CEO of AgeWave and author of 17 books on aging.

I will confess to having been heavily influenced by Dr. Dychtwald’s research, writings, and public presentations.

This video brings Dr. Dychtwald to us as truly “one of us” as he has just turned 70.

I won’t steal any of the thunder from this interview except to say it speaks positively to the opportunity that we have, as folks aging into our second half/third age. to address ageism and contribute mightily to influencing where our culture and society are going.

Please click on the link to the video below the picture and absorb some of the content offered by two of the most influential “third-agers” available to us.

 

 

Click here to watch the video.

Managing Yourself Into Your Second Half – Three Critical Steps

“When work for most people meant manual labor, there was no need to worry about the second half of your life. You simply kept on doing what you had always done. And if you were lucky enough to survive 40 years of hard work in the mill or on the railroad, you were quite happy to spend the rest of your life doing nothing. Today, however, most work is knowledge work, and knowledge workers are not ‘finished’ after 40 years on the job, they are merely bored.

We hear a great deal of talk about the midlife crisis of the executive. It is mostly boredom. At 45, most executives have reached the peak of their business careers, and they know it. After 20 years of doing very much the same kind of work, they are very good at their jobs. But they are not learning or contributing or deriving challenge and satisfaction from the job. And yet they are still likely to face another 20 if not 25 years of work. That is why managing one-self increasingly leads one to begin a second career.”

I stole the long quote from a short Harvard Business Review booklet entitled “Managing Oneself”  by the late, great,  and revered management/business guru, Peter F. Drucker.

Drucker suggests that there are three ways to develop a second career:

  1. Actually start one.  It may mean moving from one kind of organization to another,  or perhaps moving into a completely different line of work. Like a close friend of mine who took his sales skills from the high-end furniture industry to the automobile brokerage industry and thrived.
  2. Develop a parallel career.  Another close friend and investment banking executive prepared himself for a parallel career in Christian counseling by getting a Master of Divinity on top of his MBA. He functions in both roles with a thriving counseling business where heart and wisdom team up to change lives one at a time. With the changes and volatility taking place in the banking/brokerage world, his decision may prove prescient.
  3. Be a social entrepreneur. These are people who have been successful in their first careers but are no longer challenged.  Very much like my friend Ron Benfield who I wrote about in my 3/2/20 article. Ron fit this scenario. Unchallenged and passed over in his large hospital CFO role, he started his own healthcare consulting firm which thrives two years later providing services back to hospitals solving the same problems he solved as a successful CFO. But now he provides employment to a team of skilled professionals who were also escaping the corporate handcuffs.

Option #3 appears to be alive and well – –

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the self-employment rate among workers 65 and older (who don’t incorporate) is the highest of any age group in America: 15.5 percent. In sharp contrast, it’s 4.1 percent for ages 25 to 34.  We’ve known for some time that more businesses are started by people over 50 than any other age group.

– – but the majority still don’t plan for their second half.

Drucker comes to a conclusion similar to my observation as I connect with mid-life professionals.

He says:

“People who manage the second half of their lives may always be a minority. The majority may ‘retire on the job’ and count the years until their actual retirement. But it is this minority, the men and women who see a long working-life expectancy as an opportunity both for themselves and for society, who will become leaders and models.”

Why is it that the majority fail to plan for the second half?  Perhaps it is not accepting the fact that living longer will inevitably include some level of a major setback in work or life. Whether it is being passed over, being a victim of a downsize, a marriage breakup, loss of a child, a second major interest – beyond a hobby – can make a huge difference.

How do I do this?

Let me share three suggestions that should help:

1. Start early. Drucker suggests beginning long before entering the second half, noting that all the social entrepreneurs he knew began to work on their chosen second career long before they reached the peak of their original careers. Much of this can happen through volunteering, pursuing one’s curiosity, experimenting while at the same time expanding awareness of opportunities and needs in the world. Drucker makes the point that “- if one does not begin to volunteer before one is 40 or so, one will not volunteer once past 60.”

2. Get reacquainted with your real self. We all start with an “essential self” and it sticks with us until we are no longer. Martha Beck, author of the seminal book “Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live” describes it as:

“–the personality you got from your genes: your characteristic desires, preferences, emotional reactions, and involuntary physiological responses, bound together by an overall sense of identity.”

Unfortunately, career pursuit, conformity, building another’s dreams, and chasing the paycheck can push that essential self to the background. Beck suggests it is the formation of  a “social self” or “– that part of you that developed in response to pressures from the people around you and was shaped by cultural norms and expectations.”

The aforementioned major setback has a way of bringing that essential self forward.  Rather than wait for the setback, mid-life is a time to reflect, reassess, and resurrect that core, essential self and commit – through experimentation – to finding a way to apply it in the second half.

Kick start the process by asking yourself:

  • What am I really, really good at?
  • What do I really, really want to do?
  • What does the world need?

3. Grow, learn, expand, be curious. Now is a good time to not only rediscover your essence but also beef up your skills. Discovering your essence should reacquaint you with your talents. Now is a good time to burnish those talents with deeper skills and turn them into deeper strengths. Take some classes; go for a new or another certification; volunteer and learn something new.  It’s easy to flat-line intellectually at this mid-point, stay stuck in old ways, and be unprepared for the unexpected.

Be the CEO of your second half.

I’ll wrap with another quote from Drucker:

“Every existing society, even the most individualistic one, takes two things for granted, if only subconsciously: that organizations outlive workers, and that most people stay put.

But today the opposite is true. Knowledge workers outlive organizations, and they are mobile. The need to manage oneself is therefore creating a revolution in human affairs.”

I hope this may help you join the revolution.

Share a comment below. Thanks for actively participating in the discussion.  Join our email list if you haven’t already by going to www.makeagingwork.com. You’ll receive our free ebook “Achieve Your Full-live Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose.”

Stay safe!

 

 

It’s Never Too Late To Get “AMPed”. Post-career May Be the Best Time!

Time travel with me for a second, will you?

It’s day one of your life – cleaned up, aspirated, swaddled, lying on mom’s chest.

Were you?

  1. Active and engaged?
  2. Passive and inert?

OK – I tried it and it didn’t work for me either. My recall was a tad fuzzy. Perhaps a little early for those esoteric thoughts.

Let’s roll the camera forward three years. Were you #1 or #2?

Now, we’re getting somewhere. My recall of me at that age isn’t much better, but I guarantee I wasn’t #2.  Nor were you. There was some level of “out-of-control” in your life and mine at that age.  That’s our start-up wiring. Perhaps like you, I’ve watched it through my kids and, now, my grandkids.

Have you ever seen a three-year-old that isn’t curious and pretty much into his or her own thing? Active, engaged, curious, self-directed, exploding with mile-a-minute ideas and creativity, all impractical and unmarketable. As parents/grandparents, we roll with it, confident that “this, too, shall pass” and taking comfort in the fact that #2 will eventually prevail.

And then, like most of us, chances are they will ride the #2 bus to the end, creativity and enthusiasm giving way to cultural expectations and the allure of extrinsic rewards of the work world. The final big dose of #2 will come with a full-stop retirement plan where passivity and inertia thrive.

Our default setting gets shifted!

We have lots of help on this journey. For instance, the “5 P’s” that creep into our lives to make sure that the energy, creativity, engagement, unpredictability is corralled back between the culturally-acceptable fences. You remember the P’s, don’t you?

  • Parents
  • Peers
  • Professors
  • Politicians
  • Pundits

Then,  43 or 57, our three-year-old-self is, well – we’re not really sure where it is. And we don’t get much encouragement to try to find it again. It’s not part of the “model.” The “5 C’s” have taken ownership:

  • Comfort
  • Convenience
  • Comparison
  • Conventionality
  • Contentment

And then, mid-life or later, we hear a voice saying “Is this all there is?” Or somebody reminds us that the number of people attending our funeral is going to be largely determined by the weather!

Ouch!

Very few don’t give in to the 5 P’s and C’s. Most of us do.

Are you “Type X” or “Type 1”?

Author Daniel Pink, in his best-seller “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”, unpacks some intriguing corollaries to all of the above, based on extensive research into human nature relative to our innate drivers.

Hugely condensed, Pink’s message is that our best self emerges when our rewards are intrinsic (inside) and not extrinsic (external). As an example, recognition versus money.

He takes it further to point out that there are inner drivers that take us to our full potential and fulfillment. They are:

  • Autonomy
  • Mastery
  • Purpose

A-M-P!

He distinguishes between two types of people, Type X and Type 1, saying:

“For Type X’s, the main motivator is external rewards; any deeper satisfaction is welcome, but secondary. For Type 1’s, the main motivator is the freedom, challenge, and purpose of the undertaking itself; any other gains are welcome, but mainly as a bonus.”

The core message in Pink’s book seems to be (I’m 2/3 through it) that we are awakening to the weaknesses inherent in systems built on the extrinsic rewards that have been the predominant model in business tracing back to the start of the industrial age. Smarter managers are now seeing better results when they appeal to, and create an atmosphere for, the motivating force of the intrinsic rewards of having autonomy, pursuing mastery, and doing something with deep purpose.

His message engendered some not-so-positive memories of my 35 years of corporate life, which ended 18 years ago at age 60. I’m challenged to remember any significant intrinsic rewards from my five different work experiences across three different industries.

I was doing it all for the money. For the eventual retirement dream. What I didn’t have, and was never offered, was (drum roll) A-M-P.

My autonomy gave way to a cubicle, an 8 a.m. at-your-desk-or-else edict, and an under-qualified, forever-threatened boss.

My mastery never flourished because shifting corporate programs, policies, products didn’t keep us in one spot long enough to master something – plus, I had no clue what I might want to master. It was all about hitting the numbers and earning the cash.

Purpose? Oh, it was there – it just wasn’t mine. It belonged to senior management and the satisfaction of shareholders.

OK, I’m a whiner, a victim, an anomaly.

Well, I think not, as evidenced by what Forbes reported in 2018 about how employee engagement continues to shrink in the enlightening article entitled “10 Shocking Workplace Stats You Need To Know.” In it, The Conference Board reveals that “- 53% of American workers are currently unhappy at work.” Gallup’s extensive research reveals nearly 20% are actively disengaged.

One out of two has no A-M-P in their lives. One in five is clearly in it only for the extrinsic.

I’m not out to change that!

I’m done with the corporate scene and have no intention of trying to do what Daniel Pink is doing i.e. transforming the way we treat people in the workplace.

But I am out to plant the seeds of the A-M-P principle in the minds of folks at the mid-life, post-career, early-retirement, “third age” phases of life.

It’s at those stages where a crossroads exists: #1 or #2 for the rest of my life?

Parts of #2 are pretty tempting after 30-40 years of corporate life. What’s not to like about no schedule, no agenda, no alarm clock, and being one with the voice-activated remote.

That euphoria wears out pretty quickly. And then it’s “what’s next?” or “what now?”

My suggestion: Get AMPed!

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to experience the autonomy that was absent in the control-and-command corporate world?

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to be able to achieve a significant level of mastery over something we have longed to do most of our lives?

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to be able to discover a purpose of our own rather than one dictated to us?

The formula looks like this:

AMP = (Doing what I want, when I want, where I want) + (Doing what I’m really good, what I really like to do) + (Making something/somebody/someplace better) 

Simple. Fulfilling. And likely to add more life to our years as well as more years to our lives.

And a chance to be your three-year-old self, active and engaged.

We appreciate your feedback. Have a thought about all this? Scroll down and leave a comment. And thanks for being a reader. If you aren’t on our email list, you can join up, at no cost, at www.makeagingwork.com.  See you next week.

 

After working in a career for 31 years, and then retiring at 57, is it better to relax for awhile or get a post-retirement job fairly quickly?

Recently, I penned out an answer to this question asked on Quora.com:

“After working in a career for 31 years, and then retiring at 57, is it better to relax for a while or get a post-retirement job fairly quickly?”

My answer is my 10th most viewed post on Quora (out of 365 posts) with just under 30,000 views.  A number of readers took the time to comment. I like this one in particular:

Terence S. commented: 

“I had the fortune to take a “mid-life retirement” from 40–46. I learned a valuable lesson that prepared me for the rest of my working life. Money, Friends, Purpose really do matter.

1) Having the money to do your bucket list will make you happy. Material things don’t last in my soul, but the remarkable adventures I took in those 7 years make me smile every day. The Corollary to that is get out there and do anything that requires physical effort and stamina before your body gives out! Stay active no matter what. There is a cut off between riding your bike across the United States to riding your bike across the state to just riding 10 miles. Travel while you still can if that’s your thing. Eventually, it will be rocking chair time.

2) Despite having a wonderful time for 6 years I got itchy. The walls started closing in on me. I was bored. I needed a purpose. So I went back to school and got a Masters in Education and have been teaching in an elementary school for the last 14 years. In addition to building upon my previous career’s savings, I’ve now built up a decent pension and 403(b) account. I love what I do and working with kids gets me out of bed every day. Plus I get 2 months off every summer! The irony is that after 2 months I can’t wait to get back to work with the next bunch of kids. As long as I have the stamina I’ll keep doing this.

3) Having community is something I’ve neglected and I realized that as well during my time off. I have a couple of support groups, but I’m trying to cultivate community outside of work.

If you don’t stay active, connected, and purposeful your mind, spirit, and body will give out on you fairly quickly and at that age, it’s hard to recover.”

Terence is in an enviable position that fewer people are going to be able to realize, having been resourceful with his career and the financial side of his life.

I’ve been fortunate to work with folks who are at a similar “life-decision point” and concur that there is a very strong argument for taking some time off, relaxing, and being self-indulgent for awhile.

But only for awhile.

Long enough to do some serious soul-searching, reflection, and consideration of what you want the rest of your life to look like.

It’s important to understand that we have never been where we are now. This is not our parents’ or grandparents’ retirement. Like Terence, many are moving into a “post-career” phase with the possibility of living 25–40 more years.

That’s a long – and dangerous – stretch to spend in the traditional, full-stop, leisure-based retirement model that still pervades our thinking and planning. I’m sure that 30 years of bingo, bridge and boche ball isn’t going to excite many.

It certainly won’t excite our biology which is designed to grow, not decay. Traditional retirement has proven itself a superior pathway to accelerated decay.

Entering into the retirement phase of life is a critical and exciting juncture. We can decide to continue to grow – or decay. We can decide if we want to continue to produce and serve or pursue the traditional retirement route of being a self-indulgent consumer.

The choice is ours. Some time off to reflect on this is time well spent. It’s a time to reflect back on what we have accomplished in this “first two-thirds” of our lives, a time to think deeply about what really excites is, what we are really, really good at, and how that may intersect with what the world needs.

Maybe that will mean getting another job that touches those areas. It may mean doing work at a non-profit (for-pay or no-pay); it may mean starting our own venture that puts our “active wisdom” to work. Much of that will depend on whether we need to supplement our retirement income.

As you can sense, I am an evangelist for redefining retirement. Terence fit the mold of those I strive to reach with the message that this post-career phase of life can, and should be, the most impactful, purposeful, and fulfilling.

Six decades of “labor-to-leisure”, “vocation-to-vacation” retirement have taught us a number of things beyond the fact that it does not honor our birthright to good health. Foremost of these, in my mind, is the wasting of accumulated talent, skills, and experience that folks, like Terence, can bring forward for the benefit of our society.

We are buried in research confirming that work is a vital component of healthy longevity – contrary to what the traditional leisure-based retirement model has sold us for decades.

Few centenarians didn’t work until they couldn’t.

So. let me step down from my soapbox and encourage us mid-lifers, pre-retirees, early-retirees to take some time off, relax, reminisce, reflect, and respond to our inner urges with the realization that we have a long and impactful future ahead for which we can set the tone, the shape, and the pace. That’s the beauty of this phase – at this phase, we now have the most control we’ve had in 3-4 decades

Just beware of the temptation to slide toward comfort, convenience, and conformity. There will be pressure from peers to “just retire.” Netflix and the voice-activated TV remote can be very tempting. Don’t linger too long in your relaxation!

One of my favorite virtual mentors is Dan Sullivan, founder of Strategic Coach. Dan once stated that people die early for three reasons:

  1. No money
  2. No friends
  3. No purpose

Our mission at this point should be to protect our health and work toward a meaningful purpose for the balance of our lives. Without it, our life may be shorter and full of regrets.

My goal with clients who are in Terence’s situation is to help them find a “balanced, flexible lifestyle of labor, leisure, and learning.”

I wish the same for all of you.

If interested in how we help people explore and plan for the possibilities for a healthy, fulfilling post-career, email gary@makeagingwork.com or call 720-344-7784 to set up a no-cost, no-obligation “exploratory” conversation. Also, join our growing list of subscribers if you haven’t already by going to www.makeagingwork.com and adding your email. You’ll receive a free e-book entitled ““Achieve Your Full-life Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose” and receive a new article every Monday.

How Old Would You Be If You Didn’t Know How Old You Are?

I believe it was Satchel Paige that asked the question that is my article headline.

You may have heard of (or remember) Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, American Negro League pitcher who is notable for his longevity in the game. He became a Hall of Famer, died in 1982 at age 76, and was known for his quotes in addition to his baseball prowess.

Like this one:

“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

I like both quotes. At 78, I think you can understand why I like them.

Last week, I talked about starting a revolution to stamp out ageism. With a bit of a twist, I continue the quest.

This week, I sucked down a large dose of Steve Chandler, life and business coach extraordinaire and one of my favorite authors. I had loaned one of my favorite Chandler books to my son some time ago and it found its way (miraculously) back to my house recently. Read? Unread? He’s not saying – doesn’t matter. What matters is that I had a chance to dive back into it and complete my fifth reading (not a typo) of it since 2016.

The book is entitled “The Story of You.- And How to Create a New One.”  One of his most popular books. And, for me, a real gut-punch of reality about life and what we make it.

It’s classic Chandler. As in:

Get over yourself!!

The whole book is about how our lives are nothing more than made-up-stories with us as the authors.

In Chapter 8, “The Story of Growing Old”, Chandler says bluntly:

“Our age and attitude toward it is simply a made up story – influenced by listening to the stories told around us. You can’t be old unless you have a story about how old you are.”

Chandler keys off a prediction by celebrity alternative medicine doctor Dr. Andrew Weill who has predicted that the baby boomer generation will return focus and dignity to aging.  Like Chandler, I hope he’s right because, in Chandler’s words, “-it’s just a made-up story to say that young is better than old.”

Weill makes the point:

“Why are old wines and whiskeys valued much more than young ones? Why are we moved in the presence of old trees? When you age cheese, it improves the cheese. Antiques are valuable because they are so old. Older violins are the most treasured.”
Can’t we consider all the qualities of aging that make these things more valuable and apply them to people – and change the story we have about older people?
We’re up against it when it comes to changing the narrative, the story about aging. But it starts with us. We have to resist the negative aging story which can become very convincing because it’s so prevalent around us.  Chandler puts it this way:

“This negative aging story soon becomes convincing. It even entrances the old people themselves! Some older people, when they retire, start walking differently. They hobble and shuffle along. They speak differently, too, as if in a play with new parts to play. They stop exercising because their story is that they’re old now. Their voices get high-pitched, thin, reedy, and weak. How much of that is the physical decline, and how much of it is living into the pre-scripted story.”

There are legions of those who have rejected this pre-scripted story.

Warren Buffet hasn’t slowed much at age 89 – he still reads 5 hours a day in his office.

William Shatner, also 89, still travels, performs, creates as if his hair was on fire.

Norman MacLean rejected the idea of retirement and, at age 73, wrote his highly acclaimed masterpiece “A River Runs Through It.”

John Housman won an academy award for his performance in The Paper Chase but hadn’t started acting until he was 70.

Chandler had convinced himself for years that he was too old to write books until he changed the story he was telling himself at age 50 and has since turned out over 30 books. His new story? He would keep writing until his dying day. And he was making it up as he went.

It’s like deja-vu all over again, for me. My reinvention to write for the rest of my life is my changed story and I, too, am truly building this airplane in flight. And can’t wait to get up each morning and add one more little part.

Part of that new story is that I started posting responses on Quora.com about 15 months ago answering questions in my sweet spot of health and wellness, aging, longevity, career transition, etc.

On a whim, my first post was an answer to the crazy question: “What is the cause of the common odor many senior citizens have (despite good hygiene)? I know something about it because I had researched it for a book that I have written that remains in what is beginning to look like terminal draft stage.

You can read the Quora post here. If you do click on it, you will see, as of today, it has garnered 306,000 views and over 1,500 upvotes.

Whaa? About why old people smell?  Really?

Since that article, I’ve posted around 350 articles with 1.8 million views, nearly 10,000 upvotes, and earned Top 10 writer in a couple of categories. All of which, together with $2, will buy me a cup of Starbuck’s horrid coffee.

Why do it? Because I changed my story. I want to write. I feel I have a voice and a message and it’s a chance to maybe touch somebody, somewhere.

I get a lot of feedback on those posts, nearly all positive. There is one comment, however, that remains permanently ensconced in my brain because, well, the truth hurts. One gentleman didn’t line up with one of my arguments about something and simply just referred to me as an insufferable p***k.

I relayed that incident to my roommate of 49 1/2 years who responded with a “YES” and a fist pump.

I’ve kept a log of most of the comments (38 pages of them, in fact) because many of them have stories that I find educational and help guide me with my content. I want to share one with you:

A Harrington commented on your answer to: “What is the best advice you can give to someone who recently turned 60?”

6/9/2020

“Thank you Gary. I am female, 52 and have ‘missed the boat’ on a fulfilling, promising career. I did manage a bachelor’s degree after high school but then dropped the ball and simply took various jobs just to keep money coming in and survive. A very big mistake of which I have only myself to blame. (However, I did conceive a beautiful child and had many happy years as a stay-at-home Mom.)

So now I sit with the pain of missed opportunity and a feeling of loss at never having made more of myself. I have been toying with the idea of additional schooling to complete a teaching certificate. It would take me 16 months to do so and I would finish at the later side of 53, but after reading your post I think maybe I am not so crazy for considering it? Possibly someone would benefit from this older gal becoming a teacher?”

That’s why I write, why my story changed. Maybe A. Harrington will move from “victim” to “owner.” Maybe she will pull off a story change from the story she’s been telling herself (missing the boat) and move from toying to doing and touch many young people’s lives.

There are many like it in my comment log. People needing, wanting a story change. Each an affirmation that we are all made up stories, telling ourselves what we think others want us to be.

We are truly masters of lying to ourselves. And we’ve had a lot of help.

So, am I really 78?

Or can I be 45? Or 92? Some would L-O-L at the 45. Most wouldn’t care.  This morning, as I write, it feels like 45. My lower back says 92. But 45 wins.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.

What’s yours?

Got a thought or comment about all this?  Share it below or with an email to gary@makeagingwork.com.  If you aren’t on our mailing list for each week’s free article, you can join in a heartbeat at www.makeagingwork.com. Stay safe, be sensible.

There’s a Longevity Revolution Brewing.  Are You Going to Be Part of It?

 

Do you get the impression that millennials still don’t seem to like us so much, we COVID-susceptible, creaky, white-haired relics?

The “OK Boomer” wave seems to have fizzled but there is still a bubbling resentment. No better demonstration of that than the virus-flaunting that’s taking place by the youngers at bars and beaches.

I suspect if I were to engage a group of millennials in a conversation about a “longevity revolution” in which we “geezers-in-progress” will be living even longer, it wouldn’t be welcomed news.

After all, their general narrative is that we are the big reason life can tilt toward miserable for a lot of them, right? Hoarding the wealth; setting the stage for planet destruction; not vacating the jobs they want/are entitled to; creating the technologies that have reduced their opportunities; creating police departments.

To which I say: “Heads up, whippersnapper!!  It’s gonna happen – let’s get in step together and team up!”

Who knows what is going to emerge from the economic COVID rubble. But one thing is unchangeable. Even with this microbe monster picking off the low-hanging fruit of co-morbid seniors, the 50+ demographic will remain one of the fastest-growing demographics in America.

There are 109 million of us over 50 in the U.S.  Boomers, who make up about 78 million of that, are now being joined in this 50+ group by the front edge of GenXers.

What to do with all us “geezers-in-progress?”

What if we started our own revolution, we prototype “geezers?”

A “longevity revolution.”

If there is some room for optimism in this pandemic, I’m thinking it may come from having the best minds across 150 countries focused on finding answers and that there will be serendipities galore as we gain a deeper understanding of how to protect our biology and extend our time on this mudball.

In other words, we could end up continuing to get even older for longer. We are already living, on average, about 10 years longer than we were a mere 50 years ago.

That possibility scares the s*** out of ageist politicians, corporations, and governments. And millennials. And those who fear aging.

But what if it means solutions to many of the ills that have beset us globally.

Now there’s a mindset with chalkboard/fingernail screechy dissonance! Geezers solving world problems? Really?

C’mon. You getting to 50 or 60 or 70 – or me to 78 – took some level of talent and moxie, right? OK, some luck, too. But, where does it say that it’s supposed to fizzle out at 65? Outdated models would have you to believe it, but don’t tell your body and mind that. They’ve both got a lot of fight left if we’re willing to put on the gloves.

Look, all of us pre-boomers, boomers and early GenXers have a choice. Just be older for longer taking up space and using up oxygen – or do something with this longevity bonus.

We can tack those extra years on the end and continue to cling to the 85-year old FDR model designed to send us to the sidelines to be “consumers supported by society.” Or we can be “producers adding to its strengths.”

I borrowed those words from Joseph F. Coughlin in his book “The Longevity Economy: Unlocking the World’s Fastest-growing, Most Misunderstood Market.” I’m on board with Coughlin who says that the FDR-spawned concept of government-supported and sanctioned retirement seized upon by the insurance industry for the creation of leisure-based “golden years” is a “narrative whose time is done.”

The 20th-century idea that “the aged” are inherently unhealthy and uniformly incapable of economic production admittedly led to some important government programs e.g. Social Security, Medicare.

But now, in Coughlin’s words,

“- that narrative has become a liability. it has taken us as far as it can, but it is now holding back innovation in a way that’s proven hard for many to recognize, let alone solve. [The] invention that once served us well must be replaced.”

It’s encouraging to see that we are gradually rejecting the glamour of leisure-based retirement. With the artificial finish line established 85 years ago, we shoved people into a space with “- – no institutions or instructions for how to live, no economic production roles to differentiate one retiree from the next, and nothing to tell them what to do with their time.”

So we invented something – the “we” being insurance companies and the Del Webb’s of the world. The result? Legions of self-indulgent consumers sequestered in large luxury ”warehouses” with atrophying skills and talents, hanging with others with atrophying skills and talents.

No youth allowed to interfere with this planned early demise.

The revolution is starting. Join the fight.

The revolution against this has legs driven by demographics, changing attitudes, a drop in immigration, the changing retirement landscape, and the fact that companies will have no choice but to reconsider their positions on hiring or rehiring older workers.

What does a longevity revolutionary do? They start with a commitment to changing attitudes and undermining the rampant ageism in the marketplace.  Not with a sign on the street corner, or mob protests in the streets, or a book (with all due respect to Ashton Applewhite’s fantastic book on the subject), or some other form of a public rant but rather through an individual commitment to preparing for and engaging in the fight smarter and more effectively.

 

Here are ten things you can do to prepare and be a part of the “revolution”:

  1. Protect your health. Get healthy, stay healthy. Become a student of your biology and what it needs to operate optimally and with renewed energy. (HINT: Start with an evaluation of your diet – bad diet is now the #1 cause of early death in the U.S., having surpassed smoking.)
  2. Continue your education, never stop learning. Stay sharp. Keep up with the basic technology. Check out free/inexpensive resources like Senior Planet or One Day University.
  3. Have a proud physical condition and presence. See #1. Be visibly in shape and sport a current wardrobe.
  4. Be an active networker, building relationships outside of the old, tired inner circle. Take a millennial or two to lunch and LISTEN! No lectures allowed!!
  5. Commit to a purpose and build your personal brand around it, using life’s accomplishments together with talents, and strengths. Don’t waste that first two-thirds of life!
  6. Put yourself “out there.” Use social media -professionally, not just socially.
  7. Add speaking skills. You’ve got a voice and lots to say.  Join Toastmasters and learn to speak, build confidence, and hang out with inspiring, positive people (most of them younger than you). It’s a “double-dip” environment.
  8. Get rid of your ageist language. No more “aging is a bitch” or “aging isn’t for sissies” or “whassup, old-timer” or “you certainly don’t look your age” or “I just had a senior moment” or “you’re not retired yet?”
  9. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to show up at the fitness center (when they return) and work on #1 above amongst the tattoos, tank tops, and lulu lemons.
  10. Adopt a “Modern Elder” mindset and not a “Senior Citizen” mindset. See my 10/21/19 article on this movement here.

We can “whine and wait” for the industrial complex to come to their senses and start reconsidering the role of over-60 people in their organizations.  Or for that fistfight on the Potomac to find some chill and smart pills.  Or we can make it impossible for them to ignore us by how we prepare, present ourselves, speak out, and defend our space.

Viva la revolution!

Not ready to join a revolution? Then at least join our mailing list if you haven’t, at www.makeagingwork.com. And leave us a comment, below or at gary@makeagingwork.com. Stay safe.

Do You Have an “Escape Tunnel” or “Glidepath” to Your “Retirement Victory Lap?”

OK – I’m guilty. I’m full-on plagiarizing!

I stole all of the terms you see in quotes in the headline from Mike Drak, Rob Morrison, and Jonathan Chevreau (henceforth known as M, R, & J)

Secretly, I hate them!

You see, they put into 209 wonderfully written pages what I’ve been blogging about for three years. They co-authored a book entitled: “Victory Lap Retirement: Work While You Play, Play While You Work”.

It’s the book I should have written a couple of years ago. But, I let my constant sidekick dominate. You’ve met him – his name is P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N!

So, you go, guys! You’ve done masterful work with an amazing combination of advice from both financial and non-financial perspectives.

Dear reader: if you are at, close to, or even thinking about retirement, buy the book. It could be the best $15-18 (Amazon) investment you’ll make on behalf of the post-career phase of your life. (Disclosure: if you buy it through either Amazon link above, I will earn a pittance of an Amazon Affiliate commission).

An “escape tunnel” or a “glidepath”.

These three musketeers introduced a concept worth sharing because it fits so well into the evolving retirement landscape.

For several years now, we’ve been tossing around terms like “encore career”, “semi-retirement”, “unretirement”, “rewirement”, “reinvention”, etc., etc., ad nauseum. All an attempt to put a reasonable tag on this “new frontier” of extended longevity trying to co-exist with an irrelevant, worn-out, 85-year-old concept called traditional, full-stop retirement.

It’s taking us a while, but we’re finally admitting that it doesn’t fit for today’s healthier, more savvy “third agers” who are entering that period between end-of-career and true old age.  That space used to be about 3-5 years – now it could be 30-40.

Close your eyes: Imagine 30 years of bridge with three others your age, all with that curious old people smell.  Or 30 years of bocce ball, pickleball, bingo, golf. Or a couple of decades of “pity parties” and “organ recitals” with full-stop retirees discussing the latest surgery, arthritic area, immobility issue, slipped memory incident, or an acquaintance experiencing all of the above.

If I haven’t sufficiently pissed you off and you are still with me, close your eyes again. Imagine having gathered together all your natural talents, stirred them together with acquired skills and experiences and stepped into a vibrant life with inordinate energy, an inspirational reason to get up in the morning, and going to bed experiencing a “good tired” because you completed a day having served, contributed, and impacted someone or something.

That’s what M, R & J call the “Victory Lap” – a celebration of what you are all about, on your terms, on your schedule, doing what you are best at and doing it when, where, and how you please.

But you don’t hop off a cliff to get there. It calls for a “glidepath” or, if you are corporately-snared, an “escape tunnel” (close your eyes again and think Andy and Shawshank Redemption and the swim through the sewage).

Start digging your “escape tunnel” now!

Remember the line from Red (Morgan Freeman) in Shawshank when he ‘reminisced” about his lengthy incarceration:

“These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized. They send you here for life, that’s exactly what they take. The part that counts anyway.”

Show of hands. How many just read a description of their corporate job?

Andy refused to get used to the walls – his escape tunnel took 20 years. The authors draw a parallel to Andy in the movie:

“The smart ones among us do as Andy does and start digging their escape tunnel toward freedom (financial independence) the minute they join the Corp. They view the time they spend in the Corp as part of a bigger plan, adopting the institution purposefully and using the benefits it provides to help them reach their long-term goals.”

When I started corporate life a half-century ago, there was a palatable combo of loyalty to employees, security in a position, and pension plans. Today, toss them all. Recent research is showing that over 50% of corporate employees don’t like their jobs. READ: they are doing it for the money.

An escape plan from today’s Corp is the appropriate mindset from day one. Use the Corp instead of it using you.

Sage advice from the authors: “ … begin planning today for your “jailbreak” by creating your own destiny and charting your eventual Victory Lap.”

Takeoffs only – no landings allowed!

I agree with M, R, & J when they say that your “victory lap” is limited only by your imagination (see my 6/22/20 blog here). Full-stop retirement tends not to tax the imagination. Their glidepath strategy presents an opportunity to be creative and continue to work on one’s own terms as long as one pleases. It may call for continuing with a current employer if the work is enjoyable, but on a part-time basis. Or it may be with another organization within the same industry.

I see it a lot with healthcare executives who glidepath into consulting.

A glidepath may team up with a Passion/Hobby Strategy with the full- or part-time work satisfying the desire to pursue a long-delayed passion. There is more risk here because it may be a major “lane change.”

I recall wasting a ton of time 15-20 years ago doing deep research on starting my own fly-fishing retail shop because I was so deeply passionate and immersed in the sport. Fortunately, sanity prevailed and I conceded that it would be turning a hobby into drudgery at 1/3 of the income I was making at the time.

Be sure to give more than a second thought to making a passion or hobby your escape tunnel or glidepath.

Do as I say, not as I did!

I broke from the Corp at age 60. But it was a “jailbreak”, no escape tunnel. I was mentally checked out probably two years before the jailbreak. An industry collapse and looming bankruptcy left me no time for an escape tunnel, even if I had conceived of the idea. My jailbreak was from MCI.  You may remember them – jail time for Bernie Ebbers (now deceased), Enron era, lot of craziness and Corp knuckleheads.

Sans escape tunnel or intentional glidepath, I went over the cliff into my own recruiting business, insufficiently prepared and with illusionary visions of being entrepreneur material.  If M, R & J and their book had been around then, I may have rethought that step, perhaps hanging in the Corp world for a few more years, continuing to feed a pretty healthy “retirement nest egg” with full intentions of absconding on my terms.

But, then again, probably not because I’ve never been good at relinquishing my time to another and, for decades, had found the Corp very stultifying relative to my inflexibility in the time ownership area.

Plus, retirement as a concept had exited my vocabulary and mindset years prior to this big step.

I guess you could say I ended up on a 15-year glidepath as I stumbled and humbled through at least two “reinventions” ultimately discovering my own version of a Victory Lap doing what I am wired up to do and which I intend to do until I can’t. I’ve unashamedly set that “can’t” as past 100 years.

Thanks to M, R & J for advancing the argument that full-stop retirement is dinosaur territory and that it’s well nigh time we redeployed the accumulated talents, skills, experience, energy, and enthusiasm of this 55+ group back into a marketplace and culture in bad need of a large dose of wisdom and stability.

Let me know what you think of the book – and this article with a comment below or an email to gary@makeagingwork.com. If you aren’t on our subscription list, it’s free and easy at www.makeagingwork.com.  Plus, a subscription comes with a free ebook: “Achieve Your Full-life Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose.”

Sixty-years-old or about to be? Here Are Some Experience-based Suggestions for the Path Ahead.

As a 78-year-old I’ve been there and done the 60-year-old thing.

The experiences and decisions of my late 50s and early 60s played a big role in developing the roadmap I’m navigating for the rest of my life. I’m dedicated to sharing this experience in hopes that what I’ve learned will help others at this juncture to develop a roadmap for their own “third age” or “post-mid-life-transition” phase of life.

The late 50s, early 60s present us with opportunities to make some of the most critical and significant decisions we will make in our lives.

I’d like to share just three thoughts that may help pave a healthy and purposeful path for this “third age”.

1. Reject the conventional, decades-old cultural expectations for what lies ahead.

By that, I mean rejecting the view that this next phase is a time to “wind down and come in for a landing”. At 60, we are carrying forward decades of “retirement indoctrination” e.g. time to slow down, kick back, indulge ourselves.

With COVID, many more of us will join the growing number who are unprepared financially for traditional full-stop retirement – perhaps as high as 60% of us, according to some recent reports. With that may come the joint fear of running out of money and the subtle condemnation that our culture lays on us if we don’t retire on or before that sacred number 65.

Yes, there remains a significant number who are “financially prepared” and still anticipate a full-stop retirement convinced they have earned and are entitled to the self-indulgence it allows. Although declining, it’s still an attitude that persists with the help of a powerful but relatively unchanged financial-services industry. It’s a model with 85-year-old legs, conceived for political reasons in 1935 that established an artificial finish line of 65 when the average American didn’t make it past 62.

Facing 3–5 years of retirement, it made sense for your parents or grandparents to head to the beach, golf course, or Leisure World. Today, with us living 20–40 years longer, the model doesn’t fit. Thirty years of golf or bingo, bridge and boche ball, and the bulging waistline that accompanies it doesn’t make sense.

Whether you are financially prepared on not, my suggestion for this life juncture is to consider redefining retirement. Consider that you may be going forward with a mindset that is out of step with the world around you – not to mention your biology – if traditional retirement is the model you are pursuing for the balance of your life.

If you agree, or this interests you, here are three solid resources that you will find helpful:

There is considerable duplication across all three books but each also contains unique and powerful suggestions and preparatory activities.  Read all three, and you have the equivalent of a master’s degree in “non-financial retirement planning.”

FULL DISCLOSURE: Should you buy any of these by clicking on the live link, it will be at the regular price but I will earn an Amazon Affiliate commission – about enough to buy a quarter cup of Starbuck’s awful coffee.

2. Take some time to reflect, reassess, and resurrect.

Have you had questions like these bouncing around in your head? “Why am I here?” “Is this all there is?” “Is it too late to leave a footprint?”

Or the one that really stung me years ago: “Is it true that the number of people attending my funeral will largely depend on the weather?”

If so, you are at a healthy spot. This is the perfect time to respond to those healthy questions and carve out some time – alone or with a supportive partner – to reflect on what your life has amounted to. But, with an eye on the positive.

Then start asking yourself even tougher questions.

I’ll reuse the important quote I used in my 6/15/20 blog from author Laurence C. Boldt:

“All imaginative journeys are prompted by questions. The mind runs on questions. Questions form a kind of skeletal structure upon which your life is built. New questions, deeply asked, will shape a new life.”

Questions like:

  • Is there a story to my life?
  • Do I have a basic philosophy of life that is my own?
  • Do I have a purpose for the rest of my life?
  • What is my part in this grand play of life?
  • How can I make a difference?
  • What do I want to do?  What must I do?
  • What can I realistically achieve in the span of my life?

We don’t reach 60 without doing a lot of things right. We got there consciously or unconsciously using some skills that were wired into us at conception.

There is also a chance that some of those skills or talents were “barnacled over” as you dedicated yourself to “provision” rather than “aspiration” and helped build someone else’s dream with your career.

It’s a good time, if you haven’t, to consider doing some basic personality or strengths assessments (DISC, Strengthsfinders, Enneagram, etc.) to uncover or remind you of how you are wired up. Chances are fairly high that you have been operating outside of your core talents and strengths. We all do it in the interests of providing and meeting cultural expectations defined for us by the “big Ps” in our lives – parents, peers, and professors.

I finally had to acknowledge all this in my mid-sixties after leaving corporate life at 60, starting my own recruiting business and realizing that my corporate sales and marketing experience – although successful by monetary and title standards – was not ideal for how I was equipped.

I ignored the results of multiple assessments that consistently suggested that I was at my best in a learning and teaching mode. My career in sales and marketing wasn’t ideally aligned with that. Yet I forged on, yielding to cultural expectations and rejecting the input of the assessments.

For instance, I took the Strengthsfinder assessment THREE times, refusing to accept the results, which, BTW, were always consistent.  I just knew that the Gallup organization would have come to their senses by the time I took it the third time.

My venture into the recruiting business gradually moved me in the direction of these core talents and strengths to where now I feel that I am achieving the intersection of what I’m best equipped to do, what I’m good at, and a need that exists in the marketplace.

The Japanese have a term  “ikigai” – a reason for being. Or a reason to get up in the morning. I’m getting closer to “ikigai” day-by-day. But I had to shed some deep-seated cultural influences.

Based on experience and feedback from others, I’ve learned that the process of reflecting, assessing, acknowledging, and resurrecting latent talents and strengths can effectively put one on a path that will turn this extended period of life into the most productive, fulfilling and purposeful time of your life.

3. Get serious about, and take control, of your health.

Quick reality check: have you done your body and brain a lot of favors up to this point?  I didn’t think so.

I hadn’t, despite being a gym rat for 25 by the time I hit 60.  The statistics on length of life and the level of extended morbidity and early frailty amongst our general population in this third age bears out the fact that we generally do a pretty crappy job of taking care of ourselves – especially through those grinding years of accumulating stuff, titles, image.  You know what I mean – that period where we let a culture that isn’t friendly to good health dictate our lifestyles.

We can make all the grand plans we want for this new period of extended longevity. It will be meaningless if we don’t feel good.

Dr. Mario Martinez, in his book “The Mindbody Self: How Longevity is Culturally Learned and the Causes of Health Are Inherited” makes an important point when he says:

“We inherit millennia of wisdom on how to achieve optimal health. Rather than mechanical products of our genes, we are the coauthors of their expression. With few exceptions, illnesses are only genetic propensities, not inevitable disruptions waiting their time to unfold.”

In other words, we start life with a birthright of good health. Our bodies are a collection of 35 trillion cells, or thereabouts, that have somehow been kludged together into this amazing 24×7 immune system that works its butt off to keep us healthy. That’s our inheritance.

Through our culturally-influenced lifestyles, we choose to screw that up.

 

Excuse the brashness, but collectively we are very health care illiterate. We don’t know how our bodies work and what they need to carry us through life optimally.

We succumb to a lifetime of seeking comfort. convenience, and conformity. We view good health as the absence of sickness and have turned healthcare into a $35 copay experience with our doc when things skid off the tracks, within a healthcare system that only dispenses medical advice, not health advice.

Rather than adopting a lifestyle of “proactive prevention” we turn to a system designed to provide “reactive cure.”

Over 60% of early death in our culture is due to an inappropriate diet. Early death due to poor diet just passed smoking as the #1 cause of premature death!!

Yet, doctors receive no training in nutrition. So we are functioning within a healthcare system that doesn’t care much about what we eat. Or doesn’t seem to because you won’t get nutrition counseling in our “drug it or cut-it-out” system.

Couple that with a profit-driven food industry that doesn’t give a rip about our health, we are fighting countervailing forces to maintain optimal health.

That’s why, regardless of age –  and especially at 60 and beyond –  it’s important to become the CEO of your health, become literate about how your body works at the cellular level, take charge, and change to habits that will support you with good health going forward.

It’s never too late to start. It’s always too early to quit.

The five top killers in our culture – heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, dementia – have not changed in decades. These are all lifestyle diseases and all are preventable.

We have a “whole-life potential” benchmark already establish for us. We know that the body is capable of lasting 122 years and 164 days because Jeanne Calment of Paris lived that long – the longest living human on record.

Yet, on average, we fall seriously short of that benchmark, achieving only 66% of it on average.

The gap is lifestyle.

I was heavily influenced, in my 60s, by two books that helped me deepen my commitment to protecting my health, although I have been a strong health advocate and avid exerciser for over four decades. You may find them enlightening as well.

“Dare to Be 100” by Dr. Walter Bortz, semi-retired Stanford geriatric physician helped me understand why “there is no biological reason that I shouldn’t live to 100 or beyond” and what I can do to enhance my chances of getting there.

The other was “Younger Next Year: Live Strong, Fit and Sexy – Until You’re 80 and Beyond.” This perennial best-seller helped me understand how my body works at the cellular level and what those cells need to support me with good health.

Let me quote the late Dr. Henry Lodge, co-author:

“The simple fact is that we know perfectly well what to do. Some 70 percent of premature death and aging are lifestyle-related. Heart attacks, strokes, the common cancers, diabetes, most falls, fractures, and serious injuries, and many more illnesses are primarily caused by the way we live. If we had the will to do it, we could eliminate more than half of all disease in men and women over fifty. Not delay it, eliminate it.”

I’ll leave you with this guideline, also from Dr. Lodge. It’s called “Harry’s Rules” and it is a simple, hard-hitting set of rules that will enable good health and successful aging.

Harry’s Rules

Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life.

Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life.

Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life.

Spend less than you make.

Quit eating crap!

Care.

Connect and commit.

Good luck on your journey. You are about to step into the most exciting, most exhilarating, most impactful, and fulfilling time of life.

If you so choose.

Agree or disagree? We’d love to know. Scroll down and leave a comment or email me at gary@makeagingwork.com. If you aren’t on our weekly email list, you can join at www.makeagingwork.com.  It’s free – we publish a new article every Monday.

The Idea of Retirement Has Stolen Our Inner Magician. Let’s Get It Back!

“We all know that nature abhors a vacuum. The same is true of our imaginations. The Magician makes this principle work for him. Drawing a magic circle, he creates an empty space in which to work his magic. You can think of your goals as providing the boundaries of this inner circle. Within the empty spaces of this circle, your imagination or inner magician works to create the outcomes you desire. On the other hand, if we don’t give our imaginations constructive things to do, they tend to fill up with junk and recycle images of negativity and doubt. It’s up to the Hero to supply the inner Magician with challenging creative demands that will keep it constructively engaged and out of mischief. Because our imaginations abhor a vacuum, they are our best friends or our worst enemies. The true Magician makes her imagination her friend.”

Laurence G. Boldt, “Zen and the Art of Making a Living”

Where is our imagination?

I guess you can tell I like this book since I quoted Mr. Boldt extensively last week. I find it to be one of those “hidden gem” books loaded with “contrarian common-sense” applicable to my purpose (READ: it’s not for everybody) that comes more alive with each reading.

I pondered and meditated on Boldt’s paragraph this morning after allowing myself to do a mental swim in all the junk and crap that is going on around me.

I’ll bet you’ve been there. Perhaps still there. Doing that type of mental swim is never a good idea. It’s really easy to do, isn’t it?

I’m realizing I’m not being very “imaginative” when it comes to filters. How imaginative is it to flip back and forth between Fox News and MSNBC?  Which I’ve been guilty of so that I can say that I am “considerate of both sides” of the insanity that they both peddle.

Or to scan through the Denver Post over my oatmeal fully aware that I’ve just wasted 30 minutes swimming in more junk.

As I wrote about last week, while in this unimaginative channel, do I fret over riots or respirators? COVID or cops? Conspiracy theory A or conspiracy theory B? The stock market or the wet market?

This is as crazy a mash-up of insanity as ever in my eight decades on this mudball. A media field day, nirvana. And energy-sapper extraordinaire!

Nobody is coming to save us!!

Except our imagination. A sense of purpose. Undying principles.

Last week, I posed the question “Is COVID a Cataclysm or a Catalyst?” I suggested that COVID, in many ways, may be a catalyst in the form of a receding tide revealing our “nakedness.”

What is that nakedness?

  1. That we are rudderless with the loudest voices and knee-jerk decisions guiding the ship instead of common sense and a true sense of community.
  2. That a larger-than-self-purpose or spiritual quest has given way to societal conditioning, conformity, to “get-mine-now” consumerism, to “garage-door- up, garage-door-down” sense of community, to “us” versus “them” at every turn.
  3. We’ve come to expect “big government” or “big business” to save us, both of which have proven themselves deeply skilled at altruism head-fakes.
  4. That some long-standing practices have been exposed as harmful and/or fraudulent. As in a consumerist lifestyle. As in retirement!

“Anxiety is the hand-maiden of creativity”

I wish I knew who to attribute that quote to since it is so timely.

COVID-spawned anxiety is very real and ubiquitous. We can be creative within that anxiety or be crushed by it.

Here’s a dose of anxiety: fully one-third of Americans now feel they will never be able to retire. According to Yahoo Money, seven in 10 Americans expect the pandemic to hurt their retirement savings, with a fifth predicting a severe impact.

I can think of few things that can create more anxiety – aside from severe health issues – than something that futzes with our ability to retire. It would seem that there isn’t much that can dump more cortisol/adrenaline/norepinephrine into our increasingly fragile immune system than the prospect of not being able to achieve that pseudo-entitlement and to have to – oh, horrors!! – continue to work.

This should be music to our ears!

I heard you say it: What, are you nuts? Risk your readership with a direct frontal assault on this revered institution?

Nothing new here – for three years, I’ve been part of the growing crowd that is exposing traditional retirement for what it really is – a trojan horse with few upsides and a plethora of downsides.

I’m encouraged that one of the greatest catalytic impacts of COVID may be to finally put traditional self-indulgent, leisure-based retirement on life-support.

Name something less imaginative than retirement.

Let me help as you ponder the question.

  • The word came from the French verb “retirer” which means to “withdraw, go backward, retreat to a place of seclusion.”  Will you find that in your DNA? Only if you’ve tabled your imagination.
  • It’s an 85-year old concept, designed for political purposes with an arbitrary, “artificial finish line” of 65 at a time when people rarely lived to 62. Let’s spell it together:  i-r-r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t.
  • With help from the media and the product-peddling financial services industry, we’ve been convinced that “work” is a dirty four-letter word and something to jettison when in fact it turns out to be a central tenet of good mental and physical health.
  • It exploits the myth that senescence is automatic and unalterable when in fact the opposite is true.
  • Some of its most identifiable fruits are boredom, sedentary living, withdrawal from continuous learning, and ultimately “living too short and dying too long.”  Kinda like this life-model that still persists today:
  • Retirement doesn’t exist in nature and didn’t exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago. It’s yet another manipulative tool designed by man for political advantage that morphed into an “entitlement” that appeals to and exploits our decadent, lazy nature.
  • How imaginative is it to suggest one pack up their accumulated skills, talents, and experiences and trade them in for bingo, bridge, boche ball, and beach bungalows while denying society the power of that accumulated wisdom and common sense?

End of rant. The list can go on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imaginative would be to say:

I was created with unique skills and talents that I choose to continue to make available to humanity until I can no longer.

How can that not be healthy for our sagging culture?

How can that not be better for a personal biology that offers only two options – growth or decay?

How can that not be better for those behind us who are so uncertain of what lies ahead?

Wisdom and experience redeployed and not wasted, common sense resurfaced, timeless principles resurrected – somehow it just sounds more imaginative.

A “New Retirementality”, a “Victory Lap”, and a “REWIRE!”

COVID is accelerating the much-needed redefinition of what post-career, post-parenting life can be.

If you are at that life juncture, here are three books you may want to check out that do a great job of delivering imaginative “redefinition” messages along with actionable ideas to assist in the transition:

Let ‘s refind our inner magician and imaginatively reinvent our way out of this chaos.

Because no one is coming to save us!

I appreciate you and thank you for reading. I also appreciate and benefit from your feedback.  Let me know what you think with a comment below.

If you are not on the list, it’s free and easy to do so at www.makeagingwork.com.  Come join the growing tribe.