Is Your Nose Pressed Against Reality?

 

At the request of a dear friend whose wife has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I read a book entitled “Jan’s Story”.  It’s a very poignant book by Barry Peterson, acclaimed CBS reporter and foreign correspondent, about a man’s journey with his wife, Jan, a victim of early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Barry coined a phrase in the book that really grabbed and stuck with me.  He learned that he had to daily “press his nose against the reality” of the finality of his wife’s condition and its impact on his life and health.

The phrase resonated with me because it’s not something I do well in my own life, even dealing with issues of far less magnitude.  It was a not-so-subtle reminder that I, like most, wear masks, live in denial, and avoid confronting realities in my life to escape the pressure created by facing reality. For instance, that “gap” between where I am and where I really want to be.

Unaddressed realities seem to come clearer in later life as we are forced to “press our nose” against them and make major decisions while facing a shorter horizon.

 

I see this frequently as I engage potential candidates regarding executive or middle-management opportunities in my recruiting business.  Because most of the positions call for deep experience and expertise in a given area, I’m often reaching out to professionals who have entered the “second half” or “third stage” of their lives – likely facing fewer days ahead than behind.

It doesn’t take long or too many questions to determine if a candidate is in denial about some of the realities of what lies ahead for them in this second half.  Some have been granted “early, unintentional, temporary retirement” and, in some cases, are getting desperate for a job.  Imminent unemployment is a reality for some as their corporate home morphs around them.  Others are just restless and feeling that “stirring” called “is this all there is?”

On occasion, some of these candidates become coaching clients as the result of our dialog.

If I’m effective in my coaching relationship with them, I am able to help them “press their nose” against some unacknowledged realities.

Here are a few of the realities I see that people over 50 aren’t facing as they enter this late-life transition:

  1. Corporate employment is now the riskiest place to be. With a few exceptions, a company’s claim of loyalty to their employees is lip service.  Given the choice between the one-time expense of a robot or piece of software and an ongoing outlay to an employee to do that work, it becomes an easy bottom-line decision.  Stir in the specter of mergers or acquisitions and the inevitable “RIF’s” and the risk of not “pressing the nose” against this reality can be a tough pill to swallow for a dedicated corporate employee.

 In my “reinvention” coaching, I am direct in my message that the last place to look for security today is in the corporate fold.  If you are over 50 and have been downsized but intend to return to the corporate ranks, be prepared for two shocks.  Unless your skills are current, exceptionally deep, and unique, you can count on: (1) an extended search, especially if self-directed (think one month for every $10k of salary); (2) your chances of duplicating your previous salary being pretty slim.

  1. Pace and magnitude of change. There is one guaranteed constant in life and that is change.   The pace of change has never been faster and more profound than it is today, fueled by digital technology. As boomers and pre-boomers, we are particularly vulnerable to the eventuality of technology disrupting what we do.
  2. You are (most likely) already obsolete. I recall coming across a startling statistic a couple of years ago that revealed that over 40% of college graduates never open another book after graduation.  If you are over 50, you were indoctrinated with the linear-life plan I call the 20-40-20 plan that looks like this.  Learning after school didn’t go much beyond what the job required and the pace of change, until digitization arrived, was mostly modest and manageable without much skills upgrade.  Today, new technologies are rapidly outstripping and obsoleting many skills and may be dropping your value in the marketplace.  Gaps will be revealed quickly in the job search process.  It’s imperative in today’s job market to stay current and continuously upgrade your skill set to be in step with technology developments.
  3. Your goals for a traditional retirement are  – and should be – caput.  Average retirements savings for Americans reaching the traditional retirement age of 65 is $95,776 according to the Economic Policy Institute.  Healthcare cost for a couple retiring in 2016 at age 65 living to average lifespan, over and above Medicare coverage: $250-400,000 according to Nationwide Insurance. Do the math.  Still, we cling to this 20th-century artifact called retirement and strive to hit a politically-driven artificial finish line to achieve something that is unnatural – pulling back, withdrawing.  Then we discover that it keeps us from realizing our full life potential and robs our culture of a gold mine of talent, creativity, and wisdom. Fortunately, more and more boomers are “pressing their nose” against the reality of this failed 100-year old model and abandoning the “vocation to vacation” retirement model for one of continued contribution.

Are you at, or approaching, late mid-life and haven’t cracked a book or taken a course in the last 5-10 years that would bring your skills more in line with emerging technologies in your field?  Have you “pressed your nose against the reality” of that necessity?

I’ll simply pass on the warning, as a recruiter and career coach having dealt with a number of 50+ professionals in that rut, the re-entry into employment under those conditions is a b****!

Example:  An over-50 coaching client of mine was forced to “press his nose against reality” recently when he received a hard message from a recruiter he had contacted about a job that he really wanted.  It was, on paper, a logical match, in the field he had been “riffed” from 10 months earlier.

The veteran recruiter laid it out succinctly and diplomatically for him:  his clients won’t give him a look for two primary reasons: (1) extended unemployment with no part-time or lesser employment or volunteer work to show initiative and to maintain skills; (2) very limited skills- upgrade training in last five years of employment and no effort during his unemployment.

Fortunately, this gentleman has learned a hard lesson and landed on his feet.  He has taken a somewhat risky straight commission sales position in a related field while he continues his search for his ideal position.    It took moving some ego aside, but he will put himself in a role that will help him stay current, polish his skills and better position himself with employers and recruiters as his search continues.

Disruption is as given

Peter Diamandis, is an M.D. entrepreneur with degrees in molecular genetics and aerospace engineering who has started 15 different companies.  In podcast #1  of a series entitled “Exponential Wisdom” that he does with Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach (available free on I-tunes), he stated:

“Every company, every product, every service will become disrupted, obsoleted. You will either disrupt yourself or someone else will.”

Where does that leave you relative to reality as you look forward?

How susceptible is your company or industry to disruption by digital technology?  And in what ways?  Disruption doesn’t necessarily mean dissolution.  Often it is a case of some new types of jobs being created as some are destroyed.  Have you positioned yourself, educationally and politically, to move into those new roles?

How susceptible are your skills to digital disruption? Are you willing to re-don the learning hat and protect yourself against personal obsolescence?

Do some research on what professions are “safe”, if there is such a thing. Hint: my hair stylist and plumber don’t seem at all concerned.

Here’s an article posted on LinkedIn that weighs in on the subject.

What reality do you need to press your nose against? How willing are you to take the steps necessary to deal with that reality?  Let me know your thoughts on this broad topic.  What have you been doing to stay ahead of the disruption curve?

Are You “Flunking” Retirement- or About To?

 

Flunking retirement?  Now there’s a strange concept.  How does one “flunk” out of one of life’s most coveted and cherished prizes?

I first came across the concept five years ago when I read a book entitled “Don’t Retire, REWIRE!” by Jeri Sedlar and Rick Miners, former executive recruiters and a husband and wife team with 25+ years of experience working in the area of personal and professional transition.

Following hundreds of interactions with people in late life transitions and actual interviews with hundreds of pre-retirees and retirees, they discovered that the old adage “if you fail to plan, then plan to fail” comes into play in moving into and through retirement.  It turns out, a significant number of people do, in fact, flunk retirement.

Outlooks and attitudes toward retirement differed amongst pre-retirees they interviewed and fell into one of four categories.  Perhaps you’ll see yourself in one of these:

  1. Those who were excited and knew what they were getting into.
  2. Those who were excited but had no idea what they were getting into.
  3. Those who were panicked and had no idea how to get in control.
  4. Those who were angry and not physically or mentally ready but being forced into it.

My general observation would say that #2 dominates.  There is research out there that indicates 70% of retirees go into retirement with no semblance of a non-financial plan.

Doing it right

Some of this was borne out this week when I had coffee with some good friends, a couple I hadn’t connected with for over a decade.  I’ll call them Carol and Ron.  Carol had retired four years ago from her sales jobs with the same telecom company after 32 years (that is not a misprint), the last 4 or 5 of which was pure agony.  Yes, she did it for the money – you probably would too if you were a consistent and award-winning six-figure earner.

She is 63.  Ron is 64 and a successful sales rep in a different industry. Ron is not yet retired and is negotiating an exit plan with his company.  He, unlike most his age, is in the driver’s seat.  His company really needs him and doesn’t want him to retire.

I wanted to talk with them because I knew them to be disciplined and diligent in everything they do, especially when it came to the financial side of their life.  I remembered they had worked with a financial planner for many years.

Carol and Ron are poster children for how to do it right.   Plan.  Save.  Get good advice.  Diversify.  Pay off the house. Don’t overspend. No debt.  Honestly, it was pretty humbling to see what they have done and hear how they’ve done it since I fall seriously short of it all.

Sitting there in a million dollar home, beautifully and comfortably upgraded, it was apparent that they are happy with what they had achieved on the financial side of their life.

Is that all there is?

As we discussed what full retirement for the two of them is going to look like, I detected a bit of a chink in the armor.  The conversation didn’t go much beyond looking forward to more travel.  Oh, and more painting on her part, a hobby she took up upon her retirement. And probably more golf for Ron.

They, for the most part, do the right things health-wise (except for Ron’s admitted attachment to beef) so they acknowledge the possibility of them both realizing a “longevity bonus”.  Their financial planner has wisely helped them plan out their finances to age 90.  I think they’ll get there.  But I’m not sure they had really factored that into the vision for their retirement.

What I didn’t hear was much beyond pure leisure in that impending retired life.

And I get that.  It’s normal and makes perfect sense. That diligence, that discipline, those years of hard work deserves a return.  And what better payback than to see the world, go where few are able to go. And to kick back and pursue deferred personal passions.

Until it all turns into “is this all there is?”

The world will benefit

I think I know this couple and what is going to happen.  They are going to flunk traditional retirement.  And that’s a good thing.  Because when they do, they, and we, will benefit.

This isn’t a La-z-boy couple. And I don’t think they are going to be a “world-traveler-look-at-my-photo-album” couple forever either.  They are too diligent, too intelligent, too disciplined and too forward thinking to withdraw into the margins of life and society.

Be it three years, five years, I predict that failing at traditional retirement will happen for them.   And we will all benefit because they will show up in meaningful service to their fellow man, in some way, some form,  resurrecting the talents, skills, and experiences they have acquired and turning them back to work on behalf of society.

The form that this takes will be unique to them and is part of the adventure of what I’ll call “second half discovery and reinvention.”

An Attitude Instrument

I see the possibility that Ron and Carol will emerge as part of the growing ranks of the “forever young, forever passionate, and forever engaged”.  This is an attitude that Mitch Anthony saw more prevalent as he did the research for his seminal book “The New Retirementality”.  In these energetic second-halfers, he isolated five internal focuses and patterns steering their lives safely “through the existential seas of fulfilled and pleasurable living day by day.”

He calls these the Vitamin C’s of Successful Aging:

  • Vitamin C1 – Connectivity: the most powerful predictor of life satisfaction right after retirement was not health or wealth but the breadth of a person’s social network.
  • Vitamin C2 – Challenge: the brain is a muscle that atrophies. Beyond 50, we can put a finger in the dike of Alzheimer’s and dementia by having “riddles to ponder, problems to solve, and things to fix.”
  • Vitamin C3- Curiosity: curiosity guarantees “a pulse in the brain and a reason to keep our bodies healthy.” He who no longer wants to learn should order the tombstone.
  • Vitamin C4 – Creativity: we can be creative and keep the powers of observation alive until the end.  There is no end point to creativity.  We just have to be “curious, intrigued, expressive and intentional.”
  • Vitamin C5 – Charity: studies have confirmed the ameliorative effects of charitable living on quality and longevity of life.

No one should feel bad about flunking a retirement built on a 125-year old false premise.  Ron and Carol certainly won’t. Let’s hope more and more people will fail.  Let’s fight the comparison-driven desire for comfort and inactivity, rise up against our youth-oriented culture and help prop this country back up by resurrecting the energy, vitality, creativity, and wisdom underneath the grey and wrinkles.

I suspect the theme here is upsetting to some – or perhaps many –  because traditional retirement is so coveted and entrenched in our thinking.  I’d love to hear from those opposed as well as those who agree.  Scroll down and leave a comment and/or trip over to our Make Aging Work Facebook page and help us with a Like.

It’s Time to Get Real About Our Lifestyle – It’s Killing Us!!

“Americans are retiring later, dying sooner and sicker in-between”

That’s the headline to an article published in the Standard-Examiner on October 23, 2017.  My thanks to fellow re-invention coach, blogger and author John Tarnoff of Boomer Reinvention for posting it on LinkedIn.

According to the Society of Actuaries (who could argue with such an exciting group?), the meteoric rise in U.S. average life expectancy may have begun to recede.  According to their research, age-adjusted mortality rate – a measure of the number of deaths per year – rose 1.2 percent from 2014 to 2015. That’s the first year-over-year increase since 2005, and only the second rise greater than 1 percent since 1980.

Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised.  After all, over 100,000+ years, we increased from an average life expectancy of 18 (Neanderthal) to 30 (Roman centurion) to 47 (your great-great grandma) to 80 today.  Graphically, that looks like this – in just 100 years, life expectancy increased more than in all of human history.

 

Graph source: Ken Dychtwald, Agewave.com

Don’t all good things have an endpoint?

While the article is a bit dismaying it’s far from revelatory.  I’m inclined to invoke the overworked cliché “the chickens are coming home to roost”.

We’ve gotten really good at adopting lifestyles that are killing us slowly – and early.

Following our phenomenal success in stamping out myriad infectious diseases, throttling infant mortality, cleaning up our air and water, improving food and water quality and distribution and improving education, we now succeed in finding ways to kill ourselves early in the face of all that we know about how to do the opposite.

Bio-scientific and biomedical research of the last 30 years have provided us with more than we need to know to continue to extend our average life expectancy and move toward our full biological potential of 120+ years.

Discoveries of how our bodies and brains function, down to the cellular level, leave us with little excuse for not extending our lives – or to at least keep them healthier as we age.   But we seem to persist in ignoring the surprisingly simple recommendations that emerge from the research.

A receding life expectancy is hand-in-hand with a number of errant lifestyle signals that are emerging.  To wit:

  1. Eighty percent of American adults do not meet the government’s national physical activity recommendations for aerobic activity and muscle strengthening. Around 45 percent of adults are not sufficiently active to achieve health benefits. (Robert Wood Johnson Foundation).
  2. More than two-thirds (68.8 percent) of adults are considered to be overweight or obese. More than one-third (35.7 percent) of adults are considered to be obese. More than 1 in 20 (3 percent) have extreme obesity. Almost 3 in 4 men (74 percent) are considered to be overweight or obese.
  3. The American Diabetes Association reports that the number of people who have diabetes increased by 382 percent from 1988 to 2014.
  4. The CDC recently reported that as many as one-third of the U.S. population may be pre-diabetic and not know it.
  5. The weight of the average American increased by 15 pounds over the last 20 years – but we didn’t get any taller.

So what is a lazy, overweight, stressed-out, fast-food addict to do?

Nothing complicated, really.  Actually, pretty simple.  Not to be confused with easy. Difficult because it requires change and we don’t like change, especially the older we get.

How complicated is this health strategy?

  • Lose weight. No, no – don’t diet.  Diets don’t work.  If they did, why would we spend $35 billion every year on the latest and greatest?   Get the fat out and the plants in. Start there.
  • Get your heart rate up into your exercise range every day.  Simple formula: 220 minus your age times .65 and .85.  That’s the range you should take your heart for at least 30 minutes a day, preferably six days a week.  Sustained weight loss only comes when you combine diet and exercise.  One without the other won’t get it done.
  • Know your biomarkers. Get with your doc, get a thorough physical and find out – and understand – your key health bio-markers and where they should be and take corrective action if they are out of whack.  What are the biomarkers?  At a minimum, know where you are and where you should be with the following (most of these should come from pre-physical blood panels):
    • Blood pressure
    • HDL, LDL, triglycerides and total cholesterol
    • Glucose (blood sugar)
    • Uric acid
    • Calcium, phosphorous, potassium and sodium
    • Bilirubin, total protein, and albumin (liver function indicators)
    • BUN (blood urea nitrogen) and creatinine – kidney function
    • Waist size (under 40” or men, 35” for women)
    • PSA (men)
    • TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone)
    • Homocysteine (amino acid associated with vascular disease, Alzheimer’s, colon cancer and osteoporosis
    • C-reactive protein – related to inflammation

  • Reduce the stress in your life. The CDC claims that 90% of doctor’s visits are, in some ways, related to problems brought on by stress.  Stress releases harmful chemicals from our endocrine system such as cortisol and adrenaline.  That system evolved to protect us from saber-toothed tigers and warring clans.  Unless you still have those in your life (or equivalents), seriously consider finding ways to stop the release of those harmful, insidious chemicals. What works:
    • Meditation/mindfulness – get alone with your breathing for 15 minutes a day, and periodically throughout the day as stress builds
    • Exercise – surprise, surprise. Hands down the best stress reliever.  A twofer – stress relief and a better circulatory system and physique.
    • Stop comparing – comparison to others or temporal standards creates stress. Keeping up with the Joneses is a life-shortener.  Find out who you really are and be it.   Build your own dreams, not somebody else’s.

We can be better than this!

Our lack of health care literacy, laziness, and capitulation to convenience sustains the $35 billion diet and the $26 billion health and fitness club industries year after year.  Both see a big surge in revenue at the beginning of each year. They know its coming and they know the surge will wane and circle back around again the next year.  They are both business models built on our naivete and inability to discipline ourselves.

There’s another industry – in fact, the largest on the planet – that thrives based on the same human behavior.  That is our health-care –I’m sorry, our disease-care – system.  It’s built on repair, not prevention.  It doesn’t strive to turn off the spigot but rather to mop up the water, often when it’s too late.  Pretty simple solutions – drug it or cut it out.

Would it be too “pollyannish” to propose we help disrupt all three industries by taking charge of our own health?  Yeah, that’s a pretty radical, wasted thought.  But, then again, is it?  I’m trying to do my part.  Hope you join me.

No doubt you have some opinions in this area.  Leave me a comment, let me know your thoughts.