May 2019 – Make Aging Work

Welcome to “Make Aging Work” – An Update

May 27, 2019

This past week, I finally got to a task that I’ve delayed for too long – an update to the “About” page on my website. So I’m grabbing a week to share the update with my blog readership. If you’ve been there, the change isn’t big. If you haven’t, I hope it will help put my vision/quest into clear perspective for you. and encourage you to stay along for, and contribute to, the ride.

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Welcome to Make Aging Work!

I think I know why you are here. You’ve blown past the 50-year threshold. You’re coming to grips with the fact that there are fewer days ahead than behind. There’s a growing uneasiness in the gut.

Perhaps you are feeling unfulfilled, drifting, without a clear purpose for your life.
Maybe you can sense that your 30-year career may soon be in jeopardy (merger/acquisition, youth movement, technology disruption, new management, etc.).
Or even worse, that shoe has fallen and you are unemployed in a very tough job market for older workers.
Maybe you are gainfully, safely employed but realizing that a dream of “traditional retirement” is out of reach because of poor savings habits or erosion of what you did accumulate and know that you are going to have to work beyond the “normal” working age.
Or maybe you have wisely concluded that traditional retirement is a 20th-century relic, an unnatural occurrence in nature and a guaranteed path to a shorter, unfulfilled life. You want to “live long, die short”, healthy, productive and purposeful to the end.
Maybe it’s the reality that a legacy and leaving a meaningful footprint is slipping away as the time horizon shortens.
Or perhaps you are one of the few that has a healthy nest egg and have entered into “early retirement” and want to ignite your entrepreneurial fire, start your own business or in some other way continue to contribute and be of service.

Hello, I’m Gary Allen Foster, executive recruiter, retirement and career transition coach, writer, and speaker.

Believe me. Whatever category fits, you are not alone!

I’ve had the opportunity to work with folks in all of the above categories, all moving into and through the “third age” of life – that uncertain, uncharted space between middle-age (end of career and/or end of parenting) and true old age.

Chasing the linear life plan

I’m an over-75 “portfolio career” guy. The father of two and grandfather of three, I’m approaching a golden anniversary with a wonderful lady who deserves more than what she got with me.

I escaped from rural Wyoming and traversed the country and several industries in various sales and sales management positions across 45+ years. I drank the traditional linear-life-model kool-aid in college. You know, the 20-40-20-year plan, of education, work/family and leisure that was – and still is – drilled into us by our parents, educational system, and the financial services industry – get a degree, get a job, get a family, get a house, get two cars, get a pension, get a gold watch, get a coffin.

My manufacturer colored me with a pretty deep attitude of skepticism and iconoclasm. On my journey – around my mid-forties – it led me to question this traditional linear-life concept, helped along by life experiences and the insights of the pioneers in personal development such as Earl Nightingale, Dennis Waitley, Brian Tracey, Tony Robbins, and others.

The message seemed consistent: those who lived the longest and achieved extraordinary levels of success, freedom, and contribution in their lives didn’t follow the “wisdom of the masses.” They were outliers who operated outside the traditional guideposts and never left the creative and contributory process.

This influence, some personal and professional experiences and my discomfort in the confining environs of corporate life led me to succumb to the allure of owning and running my own business at age 60 – a bit late for a major life transition, so says conventional wisdom.

I made a voluntary exit from a successful telecom sales career of 17 years to become an independent recruiter, a 15-year journey that has had more than its share of highs and lows.

Entrepreneur adventure

The move to “entrepreneurship” was exciting and exhilarating with its freedom and control – for about six months! Then reality hit!

I overestimated – as most aspirants do – my entrepreneurial skills and equally underestimated what it takes to start a small business, especially as a solo operator.

The recruiting business helped me, however, develop a deeper understanding of what makes others tick – or not. And it unveiled for me a passion and purpose that corporate life and the linear life indoctrination had covered over.

That passion is helping people find answers to difficult later-life questions. Not because I have all the answers. I’ve learned that everyone has the answers already inside and just need someone to help nudge them out.

My 75+ years of life and business experiences, along with a voracious appetite for reading all things involving personal growth, has helped equip me to be a catalyst to help people hatch the potential they have been roosting on most of their lives.

What’s your rulebook?

I’ve concluded we take life too seriously. And we play much of it with the wrong rules – rules from a societal/cultural rule book that brings us to “shoulda, woulda, coulda” thinking. Rules that are stacked against us being able to realize our full potential.

Nowhere does this become more apparent than when we reach that “over-the-hill” plateau of 50 and realize that we likely have more days behind than ahead.

Perspectives on lots of things begin to evolve, none more profound than the aforementioned classic “What is life and why am I here?” We fear what would be said – or not said – at our eulogy. We begin to accept that the weather will be the main determinant of how many attend our funeral. Our answer to the question “What is my legacy?” is way too close to “insignificant”.

A quixotic mission

None of this may be important to you. But I’m guessing if you’ve read this far, something is resonating. My thing is perhaps a quixotic mission of helping folks over 50 adopt a new perspective on how to finish strong, to finish with purpose, to live longer, live better and live with purpose, to be willing to reinvent themselves. In other words, to Make Aging Work and Live Big and Age Little.

I help mid-lifers navigate a very tricky job market or to pivot their careers to something that is profitable as well as purposeful.

I help pre-retirees and early retirees avoid the pitfalls of an unplanned retirement and design a “third act” life filled with purpose and fulfillment.

I speak and write publicly to the issues of better health, greater longevity, and purposeful retirement because I believe we need to elevate our awareness of the aging process and be a stronger voice against the negative stereotypes of aging. And we need to stop allowing the deeply ingrained concept of “traditional, labor-to-leisure” retirement to take us down the path of mental, physical and spiritual deterioration that shortens our lives.

That’s the purpose behind this blog and the speaking I do on these topics.

Retirement or un-retirement? Landing or take-off?

Shockingly, more than 50% of Boomers are financially unprepared to take traditional retirement. For those that can, 70% enter retirement with absolutely no non-financial retirement plan.

Fortunately, we are seeing a growing wave of “third-agers” who are more interested in “rewiring” than “retiring”, viewing their second half as a chance for another take-off, not a landing.

This site is intended to be a resource for finding answers to the myriad questions that arise as we move into what can be an exciting second growth period of our life.

Rough sailing ahead

Our demographic faces significant challenges ahead: a pervasive youth-oriented culture, rampant ageism, a horribly broken healthcare system, general healthcare illiteracy, government disarray, profit-driven corporate deafness, eroded retirement accounts and continued acceptance of harmful 20th-century myths about the aging process.

A collective voice

I believe strongly that the answers to these challenges lie in the collective knowledge, experiences, and wisdom of our demographic.

I want this site to be both a voice that you want to hear and a valuable resource that will help address these issues of health, longevity, “money and meaning” in later life, “purpose and profitability” in the second half, and intentional living to the end.

Your input, feedback, and requests for ideas, answers, and solutions are what will make it that.

I look forward to active engagement with you and becoming a valued resource.

And the Oscar for a Fulfilling Third Age Goes to – – – –

May 20, 2019

Image by analogicus from Pixabay

I’ve had some pretty deep conversations over the last six months with some successful, deeply-skilled execs who are looking at, or are early into, the retirement phase of their lives. Each conversation is an adventure, each with uniqueness and depth that challenges my listening skills and my ability to inject something original or stimulating into the conversation.

Occasionally, I don’t add much to the conversation and I come away richer with the coaching role having been somewhat reversed. When I remember to turn my humility meter up and move Mr. Ego aside, I end up growing.

Most of these conversations happen because these folks were referred to me or they found me because I have hung out my “retirement coach” shingle. I really don’t like the moniker so much because I’m not a fan of retirement as it has been defined and drilled into us for the last half-century. But I stick with the distasteful (and confusing, for most) title because the entrenchment of the word retirement is so deep that I can’t expect it to be easily dislodged.

I toyed with different titles/brands that would be more appropriate for my quest and world-view on this topic. Like “plan now for your post-career life before it kicks your ass coach” but it was too tough to come up with a logo – and try getting that on a business card.

If I could pinpoint some common themes that come from these stimulating conversations, three come to mind:

Most have their financial s**t together, having been advised by their all-knowing, all-prescient financial advisors (tongue inserted in cheek as I write) that they can now “retire” and not have to be concerned about their income going forward.
They are fearful, despite their advisor’s advice, of seeing that sumptuous portfolio go backward by even one nickel. In other words, they, like most, are more fearful of loss than motivated by gain.
The road map into this phase of their lives is shrouded in fog. Or, as one recently-retired hospital CEO told me, “it’s fuzzy out there.”

Despite their successful track records, their performance under fire in high-stress environments, their ability to direct and inspire large groups of people and their ability to plan and achieve against those plans, nearly all these folks carry a significant level of uncertainty about “what’s next” for them, post-career.

To the person, they don’t need me to tell them that 30 years of golf, pickle-ball, bingo, bunko, or boche-ball will get old and lead to an early demise.

An Oscar for O-S-C-R

Just this morning, I had a very uplifting conversation with a freshly-retired hospital CEO referred to me because he was prime, according to the referrer, to have a “retirement conversation”, whatever that meant.

Following 30+ years of running hospitals, this exec decided, at 63, to voluntarily hang up his cleats, primarily because he was burned out and concerned about the impact of his job on his health and his marriage.

He too had been advised by his financial planner that he is “OK”. I did sense this achiever was not totally comfortable with that prediction but proceeded nonetheless.

What I found different with this exec from most I talk with is that he was able to articulate a plan involving four different projects he wanted to undertake in this next phase, all built around the skills and experience from his 30 years of leadership and problem-solving. They included hospital CEO mentoring, public speaking, a member on 2-3 boards, strategy consulting to 3-5 mid-sized hospitals.

In addition to this, he is taking his health more seriously (pre-diabetic, he has lost 30 pounds since retiring) and he and his wife are doing more things together, including periodic trips to Kansas City and Indianapolis to visit/babysit new grandkids. They are also resurrecting some other travel plans that have been long-delayed.

As I listened and applauded this ex-exec for his forward thinking, I was reminded of something written by Mitch Anthony in his book “The New Retirementality” where he said (I’m paraphrasing slightly):

“Millions are in a mad rush to get to – – the sidelines. Many of us, however, have already seen enough of our parents’ and forerunners’ retirement scenarios to know that this is not the life for us. We have figured out that our lives will be full of challenge, relevance, stimulation, and occupational adventure.”

I like those four nouns at the end. That’s what this exec is doing. I moved the nouns around and came up with an acronym for which I can start awarding an Oscar for post-career/third age planning – Occupational adventure; Stimulation; Challenge; Relevance – O-S-C-R.

So I have my first Oscar recipient. He doesn’t know he’s received the award – or that it even exists (it didn’t until I had the conversation this morning). He signed up for my blog and maybe he will recognize he is the recipient if he reads today’s blog. If not, maybe I’ll find time to get creative and craft up an Oscar-type graphic and surprise him with it.

I’ll keep it in reserve for the few others that I encounter that have ventured into the fog confident that something will happen – something more than a park bench on the sidelines with an occasional pickle-ball match or 49 hours of G-o-T and other assorted TV gems.

I’m looking for Oscar nominees. Let me know if you know of any. Or volunteer yourself if you think you fit.

A Story of Faith, Patience and Grace

May 12, 2019

Don Varey didn’t know his career was a lemon until he was forced to turn it into lemonade.

Don was a customer of mine 20 years ago. I was a National Account Manager for MCI/Worldcom (remember them? Bernie Ebbers, Enron era, cowboys and charlatans galore) and Don was an IT Manager for my largest account, a large, well-known Denver-based company.

Don was my favorite customer: likable, knowledgeable, doer, supportive.

I left the craziness of Worldcom just before it went “poof” and I lost touch with Don. When we reconnected, as a result of him reaching out to me as a recruiter because his job had been eliminated, I found out that the dozen or so years that transpired had been very good to Don, culturally speaking.

He had moved up the ranks to the department’s top spot as VP, Information Technology.

High profile, high intensity, high salary, high stress.

Until, one day, on short notice, it wasn’t.

Seems new ownership and top management had their own person in mind for his job. A younger, lower-priced model.

Heard that one before?

Don was on the street in his mid- 50’s, no severance. Funny thing, lifestyle overhead doesn’t stop when the paycheck suddenly does.

Another mid-life casualty of M&A and ageism.

I recall a coffee meeting at Panera shortly after his termination to kick around whether me helping with career transition coaching made sense. Don forged ahead on his own. We reconnected by phone a few times following that meeting and it was obvious that the big title, high salary and some gray in the beard was making it tough to come anywhere close to what he had before.

Job search scorecard

No surprise, Don kept meticulous records during his 7 ½ month search:

Applications submitted: 239
Interviews: 10 (mostly phone interviews, including conversations with recruiters)
Networking meetings: lost count; significant contribution to Starbucks and Panera bottom line.
Participation in executive outplacement group: good people, little help.
Offers: goose egg; nada; nil; nein; zip.

If you’ve never been in an executive job search in your 50’s or later while being “gainfully unemployed”, you might be inclined to scoff at those numbers and say “this guy didn’t know how to network/interview/sell himself, etc.”

You would be wrong.

I see it a lot. Don was experiencing a malady common to seasoned execs at that age and salary threshold.

Don shared that the many, many hours, days, weeks, months of applying for jobs, interviews and receiving rejections really worked on his psyche, kicked his tendency to worry into high gear and brought him to lows he had never experienced. These were the hardest and darkest months of his life.

His wife, Diana, became concerned that there was no joy in his life – this is a man with deep faith.

And then Montrose happened!

For you flatlanders and non-U.S. readers, Montrose is this terrific town of 22,000 on the “western slope” of Colorado.

I know the town, having been there several times to visit the Montrose hospital, a client of mine. I have felt for years that Montrose is one of the best-kept secrets in Colorado. Surrounded by Colorado’s most beautiful mountains, an hour from Telluride skiing, fly-fishing in your backyard, several highly-rated golf courses in town or close by and just generally a clean and very friendly community.

A photo from Don and Diana’s backyard

I was shocked three years ago to learn that Don had applied for and accepted a position as the Information Technology Director for Montrose County, a county with fewer people than the Denver suburb he and his wife, Diana, had left.

Right in his technology sweet spot; not exactly a resume enhancer (culturally speaking, of course).

He seemed happy when I contacted him a year or so into the job. When I reached out to him again just this month, that “happy” had evolved to “ecstatic”.

That “ecstatic” might be hard for most of us to comprehend because the job involved a 75% salary cut and a “downgrade” to a relatively “plain Jane” title (culturally speaking, of course).

The huge salary cut, fortunately, still left them at a salary that supports a comfortable lifestyle in this smaller, less expensive community.

A powerful “second half” story

Don and Diana’s story has “feel good” throughout.

Don is satisfying a long-held interest in community and long-term strategic development. He’s now checked that box. He’s involved in Economic Development, opportunity zone, and Social Impact community planning projects; he sits on the historical landmark board. More community involvement to come.
The positive social impact of this new phase has added to their mental health. They’ve deepened their church involvement – Don leads a men’s bible study; they are involved in youth ministry; Diana does a bible study in a homeless shelter.
High stress to no stress. Don is sleeping through the night – a new experience.
Quality of life has gone up by “several magnitudes.”

Retirement? Maybe, maybe not.

I asked Don what their views were about retirement. He emailed his response from Denver prior to them boarding a flight to Maui.

Not surprisingly, their views of “retirement” have changed since Montrose happened. Years ago, he and Diana (a breast cancer survivor) had planned to retire at 65 and stayed committed to that goal financially. It’s interesting to note that were they to retire at 65, they could do so at a higher monthly income than what they have now, even planning in healthcare costs.

But it doesn’t sound like it’s going to happen that way. I’ll let Don’s own words sum it up:

“Given our current situation, where we live, how much I enjoy what I do and the ability we have to contribute to our community, both through my job and through our volunteering at various organizations, I intend to continue to work for as long as I feel I am making a significant contribution to the County. I love working for the County and making a significant difference both within my official job responsibilities, but also just with my involvement with all aspects of County Government. As long as I can add significant value, I intend to continue working. My job responsibilities may expand beyond IT over the next year or so which excites me greatly as well. You know what they say, “When you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life’. That’s me right now.”

Montrose gained. The Vareys gained by setting aside cultural expectations, comparisons, competition and are proving that mental, physical and spiritual health blossom when a servant’s mindset takes hold. Shoulda, woulda, coulda disappears. Life takes on a daily meaning, lives are touched and transformed and second-half wisdom takes root.

The impact of being an outlier is once again confirmed.

And a community and a family get better.

The Importance of Work in Retirement – A Video

May 3, 2019

Reid Stone is a friend and fellow retirement coach. He extended me the honor of inviting me to be the first guest on his newly launched podcast at his home base website www.mylifesencore.com.