Oops. I Screwed Up!

Well, I screwed up.

This week’s post is going out next week. I hit the wrong send button in Mailchimp at midnight last night, obviously in a fog from a long day.

So, I’m filling in this week with a funny (as opposed to the usual run of unfunny stuff you are so kind to read).

I just wrapped up a season of golf playing in a senior men’s golf league. This is a seriously geratric league and, on Wednesday mornings, is the largest concentration of artificial knees, hips, and 55″ waistlines in the Denver metro area.

Good group of guys. No serious golf prowess is demonstrated between 7 a.m. and noon on league day.

I’m a poster child for poor golf. Despite playing over 30 rounds this summer, practicing a couple days a week, I didn’t move my handicap one iota.

Clubs are in timeout – and I’ve got my Wednesday’s back.

I’m admonished by my wife (and some friends) for being too serious about wanting to get better.

You know, the bit about “just enjoying nature and being in the outdoors.” To which I say, if that’s your thing, try bird watching.

Golf is intentionally designed to weed out the bird watchers and drag in guys like me with the ridiculous notion that they can get really good at the game.

I remain undettered in my commitment to shoot my age. I know it’s achievable but it means I will still need to be able to swing the club at age 100 because that’s where my score has been stuck for years now.

So, as a goodbye to the golf season and to fill in for my posting mess-up, I’m sharing this collection of exchanges that have been detected between golfer and caddy.

Enjoy. I don’t think you have to be a golfer to laugh a little at this.

Number:10
Golfer: “I think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”

Number: 9

Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Number: 8
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes . . . You miss the ball much closer now.”

Number: 7
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”

Number: 6
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so . . .that would be too much of a coincidence.”

Number: 5
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”

Number: 4
Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “It’s very good – personally, I prefer golf.”

Number : 3
Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: “The way you play, it’s a sin on any day.”

Number: 2
Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

And the Number: 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”