And the Oscar for a Fulfilling Third Age Goes to – – – –

Image by analogicus from Pixabay

I’ve had some pretty deep conversations over the last six months with some successful, deeply-skilled execs who are looking at, or are early into, the retirement phase of their lives.  Each conversation is an adventure, each with uniqueness and depth that challenges my listening skills and my ability to inject something original or stimulating into the conversation.

Occasionally, I don’t add much to the conversation and I come away richer with the coaching role having been somewhat reversed.  When I remember to turn my humility meter up and move Mr. Ego aside, I end up growing.

Most of these conversations happen because these folks were referred to me or they found me because  I have hung out my “retirement coach” shingle.  I really don’t like the moniker so much because I’m not a fan of retirement as it has been defined and drilled into us for the last half-century.  But I stick with the distasteful (and confusing, for most) title because the entrenchment of the word retirement is so deep that I can’t expect it to be easily dislodged.

I toyed with different titles/brands that would be more appropriate for my quest and world-view on this topic.  Like “plan now for your post-career life before it kicks your ass coach” but it was too tough to come up with a logo – and try getting that on a business card.

If I could pinpoint some common themes that come from these stimulating conversations, three come to mind:

1. Most have their financial s**t together, having been advised by their all-knowing, all-prescient financial advisors (tongue inserted in cheek as I write) that they can now “retire” and not have to be concerned about their income going forward.
2. They are fearful, despite their advisor’s advice, of seeing that sumptuous portfolio go backward by even one nickel. In other words, they, like most, are more fearful of loss than motivated by gain.
3. The road map into this phase of their lives is shrouded in fog. Or, as one recently-retired hospital CEO told me, “it’s fuzzy out there.”

Despite their successful track records, their performance under fire in high-stress environments, their ability to direct and inspire large groups of people and their ability to plan and achieve against those plans, nearly all these folks carry a significant level of uncertainty about “what’s next” for them, post-career.

To the person, they don’t need me to tell them that 30 years of golf, pickle-ball, bingo, bunko, or boche-ball will get old and lead to an early demise.

An Oscar for O-S-C-R

Just this morning, I had a very uplifting conversation with a freshly-retired hospital CEO referred to me because he was prime, according to the referrer, to have a “retirement conversation”, whatever that meant.

Following 30+ years of running hospitals, this exec decided, at 63, to voluntarily hang up his cleats, primarily because he was burned out and concerned about the impact of his job on his health and his marriage.

He too had been advised by his financial planner that he is “OK”.   I did sense this achiever was not totally comfortable with that prediction but proceeded nonetheless.

What I found different with this exec from most I talk with is that he was able to articulate a plan involving four different projects he wanted to undertake in this next phase, all built around the skills and experience from his 30 years of leadership and problem-solving.   They included hospital CEO mentoring, public speaking, a member on 2-3 boards, strategy consulting to 3-5 mid-sized hospitals.

In addition to this, he is taking his health more seriously (pre-diabetic, he has lost 30 pounds since retiring) and he and his wife are doing more things together, including periodic trips to Kansas City and Indianapolis to visit/babysit new grandkids.  They are also resurrecting some other travel plans that have been long-delayed.

As I listened and applauded this ex-exec for his forward thinking, I was reminded of something written by Mitch Anthony in his book “The New Retirementality” where he said (I’m paraphrasing slightly):

“Millions are in a mad rush to get to – –  the sidelines. Many of us, however, have already seen enough of our parents’ and forerunners’ retirement scenarios to know that this is not the life for us.  We have figured out that our lives will be full of challenge, relevance, stimulation, and occupational adventure.”

I like those four nouns at the end.  That’s what this exec is doing.  I moved the nouns around and came up with an acronym for which I can start awarding an Oscar for post-career/third age planning – Occupational adventure; Stimulation; Challenge; Relevance – O-S-C-R.

So I have my first Oscar recipient.  He doesn’t know he’s received the award – or that it even exists (it didn’t until I had the conversation this morning).  He signed up for my blog and maybe he will recognize he is the recipient if he reads today’s blog.  If not, maybe I’ll find time to get creative and craft up an Oscar-type graphic and surprise him with it.

I’ll keep it in reserve for the few others that I encounter that have ventured into the fog confident that something will happen – something more than a park bench on the sidelines with an occasional pickle-ball match or 49 hours of G-o-T and other assorted TV gems.

I’m looking for Oscar nominees.  Let me know if you know of any.  Or volunteer yourself if you think you fit.