How Can I Stay Relevant in Retirement? Some Practical Tips to Consider.
Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay
Who doesn’t want to be relevant, germane, material, applicable, apropos?
It’s an important question if one is choosing to play the retirement game.
My first suggestion in answer to the question is to be sure you approach retirement with a plan that goes beyond the money. Most individuals and couples step into retirement without a non-financial plan for what they would like their retirement years to look like. They mistakenly believe that retirement will take care of itself when, in fact, there are always hidden surprises.
Much like the Titanic discovered when negotiating icebergs.
The question of relevance is important because it is one of the top four fears that pre-and early-retirees have about retirement beyond money.
- Boredom.
- Loss of identity.
- Becoming irrelevant.
- Deteriorating health
All of these concerns are addressable. Yet, most people drift into their retirement without a plan designed to deal with them. Items #1–#3 are intertwined and together they have a significant impact on #4.
Matter at Hand.
The question of relevance is a very individual thing. Ultimately, we define our own relevance by the way we view things and the way we are wired up. One new retiree may find his or her relevance in the dedication to and interaction with grandchildren. The next may only feel relevant only if he or she is continuing to drive big decisions or be building something.
A quick look at the definition of relevance tells us it is “bearing on the matter at hand, practical, and especially social applicability.” This brings to bear the importance of retiring into something, not just from something. In other words, what will be your “matter at hand” upon retiring?
In my experience as a career transition and retirement coach dealing mostly with healthcare professionals, I have found a surprising number of these talented professionals looking forward to retirement but unable to articulate what they expect, or want, to do upon retirement. They do express concern about going from 110 miles an hour, 50 hours a week down to near zero.
But, for most, the “what’s next” is fuzzy.
Start Early, Communicate
My suggestion to those who are struggling in this area is to start planning for retirement at least 3–5 years in advance of the anticipated retirement date and start putting things on paper.
And, if you are a couple, communicate, communicate, communicate!
Early – and often!
Remember, fellas, she married you for better or worse but not for lunch every day. Kitchen drawer arrangements are off-limits and she is not your “retirement plaything.” In fact, that may be the farthest thing from her mind. With “grey divorce” i.e. divorces amongst couples over 50 skyrocketing, maybe we should be paying attention to communication early and often.
Practice
Practice may not always make perfect but some retirement practice can go a long way.
Successful retirees often include some “practice retirement” by experimenting with some activities that they think they may have an interest in post-career. That may come in the form of a sabbatical from work, or using accumulated vacation and PTO time to immerse into something on the curiosity list. Maybe a short-term apprenticeship in a business or volunteer opportunity to test it out.
Practice can be particularly important when it comes to location decisions. That practice can include living for a period in an area that is being considered for relocation, or for a second home. I’ve heard more than one story of regret of making a move only to discover the “personality” of the area was a bad match.
No cliff diving
There certainly is some excitement in being a risk-taker and jumping into something without a plan and let the chips fall where they may.
I suggest retirement isn’t one of those things. This is a potential 20-, 30-, 40-year experience with serious long-term implications. Front end planning can have a significant impact on health, longevity, and family stability.
I’ve heard of new retirees taking a transition year to travel, experiment, unwind, and develop a plan to follow for the balance of their retirement year. If finances permit, it’s a great transition plan.
Service and Relevance
My sense is that relevance will be found in living a life of service. We do know, from extensive research, that some form of work is vital to maintaining vitality and a sense of purpose through our retirement years, not to mention contributing to greater longevity. That flies in the face of the traditional leisure-based, consumer-only type retirement that we’ve been pedaled for the last 5–6 decades.
Happier, healthier retirees have something that motivates them to get up in the morning and that provides them a sense of relevance. The nice thing about retirement is that you now have the time and resources (hopefully) to be able to find that relevance, knowing that it may change through your retirement.
Be flexible and don’t let your relevance be dictated by the opinions of others. Be your own person and honor your inner self. It will ultimately let you know what is relevant for your life.
I had to wait until my seventies to make that discovery. I wish for you an earlier and easier discovery. Hence, start early.
Two quick stories:
Know your drivers.
I had the good fortune to share some of this pre-retirement planning insight in a workshop recently with a group of six successful Canadian entrepreneurs who have been meeting together as a sort of “mastermind” group for 15 years. Ranging in age from 57 to 64, they were at various stages of transition, with their businesses and their lives.
Their interest was in this very question: What’s next and how do we best plan for it?
One of the members expressed his fear of FOMO – fear of missing out on what this next phase could be. They all had a similar uneasiness about how to plan for this next phase which contained big decisions such as succession planning with family members and sell-or-stay decisions.
None of the six had financial concerns -their business prowess had taken care of that. Yet, even with day-to-day big decision ability, this question loomed large.
We covered a lot of ground over a two-day, four-hour Zoom workshop with six different topics. One of those topics was a “driver identification” exercise drawing from the content provided in the book “Don’t Retire, REWIRE! “ They were asked to identify their five strongest drivers from a list of 30 provided in the book. Drivers are described as what makes you tick as a human being because they go deep inside you, to your brain, heart, and ego. I asked them to reflect on how they have applied those drivers in their business, and then, more importantly, how they can carry those drivers forward into the retirement phase of their lives. The exercise essentially identified their “core” – a core that doesn’t go away with retirement.
That proved to be the strongest take-away from our time together with them coming away considering how they can continue to apply those drivers but during this next life phase.
No quick answers there, but it moved the needle in setting the table for deeper reflection, more and deeper communication across the family spectrum, and, hopefully, a clearer definition of how those drivers can continue to be deployed in a different type of service.
I strongly recommend the book if you are at this critical juncture.
Follow your heart
The other story came from a Quora writer, Forrest Held, who answered the same question. Here’s his answer:
Relevant in retirement is different than relevant in a career.
Get over it.
You miss the ego-boosting feedback.
You miss the pressure of producing on a schedule.
No one is seeking your input for weighty decisions.
That doesn’t mean you are irrelevant. You will find you are relevant to others and in other ways. New people need you. At retirement age, family and friends will need your help.
My first two years of retirement were spent taking care of my father in the latter stages of dementia. He didn’t know who I was, and he was in a facility. I spent my time making sure he was safe and well cared for each day. I took care of the estate and liquidated assets to pay for his care.
In his last year, I was known as the guy who would take him out to get ice cream. Like his father, it was his favorite treat. He had no real idea who I was.
I am glad I was there in the last years of his life taking care of him like he took care of me when I was young.
After my father passed, I volunteered for hospice with the company that had helped him. I learned a lot about life and death in that year. Suddenly those meetings and schedules seemed less critical. People who know they are dying have a way of sifting through all the crap.
You need to adjust to your new life.
Don’t relive the past.
Live for the future.
Take on new challenges.
Do things outside your comfort zone.
Enjoy time with your loved ones.
Reconnect with people you liked but have been missing from your life over the past three decades.
Say thank you more often. Be grateful that you have lived this long. Make the world a better place through your wisdom.
If you open your eyes and arms to the opportunities, you will find you are more relevant. Your relevance will be in areas that are more important than those you had during your career.
I don’t know where Forrest has ended up in his retired life, but I would guess that it doesn’t fit the off-the-cliff, labor-to-leisure, vocation-to-vacation model. And the world is better for his view of relevance.
If you’re retired, how are you finding relevance? We’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment below or email me at gary@makeagingwork.com.
Great post as always Gary! So many pieces of advice for people to use as they ponder what comes next in retirement.
Well honed insights, Gary. Sometimes, (OK, often), even with all I know already, I would get up in the morning and scan these 4 elements you listed: Boredom, Loss of identity, Becoming irrelevant, and Deteriorating health. Life is dynmaic and these questions remain relevant with time passing and contexts changes day to day. Thanks for the reminder.
Great material here on retirement and relevance. Don’t retire, rewire is a good resource too. I’m 18 mo’s into retirement, coach youth sports part time and officiate.