How Would You Answer the Question: “What Does It Feel Like To Get Old?”

 

Someone asked me online recently how I felt about getting old. While I was tempted to launch into another of my characteristic snarky-style responses, I exercised uncharacteristic self-control and provided the following:

At 78, I guess I qualify for the “old” category.

Occasionally, there are days when I wish it weren’t so but I settled into being “the oldest in the room in most situations” some time ago.

I actually kind of relish it these days – to try to emulate what “old” doesn’t have to be i.e. the grumpy, immobile, smelly ol’ fart most people think of when they think of someone my age. Like this:

I strive to be the opposite – because I can.

Make getting old a game!

As I reflect on it, I realize I’ve turned it into sort of a “game” – a rather high-stakes game in some regards.

I know that I am going to “get” old. But that doesn’t mean that I have to “grow” old. I’ve learned that I have considerable control over the pace and the way that I age.

In my 50s, I began to realize that I was often being acknowledged as “younger than my age” because of my physical appearance and the types of activities that I was involved in. The appearance was assisted with a bit of genetics (full head of brown hair, even today) and a slender build but it was mostly about what I was doing to maintain that appearance.

When I came to my senses at age 37 and quit smoking (an 18 year trip of insanity), I became a “gym rat” and active exerciser, starting off doing long-distance running. In 1987, at age 45, I joined a new athletic club and got back into one of my favorite activities – basketball. But I also began to get active in the club’s weight room, doing aggressive free weight work in addition to the basketball.

I played basketball 5–6 days a week until age 63 when my left knee (and my ortho doc) said no more. For years, I was always the oldest player on the court.

Since I’m now not supposed to run or jump and should not have both feet off the ground at the same time, I’m relegated to an elliptical, treadmill, and upright bike.

Boring? Big time!!

My strength-training continues. Boring also.

That’s why I make it a game. Because I realize the stakes if I choose not to play the game.

For decades now, I have held to an exercise regimen of six days of 45–60 minutes of aerobic each week and 3 days of 30–40 minutes of strength-training, still mostly free-weights.

It’s built into my lifestyle and the driver is the realization that not much else matters if I don’t feel well.

The other parts of the “game” are a largely plant-based diet and being a constant learner.

Are beans, carrots, and almonds boring? Yes – but then so is six months recovering from a triple bypass.

I try to learn something new every day and have read over 700 books over the last 15 years.

I have no illusions about the possibility that something can come along and take me out in a heartbeat. But I’m learning that carrying regrets from the past and fears of the future are horrible use of the imagination and I’m getting better every day at “seizing the day” and living in the moment. Because it’s all I’ve got. I think that attitude is affecting how I age.

It sounds nutty, but I’ve set the mental goal of living to 112 1/2. I set that at age 75 because I wanted to have 1/3 of my life left to make up for what I didn’t get done in the first 2/3.

Candidly, that will happen when you can buy snowcones in hell.

But I feel that setting the target will allow me to come a lot closer to the century mark than if I simply accept that I will live to the average American lifespan – which is 78.9 for men which means that I will be out of here around Christmas.

All this is to say that, with regard to age, I choose to be a total outlier. I ache mentally when I see people I know that are my age or younger that are stooped, arthritic, in pain, suffering from chronic debilitating diseases as a result of previous and ongoing bad lifestyle decisions.

With regard to aging, I subscribe to Gandhi’s famous saying (paraphrased): “Be the change you want to see in others.”

I’ve learned that I can’t talk people into doing what is right for their health or successful aging. They are going to do what they are going to do – and as a culture, we face tremendous challenges in preserving and extending our good health and longevity. A broken “cure-based” healthcare system, food industry that doesn’t give a rip about our health, and a general cultural attitude oriented toward seeking comfort and instant gratification all take way too many of us to premature aging, extended morbidity, and early frailty.

I just choose to not be part of it – and hopefully, change a lifestyle or two with my example.

Here are a few previous articles that provide a perspective on the above.

Aging Without Frailty – A Series

Extend Your Healthy Longevity – Twelve Things That May Be Accelerating Your Aging – A Three-part Series.

The last point I want to make about my aging is that I’ve reached a stage where I can’t wait to get up in the morning and do what I do (here’s a link to my LinkedIn profile which will provide you a quick view of what I do). This only came after a long period of self-discovery through my 60s where I finally acknowledged what I was really wired up to do but that I had avoided with my 35-year investment in the corporate world.

With this deep self-discovery, I have more energy and drive than at any other stage of my life. It’s one of the reasons that I am not an advocate of traditional retirement as we know it in the U.S. because it takes us in the wrong direction relative to how our natural biology works. Meaningful, purposeful work mixed with leisure and continued learning is a magic combination that takes my mind off my age and, I believe, will bode well for me getting closer to that 112 1/2 than most people believe I can.

So, all that said, the bottom line is that I feel good in this aging game that I’m playing and having the time of my life. And hoping to bring some others with me.

How would you answer the question? I’m really curious – share your thoughts with a comment below or email me your thoughts at gary@makeagingwork.com.

Don’t Be a “Get Off My Lawn” Elder!

If you are at mid-life or beyond and reading this, do yourself (and me) a favor and spend 34 minutes, 23 seconds and watch this video.

Marc Middleton (on the left) is CEO of Growing Bolder which is described as ” –  a team of award-winning journalists, broadcasters and creatives all focused on sharing the inspirational stories of ordinary people living extraordinary lives — men and women who are redefining the possibilities of life after 50.”

I’ve followed G-B for a few years and feel they are doing wonderful things. There’s much to be gained and nothing to lose by subscribing and becoming a “Growing Bolder Insider.”

In keeping with Marc’s commitment to addressing the issues surrounding ageism and “growing older but bolder,” he has produced this interview with what many consider he ultimate authority” on aging, Dr. Ken Dychtwald. founder and CEO of AgeWave and author of 17 books on aging.

I will confess to having been heavily influenced by Dr. Dychtwald’s research, writings, and public presentations.

This video brings Dr. Dychtwald to us as truly “one of us” as he has just turned 70.

I won’t steal any of the thunder from this interview except to say it speaks positively to the opportunity that we have, as folks aging into our second half/third age. to address ageism and contribute mightily to influencing where our culture and society are going.

Please click on the link to the video below the picture and absorb some of the content offered by two of the most influential “third-agers” available to us.

 

 

Click here to watch the video.

Managing Yourself Into Your Second Half – Three Critical Steps

“When work for most people meant manual labor, there was no need to worry about the second half of your life. You simply kept on doing what you had always done. And if you were lucky enough to survive 40 years of hard work in the mill or on the railroad, you were quite happy to spend the rest of your life doing nothing. Today, however, most work is knowledge work, and knowledge workers are not ‘finished’ after 40 years on the job, they are merely bored.

We hear a great deal of talk about the midlife crisis of the executive. It is mostly boredom. At 45, most executives have reached the peak of their business careers, and they know it. After 20 years of doing very much the same kind of work, they are very good at their jobs. But they are not learning or contributing or deriving challenge and satisfaction from the job. And yet they are still likely to face another 20 if not 25 years of work. That is why managing one-self increasingly leads one to begin a second career.”

I stole the long quote from a short Harvard Business Review booklet entitled “Managing Oneself”  by the late, great,  and revered management/business guru, Peter F. Drucker.

Drucker suggests that there are three ways to develop a second career:

  1. Actually start one.  It may mean moving from one kind of organization to another,  or perhaps moving into a completely different line of work. Like a close friend of mine who took his sales skills from the high-end furniture industry to the automobile brokerage industry and thrived.
  2. Develop a parallel career.  Another close friend and investment banking executive prepared himself for a parallel career in Christian counseling by getting a Master of Divinity on top of his MBA. He functions in both roles with a thriving counseling business where heart and wisdom team up to change lives one at a time. With the changes and volatility taking place in the banking/brokerage world, his decision may prove prescient.
  3. Be a social entrepreneur. These are people who have been successful in their first careers but are no longer challenged.  Very much like my friend Ron Benfield who I wrote about in my 3/2/20 article. Ron fit this scenario. Unchallenged and passed over in his large hospital CFO role, he started his own healthcare consulting firm which thrives two years later providing services back to hospitals solving the same problems he solved as a successful CFO. But now he provides employment to a team of skilled professionals who were also escaping the corporate handcuffs.

Option #3 appears to be alive and well – –

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the self-employment rate among workers 65 and older (who don’t incorporate) is the highest of any age group in America: 15.5 percent. In sharp contrast, it’s 4.1 percent for ages 25 to 34.  We’ve known for some time that more businesses are started by people over 50 than any other age group.

– – but the majority still don’t plan for their second half.

Drucker comes to a conclusion similar to my observation as I connect with mid-life professionals.

He says:

“People who manage the second half of their lives may always be a minority. The majority may ‘retire on the job’ and count the years until their actual retirement. But it is this minority, the men and women who see a long working-life expectancy as an opportunity both for themselves and for society, who will become leaders and models.”

Why is it that the majority fail to plan for the second half?  Perhaps it is not accepting the fact that living longer will inevitably include some level of a major setback in work or life. Whether it is being passed over, being a victim of a downsize, a marriage breakup, loss of a child, a second major interest – beyond a hobby – can make a huge difference.

How do I do this?

Let me share three suggestions that should help:

1. Start early. Drucker suggests beginning long before entering the second half, noting that all the social entrepreneurs he knew began to work on their chosen second career long before they reached the peak of their original careers. Much of this can happen through volunteering, pursuing one’s curiosity, experimenting while at the same time expanding awareness of opportunities and needs in the world. Drucker makes the point that “- if one does not begin to volunteer before one is 40 or so, one will not volunteer once past 60.”

2. Get reacquainted with your real self. We all start with an “essential self” and it sticks with us until we are no longer. Martha Beck, author of the seminal book “Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live” describes it as:

“–the personality you got from your genes: your characteristic desires, preferences, emotional reactions, and involuntary physiological responses, bound together by an overall sense of identity.”

Unfortunately, career pursuit, conformity, building another’s dreams, and chasing the paycheck can push that essential self to the background. Beck suggests it is the formation of  a “social self” or “– that part of you that developed in response to pressures from the people around you and was shaped by cultural norms and expectations.”

The aforementioned major setback has a way of bringing that essential self forward.  Rather than wait for the setback, mid-life is a time to reflect, reassess, and resurrect that core, essential self and commit – through experimentation – to finding a way to apply it in the second half.

Kick start the process by asking yourself:

  • What am I really, really good at?
  • What do I really, really want to do?
  • What does the world need?

3. Grow, learn, expand, be curious. Now is a good time to not only rediscover your essence but also beef up your skills. Discovering your essence should reacquaint you with your talents. Now is a good time to burnish those talents with deeper skills and turn them into deeper strengths. Take some classes; go for a new or another certification; volunteer and learn something new.  It’s easy to flat-line intellectually at this mid-point, stay stuck in old ways, and be unprepared for the unexpected.

Be the CEO of your second half.

I’ll wrap with another quote from Drucker:

“Every existing society, even the most individualistic one, takes two things for granted, if only subconsciously: that organizations outlive workers, and that most people stay put.

But today the opposite is true. Knowledge workers outlive organizations, and they are mobile. The need to manage oneself is therefore creating a revolution in human affairs.”

I hope this may help you join the revolution.

Share a comment below. Thanks for actively participating in the discussion.  Join our email list if you haven’t already by going to www.makeagingwork.com. You’ll receive our free ebook “Achieve Your Full-live Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose.”

Stay safe!

 

 

It’s Never Too Late To Be A Genius. Don’t Forget – You Were One Once!

Einstein was told he was stupid.

Yours truly was stupid – for the better part of 55 years.

Not because anyone called me stupid – other than a little demon in that fatty-acid clump between my temples.

It all started with my mistaken interpretation of a standard IQ test taken somewhere along my high school journey – I don’t remember when exactly.  Somehow I interpreted – or was told by someone – that my score was substantially below average. In other words, I was kinda stupid.

And a little demon was birthed.

That’s not a good thing when the hormones are raging as an adolescent. It’s just not a great combination.

It leads to a “personality.”

Sure, we all have a personality. As life coach Steve Chandler reminds us, we fundamentally stay what we became in junior high school. Then we operate out of that personality, play the life game, and forget we were once geniuses.

Do you remember when you weren’t a personality? When you were in your genius years. When you enthusiastically, unabashedly tapped into that thing called “creation.” Even at my age, I remember spending whole days as a child – sometimes alone, usually with others my age – making stuff up, acting things out. Maybe it was made up games on a vacant lot with an old abandoned shed; or a new mound of dirt at a construction site, or a house of blankets and sheets stretched across furniture, or trying to build a tree house – or just turning whatever you could get your hands on into something.

Kinda like this – when my 7- and 8-year old grandsons get together and tap “nana’s” toy bin or my 10-year old granddaughter decides to go into premature domesticity in a box house.

We didn’t have or need Disneyworld growing up. We did our own Disneyworld where we were with what we had. We were geniuses.

Until we weren’t.

What happened?

Grown-ups happened! Parents, peers, professors. The “P’s” – those ahead of us whose creativity had been suppressed and now felt compelled to continue the culturally-defined suppression.

As Chandler writes:

“Grown-ups project their own lack of creativity on their young children and take them places like Disneyland or Chuck E. Cheese constantly to over-stimulate the child. They are projecting their own emptiness on the soon-to-be spoiled child. Children don’t need all that. Children can (and will) create anywhere with anything.”

How do we lose that creativity? Chandler nails it:

“- by assuming personalities and then defending those personalities with our lives. No more creativity, just defense. Now I’m afraid I won’t get a job. I’m afraid my spouse won’t approve of me, and I’m afraid of my employer, and I’m afraid I won’t raise my kids right. And soon, I’m out of energy. Because nothing takes more energy to maintain than a fear.”

I’m not into victimology and don’t point fingers. Except at my own thinking – the thinking that produced that little demon. Perhaps it had a bit of a nudge from a parent or peer or professor/teacher.  But I owned it and nurtured it into my 60s. My personality formed around it.

My little demon persisted despite the fact that I survived pretty well in light of my perceived deficiency.

  1. Graduated high school, popular (not hard in a high school of 90 kids).
  2. Finished college (OK, three tries and nine years post-high school – the demon loved it).
  3. Did above-average in career and ladder climbing, pulling down some OK jack.
  4. Married way over my head to someone much smarter and with far fewer blind spots.

Still, my little thought demon had me convinced that I should be intimidated and be rendered speechless in the presence of someone I perceived to be of higher intellect, ability, title, and status. No way I could measure up, look smart, or leave an impression. So, best to just avoid the encounter.

With the persistent help of she who is “smarter and without many blind spots” and a gradual rise in my self-awareness, I started retiring the demon in my 60s. It wasn’t going willingly. Remnants still surfaced.

Until my 50th high school reunion, ten years ago.

The reunion was a big deal. Half of my class showed up! All six of us had a ball. (Yes, you read that right – 12 in my graduating class. No, it wasn’t a one-room school!)

One of my enterprising classmates had rifled through some school records that were about to be thrown out as the state announced they were going to preserve our high school as a state historical site.  She found files of high school transcripts for each of us in attendance at the reunion.

And there it was – the record of my IQ test. Along with old test papers, report cards, teacher’s reports (deportment was not one of my strong suits).

My IQ test graded slightly above average!

The demon exited!

Now, a conversation with someone who I would have perceived as of “higher intellect, ability, title, and status” is easier because I know most are operating from the defense of a personality that mostly isn’t real.  Just like in my world.  Despite their intellect/ability/title/status, I know the defense of their personality is at the expense of creativity that never really left them.

It just got “P’ed” on.

That’s why I like working with folks entering the “second half”. It’s about then that personality defense and 35 years of catering to cultural expectations become tiresome, energy is in shorter supply, and there’s a concern that there’s a limited time period in which to “make a difference.” It’s a “turning point” in which one can operate from purpose and not personality and re-connect to core creativity and bring it back even stronger than in childhood.

It’s why I’ll be adding a new company over the coming months – “Turning Point Career Services” –  with the intent of offering coaching services and other resources designed to meet people at this second-half juncture and help them move forward from there with purpose in the lead, not personality.

That creativity and spirit we all had as 7-year-olds didn’t leave. It just got barnacled over, enculturated, and tamped down. But it can come raging back if we’ll set it free.

That’s what the second half of life can be all about.

Maybe some of you can relate. We’d love to hear about it. Scroll down and leave a comment or drop us a note at gary@makeagingwork.com.

It’s Never Too Late To Get “AMPed”. Post-career May Be the Best Time!

Time travel with me for a second, will you?

It’s day one of your life – cleaned up, aspirated, swaddled, lying on mom’s chest.

Were you?

  1. Active and engaged?
  2. Passive and inert?

OK – I tried it and it didn’t work for me either. My recall was a tad fuzzy. Perhaps a little early for those esoteric thoughts.

Let’s roll the camera forward three years. Were you #1 or #2?

Now, we’re getting somewhere. My recall of me at that age isn’t much better, but I guarantee I wasn’t #2.  Nor were you. There was some level of “out-of-control” in your life and mine at that age.  That’s our start-up wiring. Perhaps like you, I’ve watched it through my kids and, now, my grandkids.

Have you ever seen a three-year-old that isn’t curious and pretty much into his or her own thing? Active, engaged, curious, self-directed, exploding with mile-a-minute ideas and creativity, all impractical and unmarketable. As parents/grandparents, we roll with it, confident that “this, too, shall pass” and taking comfort in the fact that #2 will eventually prevail.

And then, like most of us, chances are they will ride the #2 bus to the end, creativity and enthusiasm giving way to cultural expectations and the allure of extrinsic rewards of the work world. The final big dose of #2 will come with a full-stop retirement plan where passivity and inertia thrive.

Our default setting gets shifted!

We have lots of help on this journey. For instance, the “5 P’s” that creep into our lives to make sure that the energy, creativity, engagement, unpredictability is corralled back between the culturally-acceptable fences. You remember the P’s, don’t you?

  • Parents
  • Peers
  • Professors
  • Politicians
  • Pundits

Then,  43 or 57, our three-year-old-self is, well – we’re not really sure where it is. And we don’t get much encouragement to try to find it again. It’s not part of the “model.” The “5 C’s” have taken ownership:

  • Comfort
  • Convenience
  • Comparison
  • Conventionality
  • Contentment

And then, mid-life or later, we hear a voice saying “Is this all there is?” Or somebody reminds us that the number of people attending our funeral is going to be largely determined by the weather!

Ouch!

Very few don’t give in to the 5 P’s and C’s. Most of us do.

Are you “Type X” or “Type 1”?

Author Daniel Pink, in his best-seller “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”, unpacks some intriguing corollaries to all of the above, based on extensive research into human nature relative to our innate drivers.

Hugely condensed, Pink’s message is that our best self emerges when our rewards are intrinsic (inside) and not extrinsic (external). As an example, recognition versus money.

He takes it further to point out that there are inner drivers that take us to our full potential and fulfillment. They are:

  • Autonomy
  • Mastery
  • Purpose

A-M-P!

He distinguishes between two types of people, Type X and Type 1, saying:

“For Type X’s, the main motivator is external rewards; any deeper satisfaction is welcome, but secondary. For Type 1’s, the main motivator is the freedom, challenge, and purpose of the undertaking itself; any other gains are welcome, but mainly as a bonus.”

The core message in Pink’s book seems to be (I’m 2/3 through it) that we are awakening to the weaknesses inherent in systems built on the extrinsic rewards that have been the predominant model in business tracing back to the start of the industrial age. Smarter managers are now seeing better results when they appeal to, and create an atmosphere for, the motivating force of the intrinsic rewards of having autonomy, pursuing mastery, and doing something with deep purpose.

His message engendered some not-so-positive memories of my 35 years of corporate life, which ended 18 years ago at age 60. I’m challenged to remember any significant intrinsic rewards from my five different work experiences across three different industries.

I was doing it all for the money. For the eventual retirement dream. What I didn’t have, and was never offered, was (drum roll) A-M-P.

My autonomy gave way to a cubicle, an 8 a.m. at-your-desk-or-else edict, and an under-qualified, forever-threatened boss.

My mastery never flourished because shifting corporate programs, policies, products didn’t keep us in one spot long enough to master something – plus, I had no clue what I might want to master. It was all about hitting the numbers and earning the cash.

Purpose? Oh, it was there – it just wasn’t mine. It belonged to senior management and the satisfaction of shareholders.

OK, I’m a whiner, a victim, an anomaly.

Well, I think not, as evidenced by what Forbes reported in 2018 about how employee engagement continues to shrink in the enlightening article entitled “10 Shocking Workplace Stats You Need To Know.” In it, The Conference Board reveals that “- 53% of American workers are currently unhappy at work.” Gallup’s extensive research reveals nearly 20% are actively disengaged.

One out of two has no A-M-P in their lives. One in five is clearly in it only for the extrinsic.

I’m not out to change that!

I’m done with the corporate scene and have no intention of trying to do what Daniel Pink is doing i.e. transforming the way we treat people in the workplace.

But I am out to plant the seeds of the A-M-P principle in the minds of folks at the mid-life, post-career, early-retirement, “third age” phases of life.

It’s at those stages where a crossroads exists: #1 or #2 for the rest of my life?

Parts of #2 are pretty tempting after 30-40 years of corporate life. What’s not to like about no schedule, no agenda, no alarm clock, and being one with the voice-activated remote.

That euphoria wears out pretty quickly. And then it’s “what’s next?” or “what now?”

My suggestion: Get AMPed!

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to experience the autonomy that was absent in the control-and-command corporate world?

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to be able to achieve a significant level of mastery over something we have longed to do most of our lives?

Will there ever be a better time in our lives to be able to discover a purpose of our own rather than one dictated to us?

The formula looks like this:

AMP = (Doing what I want, when I want, where I want) + (Doing what I’m really good, what I really like to do) + (Making something/somebody/someplace better) 

Simple. Fulfilling. And likely to add more life to our years as well as more years to our lives.

And a chance to be your three-year-old self, active and engaged.

We appreciate your feedback. Have a thought about all this? Scroll down and leave a comment. And thanks for being a reader. If you aren’t on our email list, you can join up, at no cost, at www.makeagingwork.com.  See you next week.

 

How Old Would You Be If You Didn’t Know How Old You Are?

I believe it was Satchel Paige that asked the question that is my article headline.

You may have heard of (or remember) Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, American Negro League pitcher who is notable for his longevity in the game. He became a Hall of Famer, died in 1982 at age 76, and was known for his quotes in addition to his baseball prowess.

Like this one:

“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

I like both quotes. At 78, I think you can understand why I like them.

Last week, I talked about starting a revolution to stamp out ageism. With a bit of a twist, I continue the quest.

This week, I sucked down a large dose of Steve Chandler, life and business coach extraordinaire and one of my favorite authors. I had loaned one of my favorite Chandler books to my son some time ago and it found its way (miraculously) back to my house recently. Read? Unread? He’s not saying – doesn’t matter. What matters is that I had a chance to dive back into it and complete my fifth reading (not a typo) of it since 2016.

The book is entitled “The Story of You.- And How to Create a New One.”  One of his most popular books. And, for me, a real gut-punch of reality about life and what we make it.

It’s classic Chandler. As in:

Get over yourself!!

The whole book is about how our lives are nothing more than made-up-stories with us as the authors.

In Chapter 8, “The Story of Growing Old”, Chandler says bluntly:

“Our age and attitude toward it is simply a made up story – influenced by listening to the stories told around us. You can’t be old unless you have a story about how old you are.”

Chandler keys off a prediction by celebrity alternative medicine doctor Dr. Andrew Weill who has predicted that the baby boomer generation will return focus and dignity to aging.  Like Chandler, I hope he’s right because, in Chandler’s words, “-it’s just a made-up story to say that young is better than old.”

Weill makes the point:

“Why are old wines and whiskeys valued much more than young ones? Why are we moved in the presence of old trees? When you age cheese, it improves the cheese. Antiques are valuable because they are so old. Older violins are the most treasured.”
Can’t we consider all the qualities of aging that make these things more valuable and apply them to people – and change the story we have about older people?
We’re up against it when it comes to changing the narrative, the story about aging. But it starts with us. We have to resist the negative aging story which can become very convincing because it’s so prevalent around us.  Chandler puts it this way:

“This negative aging story soon becomes convincing. It even entrances the old people themselves! Some older people, when they retire, start walking differently. They hobble and shuffle along. They speak differently, too, as if in a play with new parts to play. They stop exercising because their story is that they’re old now. Their voices get high-pitched, thin, reedy, and weak. How much of that is the physical decline, and how much of it is living into the pre-scripted story.”

There are legions of those who have rejected this pre-scripted story.

Warren Buffet hasn’t slowed much at age 89 – he still reads 5 hours a day in his office.

William Shatner, also 89, still travels, performs, creates as if his hair was on fire.

Norman MacLean rejected the idea of retirement and, at age 73, wrote his highly acclaimed masterpiece “A River Runs Through It.”

John Housman won an academy award for his performance in The Paper Chase but hadn’t started acting until he was 70.

Chandler had convinced himself for years that he was too old to write books until he changed the story he was telling himself at age 50 and has since turned out over 30 books. His new story? He would keep writing until his dying day. And he was making it up as he went.

It’s like deja-vu all over again, for me. My reinvention to write for the rest of my life is my changed story and I, too, am truly building this airplane in flight. And can’t wait to get up each morning and add one more little part.

Part of that new story is that I started posting responses on Quora.com about 15 months ago answering questions in my sweet spot of health and wellness, aging, longevity, career transition, etc.

On a whim, my first post was an answer to the crazy question: “What is the cause of the common odor many senior citizens have (despite good hygiene)? I know something about it because I had researched it for a book that I have written that remains in what is beginning to look like terminal draft stage.

You can read the Quora post here. If you do click on it, you will see, as of today, it has garnered 306,000 views and over 1,500 upvotes.

Whaa? About why old people smell?  Really?

Since that article, I’ve posted around 350 articles with 1.8 million views, nearly 10,000 upvotes, and earned Top 10 writer in a couple of categories. All of which, together with $2, will buy me a cup of Starbuck’s horrid coffee.

Why do it? Because I changed my story. I want to write. I feel I have a voice and a message and it’s a chance to maybe touch somebody, somewhere.

I get a lot of feedback on those posts, nearly all positive. There is one comment, however, that remains permanently ensconced in my brain because, well, the truth hurts. One gentleman didn’t line up with one of my arguments about something and simply just referred to me as an insufferable p***k.

I relayed that incident to my roommate of 49 1/2 years who responded with a “YES” and a fist pump.

I’ve kept a log of most of the comments (38 pages of them, in fact) because many of them have stories that I find educational and help guide me with my content. I want to share one with you:

A Harrington commented on your answer to: “What is the best advice you can give to someone who recently turned 60?”

6/9/2020

“Thank you Gary. I am female, 52 and have ‘missed the boat’ on a fulfilling, promising career. I did manage a bachelor’s degree after high school but then dropped the ball and simply took various jobs just to keep money coming in and survive. A very big mistake of which I have only myself to blame. (However, I did conceive a beautiful child and had many happy years as a stay-at-home Mom.)

So now I sit with the pain of missed opportunity and a feeling of loss at never having made more of myself. I have been toying with the idea of additional schooling to complete a teaching certificate. It would take me 16 months to do so and I would finish at the later side of 53, but after reading your post I think maybe I am not so crazy for considering it? Possibly someone would benefit from this older gal becoming a teacher?”

That’s why I write, why my story changed. Maybe A. Harrington will move from “victim” to “owner.” Maybe she will pull off a story change from the story she’s been telling herself (missing the boat) and move from toying to doing and touch many young people’s lives.

There are many like it in my comment log. People needing, wanting a story change. Each an affirmation that we are all made up stories, telling ourselves what we think others want us to be.

We are truly masters of lying to ourselves. And we’ve had a lot of help.

So, am I really 78?

Or can I be 45? Or 92? Some would L-O-L at the 45. Most wouldn’t care.  This morning, as I write, it feels like 45. My lower back says 92. But 45 wins.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.

What’s yours?

Got a thought or comment about all this?  Share it below or with an email to gary@makeagingwork.com.  If you aren’t on our mailing list for each week’s free article, you can join in a heartbeat at www.makeagingwork.com. Stay safe, be sensible.

Do You Have an “Escape Tunnel” or “Glidepath” to Your “Retirement Victory Lap?”

OK – I’m guilty. I’m full-on plagiarizing!

I stole all of the terms you see in quotes in the headline from Mike Drak, Rob Morrison, and Jonathan Chevreau (henceforth known as M, R, & J)

Secretly, I hate them!

You see, they put into 209 wonderfully written pages what I’ve been blogging about for three years. They co-authored a book entitled: “Victory Lap Retirement: Work While You Play, Play While You Work”.

It’s the book I should have written a couple of years ago. But, I let my constant sidekick dominate. You’ve met him – his name is P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N!

So, you go, guys! You’ve done masterful work with an amazing combination of advice from both financial and non-financial perspectives.

Dear reader: if you are at, close to, or even thinking about retirement, buy the book. It could be the best $15-18 (Amazon) investment you’ll make on behalf of the post-career phase of your life. (Disclosure: if you buy it through either Amazon link above, I will earn a pittance of an Amazon Affiliate commission).

An “escape tunnel” or a “glidepath”.

These three musketeers introduced a concept worth sharing because it fits so well into the evolving retirement landscape.

For several years now, we’ve been tossing around terms like “encore career”, “semi-retirement”, “unretirement”, “rewirement”, “reinvention”, etc., etc., ad nauseum. All an attempt to put a reasonable tag on this “new frontier” of extended longevity trying to co-exist with an irrelevant, worn-out, 85-year-old concept called traditional, full-stop retirement.

It’s taking us a while, but we’re finally admitting that it doesn’t fit for today’s healthier, more savvy “third agers” who are entering that period between end-of-career and true old age.  That space used to be about 3-5 years – now it could be 30-40.

Close your eyes: Imagine 30 years of bridge with three others your age, all with that curious old people smell.  Or 30 years of bocce ball, pickleball, bingo, golf. Or a couple of decades of “pity parties” and “organ recitals” with full-stop retirees discussing the latest surgery, arthritic area, immobility issue, slipped memory incident, or an acquaintance experiencing all of the above.

If I haven’t sufficiently pissed you off and you are still with me, close your eyes again. Imagine having gathered together all your natural talents, stirred them together with acquired skills and experiences and stepped into a vibrant life with inordinate energy, an inspirational reason to get up in the morning, and going to bed experiencing a “good tired” because you completed a day having served, contributed, and impacted someone or something.

That’s what M, R & J call the “Victory Lap” – a celebration of what you are all about, on your terms, on your schedule, doing what you are best at and doing it when, where, and how you please.

But you don’t hop off a cliff to get there. It calls for a “glidepath” or, if you are corporately-snared, an “escape tunnel” (close your eyes again and think Andy and Shawshank Redemption and the swim through the sewage).

Start digging your “escape tunnel” now!

Remember the line from Red (Morgan Freeman) in Shawshank when he ‘reminisced” about his lengthy incarceration:

“These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized. They send you here for life, that’s exactly what they take. The part that counts anyway.”

Show of hands. How many just read a description of their corporate job?

Andy refused to get used to the walls – his escape tunnel took 20 years. The authors draw a parallel to Andy in the movie:

“The smart ones among us do as Andy does and start digging their escape tunnel toward freedom (financial independence) the minute they join the Corp. They view the time they spend in the Corp as part of a bigger plan, adopting the institution purposefully and using the benefits it provides to help them reach their long-term goals.”

When I started corporate life a half-century ago, there was a palatable combo of loyalty to employees, security in a position, and pension plans. Today, toss them all. Recent research is showing that over 50% of corporate employees don’t like their jobs. READ: they are doing it for the money.

An escape plan from today’s Corp is the appropriate mindset from day one. Use the Corp instead of it using you.

Sage advice from the authors: “ … begin planning today for your “jailbreak” by creating your own destiny and charting your eventual Victory Lap.”

Takeoffs only – no landings allowed!

I agree with M, R, & J when they say that your “victory lap” is limited only by your imagination (see my 6/22/20 blog here). Full-stop retirement tends not to tax the imagination. Their glidepath strategy presents an opportunity to be creative and continue to work on one’s own terms as long as one pleases. It may call for continuing with a current employer if the work is enjoyable, but on a part-time basis. Or it may be with another organization within the same industry.

I see it a lot with healthcare executives who glidepath into consulting.

A glidepath may team up with a Passion/Hobby Strategy with the full- or part-time work satisfying the desire to pursue a long-delayed passion. There is more risk here because it may be a major “lane change.”

I recall wasting a ton of time 15-20 years ago doing deep research on starting my own fly-fishing retail shop because I was so deeply passionate and immersed in the sport. Fortunately, sanity prevailed and I conceded that it would be turning a hobby into drudgery at 1/3 of the income I was making at the time.

Be sure to give more than a second thought to making a passion or hobby your escape tunnel or glidepath.

Do as I say, not as I did!

I broke from the Corp at age 60. But it was a “jailbreak”, no escape tunnel. I was mentally checked out probably two years before the jailbreak. An industry collapse and looming bankruptcy left me no time for an escape tunnel, even if I had conceived of the idea. My jailbreak was from MCI.  You may remember them – jail time for Bernie Ebbers (now deceased), Enron era, lot of craziness and Corp knuckleheads.

Sans escape tunnel or intentional glidepath, I went over the cliff into my own recruiting business, insufficiently prepared and with illusionary visions of being entrepreneur material.  If M, R & J and their book had been around then, I may have rethought that step, perhaps hanging in the Corp world for a few more years, continuing to feed a pretty healthy “retirement nest egg” with full intentions of absconding on my terms.

But, then again, probably not because I’ve never been good at relinquishing my time to another and, for decades, had found the Corp very stultifying relative to my inflexibility in the time ownership area.

Plus, retirement as a concept had exited my vocabulary and mindset years prior to this big step.

I guess you could say I ended up on a 15-year glidepath as I stumbled and humbled through at least two “reinventions” ultimately discovering my own version of a Victory Lap doing what I am wired up to do and which I intend to do until I can’t. I’ve unashamedly set that “can’t” as past 100 years.

Thanks to M, R & J for advancing the argument that full-stop retirement is dinosaur territory and that it’s well nigh time we redeployed the accumulated talents, skills, experience, energy, and enthusiasm of this 55+ group back into a marketplace and culture in bad need of a large dose of wisdom and stability.

Let me know what you think of the book – and this article with a comment below or an email to gary@makeagingwork.com. If you aren’t on our subscription list, it’s free and easy at www.makeagingwork.com.  Plus, a subscription comes with a free ebook: “Achieve Your Full-life Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose.”

The Idea of Retirement Has Stolen Our Inner Magician. Let’s Get It Back!

“We all know that nature abhors a vacuum. The same is true of our imaginations. The Magician makes this principle work for him. Drawing a magic circle, he creates an empty space in which to work his magic. You can think of your goals as providing the boundaries of this inner circle. Within the empty spaces of this circle, your imagination or inner magician works to create the outcomes you desire. On the other hand, if we don’t give our imaginations constructive things to do, they tend to fill up with junk and recycle images of negativity and doubt. It’s up to the Hero to supply the inner Magician with challenging creative demands that will keep it constructively engaged and out of mischief. Because our imaginations abhor a vacuum, they are our best friends or our worst enemies. The true Magician makes her imagination her friend.”

Laurence G. Boldt, “Zen and the Art of Making a Living”

Where is our imagination?

I guess you can tell I like this book since I quoted Mr. Boldt extensively last week. I find it to be one of those “hidden gem” books loaded with “contrarian common-sense” applicable to my purpose (READ: it’s not for everybody) that comes more alive with each reading.

I pondered and meditated on Boldt’s paragraph this morning after allowing myself to do a mental swim in all the junk and crap that is going on around me.

I’ll bet you’ve been there. Perhaps still there. Doing that type of mental swim is never a good idea. It’s really easy to do, isn’t it?

I’m realizing I’m not being very “imaginative” when it comes to filters. How imaginative is it to flip back and forth between Fox News and MSNBC?  Which I’ve been guilty of so that I can say that I am “considerate of both sides” of the insanity that they both peddle.

Or to scan through the Denver Post over my oatmeal fully aware that I’ve just wasted 30 minutes swimming in more junk.

As I wrote about last week, while in this unimaginative channel, do I fret over riots or respirators? COVID or cops? Conspiracy theory A or conspiracy theory B? The stock market or the wet market?

This is as crazy a mash-up of insanity as ever in my eight decades on this mudball. A media field day, nirvana. And energy-sapper extraordinaire!

Nobody is coming to save us!!

Except our imagination. A sense of purpose. Undying principles.

Last week, I posed the question “Is COVID a Cataclysm or a Catalyst?” I suggested that COVID, in many ways, may be a catalyst in the form of a receding tide revealing our “nakedness.”

What is that nakedness?

  1. That we are rudderless with the loudest voices and knee-jerk decisions guiding the ship instead of common sense and a true sense of community.
  2. That a larger-than-self-purpose or spiritual quest has given way to societal conditioning, conformity, to “get-mine-now” consumerism, to “garage-door- up, garage-door-down” sense of community, to “us” versus “them” at every turn.
  3. We’ve come to expect “big government” or “big business” to save us, both of which have proven themselves deeply skilled at altruism head-fakes.
  4. That some long-standing practices have been exposed as harmful and/or fraudulent. As in a consumerist lifestyle. As in retirement!

“Anxiety is the hand-maiden of creativity”

I wish I knew who to attribute that quote to since it is so timely.

COVID-spawned anxiety is very real and ubiquitous. We can be creative within that anxiety or be crushed by it.

Here’s a dose of anxiety: fully one-third of Americans now feel they will never be able to retire. According to Yahoo Money, seven in 10 Americans expect the pandemic to hurt their retirement savings, with a fifth predicting a severe impact.

I can think of few things that can create more anxiety – aside from severe health issues – than something that futzes with our ability to retire. It would seem that there isn’t much that can dump more cortisol/adrenaline/norepinephrine into our increasingly fragile immune system than the prospect of not being able to achieve that pseudo-entitlement and to have to – oh, horrors!! – continue to work.

This should be music to our ears!

I heard you say it: What, are you nuts? Risk your readership with a direct frontal assault on this revered institution?

Nothing new here – for three years, I’ve been part of the growing crowd that is exposing traditional retirement for what it really is – a trojan horse with few upsides and a plethora of downsides.

I’m encouraged that one of the greatest catalytic impacts of COVID may be to finally put traditional self-indulgent, leisure-based retirement on life-support.

Name something less imaginative than retirement.

Let me help as you ponder the question.

  • The word came from the French verb “retirer” which means to “withdraw, go backward, retreat to a place of seclusion.”  Will you find that in your DNA? Only if you’ve tabled your imagination.
  • It’s an 85-year old concept, designed for political purposes with an arbitrary, “artificial finish line” of 65 at a time when people rarely lived to 62. Let’s spell it together:  i-r-r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t.
  • With help from the media and the product-peddling financial services industry, we’ve been convinced that “work” is a dirty four-letter word and something to jettison when in fact it turns out to be a central tenet of good mental and physical health.
  • It exploits the myth that senescence is automatic and unalterable when in fact the opposite is true.
  • Some of its most identifiable fruits are boredom, sedentary living, withdrawal from continuous learning, and ultimately “living too short and dying too long.”  Kinda like this life-model that still persists today:
  • Retirement doesn’t exist in nature and didn’t exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago. It’s yet another manipulative tool designed by man for political advantage that morphed into an “entitlement” that appeals to and exploits our decadent, lazy nature.
  • How imaginative is it to suggest one pack up their accumulated skills, talents, and experiences and trade them in for bingo, bridge, boche ball, and beach bungalows while denying society the power of that accumulated wisdom and common sense?

End of rant. The list can go on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imaginative would be to say:

I was created with unique skills and talents that I choose to continue to make available to humanity until I can no longer.

How can that not be healthy for our sagging culture?

How can that not be better for a personal biology that offers only two options – growth or decay?

How can that not be better for those behind us who are so uncertain of what lies ahead?

Wisdom and experience redeployed and not wasted, common sense resurfaced, timeless principles resurrected – somehow it just sounds more imaginative.

A “New Retirementality”, a “Victory Lap”, and a “REWIRE!”

COVID is accelerating the much-needed redefinition of what post-career, post-parenting life can be.

If you are at that life juncture, here are three books you may want to check out that do a great job of delivering imaginative “redefinition” messages along with actionable ideas to assist in the transition:

Let ‘s refind our inner magician and imaginatively reinvent our way out of this chaos.

Because no one is coming to save us!

I appreciate you and thank you for reading. I also appreciate and benefit from your feedback.  Let me know what you think with a comment below.

If you are not on the list, it’s free and easy to do so at www.makeagingwork.com.  Come join the growing tribe.

 

 

Is COVID a Cataclysm? Or a Catalyst? I’m Going With the Latter

 

 

How’s your whiplash going? Mine sucks!!

I’m coming off a bad week. Actually, two weeks of funk.

Last week was the first time in over two years that I missed a Monday 5 p.m. blog post.

Couldn’t do it. The draft that I ran by my first-level “copyeditor” (my roommate of 49 1/2 years) got me a diplomatic groin kick.

As in: “Are you serious?”  “Who are you trying to be?” “Reel it in, Bucko!” “I don’t know you!”

Seems the article was a tad political and wholly judgmental – from an old dude who is in no position to be judging anybody on anything.

It had to be the whiplash.

I’m blaming COVID whiplash for resurrecting my arrogance, thinking my poison pen would move the societal needle. Never has, never will. Always backfires.

Which WHO/CDC directive do I believe or follow this week?

One rogue cop = elimination of police departments.  Whaaa?

A death in Minneapolis = free big-screen TVs at Walmart in California.

Stock market or wet market?

Hannity or Maddow? (Both are nuts!)

Open, don’t open.

Return to work, don’t return to work.

Retire, don’t retire.

All but the last two will fade away from our immediate consciousness. I’m guessing the last two represent a couple of the most pressing and lingering questions facing us going forward, especially in the 50-55+ demographic I enjoy working with as a life transition coach.

Emergence from adolescence?

Some have suggested that COVID may be a catalyst, perhaps the last vestiges and the most painful growing pains of us growing out of “adolescence” and maturing into “adulthood” as a society.

Surely, you’d think over two-and-a-half centuries would be long enough to mature into adulthood.

But then, maybe we need a few more adolescent tantrums to get there, to fully expose how we’ve lost our way culturally.

As much as anything our uncertainty reminds us that we have less control over life than we think we do, especially as we navigate through pervasive risk which may be the new normal as we get more globally interdependent, get sicker environmentally, and less healthy as individuals.

We’ve been swimming naked.

Warren Buffet famously said:

“It’s only when the tide goes out that you discover who’s been swimming naked.”

I know – he was talking about the scamming that goes on in the financial services industry. But, something in my gut tells me COVID is a receding tide and much of what we’ve become culturally is standing naked.

As in, what work has become for many.

As in our pre-occupation with retirement.

Are we finally beginning to drive a stake through the heart of meaningless employment and traditional retirement?

Let me extract some stats from this Forbes article that would say maybe we have at least bought the stake and the hammer when it comes to employment:

  • A recent study by CareerBuilder.com shows that a whopping 58 percent of managers said they didn’t receive any management training.
  • Fifty-eight percent of people say they trust strangers more than their own boss.
  • Seventy-nine percent of people who quit their jobs cite ‘lack of appreciation’ as their reason for leaving.
  • American workers forfeited nearly 50 percent of their paid vacation in 2017. The fear of falling behind is the number one reason people aren’t using their vacation time.
  • The Conference Board reports that 53 percent of Americans are currently unhappy at work.

Do we really want to continue to mix the above with one-hour commutes, drab-towers of cubicles, stupidly-high parking fees to pay for ecologically destructive lots, bad fast food at our desks, stress?

Better questions = better lives.

It’s a good time to remember that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the questions we ask of ourselves.

I was reminded of that this week trudging through a re-read of “Zen and the Art of Making a Living” in which author Laurence C. Boldt states:

“All imaginative journeys are prompted by questions. The mind runs on questions. Questions form a kind of skeletal structure upon which your life is built. New questions, deeply asked, will shape a new life.”

If nothing else, COVID is at least shaking trees and raising quality, transformational questions at a time when the quality of our health, relationships, and ecology are declining.  The quality of the questions starts getting really good and deep at mid-life and beyond for many.

I’m confident that COVID and the cousins that follow will move us down a path of more wholesome, purposeful, less-materialistic, planet-replenishing ways of life. We’re finding out quickly how we can do without what we thought we couldn’t do without that we busted our humps to avoid being without.

Aren’t we getting a big gulp of the shallowness of accumulation? Are we realizing that all this “getting” has an endpoint that we are approaching rapidly?  What if, instead of a $75,000 Beemer, I bought a $35,000 Honda Accord and two used Hondas for two families in need?

Are we finally going to acknowledge that retirement and the fast-track, at age 62, to a 1,000 unit high-rise retirement community – advertised as “cruises without the motion” but in actuality, cleverly-disguised virus petri-dishes  – might not be the wisest decision?

What is the story of your life?  Is there a “Quest?”

Your life – my life – is a story. And they are changing, this time in pretty big chunks.

Chances are if you are at or beyond midlife, you are asking these types of questions (Sourced from “Zen and the Art of Making a Living”)

  • Is there a story to my life?
  • What am I doing here?
  • Do I have a basic philosophy of life that is my own?
  • What is my part in this grand play of life?
  • How can I make a difference?
  • What do I want to do?  What must I do?
  • What can I realistically achieve in the span of my life?

Big, important questions, all accelerated by something we can’t even see.

Let me wrap with more from Laurence C. Boldt as he writes about crafting the story of your life:

“If I could look at it objectively, would I want to read the story of my life? Does it grab and hold my attention? Does it have the elements of a good story: challenges to overcome, growth, direction, confidence, a larger-than-self purpose? If the answer is no, then perhaps the main character needs development; the plot needs to be clarified, expanded, sharpened: or excitement needs to get generated by increasing the tension between what could be and what is. If you can honestly answer yes, then – where is your next chapter going?”

Be safe. Stay with the “guidance” despite the whiplash,

Crank up the intensity of the questions!

I, for one, have determined the main character in my story needs serious development. That’s why I write. You, as a reader, are a player in that development. I appreciate you and thank you for joining the list. And especially for your comments.  If this resonates – or not – let me know what you think with a comment below.

If you are not on the list, scoot over to www.makeagingwork.com and hop on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Bucket List Just Got Blown Up – Now What?

 

2020 COVID-19 bucket-list revision:

Daughter’s country club wedding

  • Backyard, limit to 20 guests, buy masks, cancel caterer, saved $45K.

Bahama/Mediterranean cruise

  • Vision of floating petri-dish won’t go away – cancel, try to recover deposit.

Early retirement

  • Hmmm – maybe these non- or semi-retirement heretics are on to something. Buy some books. Find therapist to help with the adjustment.

Upscale condo at upscale retirement community

  • Get off the waiting list, kiss off the deposit. Sounds very much like cruise petri-dish but without the motion.

Trips to Machu Picchu and Buddhist ruins, Sri Lanka

  • Masks in that heat – yuck! Neighbor’s 2-hour presentation of pictures of same – incredibly boring!! Replace with discovering our own state, driving.

BMW X-7

  • Timing belt and new tires for 2016 MDX wins this one.

Use current bucket list to start charcoal grill

  • Start over – refocus on what’s important.
  • Don’t expect a return to “normal” – what is normal anyway?

I’m not much of a bucket-list guy. It goes with my stoic personality and increasingly hermit-like and insufferable nature. Get me my $5,000 Martin acoustic guitar and I’m pretty well complete. Oh, and a set of custom-fitted Taylormades/Pings/Callaways while you’re filling the bucket. I won’t bother you again after that.

I get a strange satisfaction nudging my decades-old Ford Exploder (that’s not a typo because it could, any moment) past 180,000 miles.

I’ve never understood buying one vehicle for what you could buy three Honda Accords.

So, I’m not having to adjust much but I know most are – and I’m sympathetic. Bucket lists have a goal-setting tone to them, positive visualization, hope and encouragement.

Until they don’t. And I suspect they are now just the opposite. And in need of the revisit.

I suggest it’s time for the revisit and a capitulation to the fact that this “new normal”, whatever it ends up being, is not going to support heavy consumerist bucket lists. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gonna change.

An outside perspective

I’m lateraling the ball this week to one of my favorite bloggers, Susan Williams at Boomingencore.com. Her latest post (see it here) was full of gems, including a 12-minute podcast interview with Dr. Sean Hayes, a clinical psychologist who shares some important perspectives on where we are, including dealing with bucket lists.

Here’s a link to the entire interview. I think you’ll find it enlightening and helpful.

Do you have a bucket list? If so, are you revisiting it? How has your perspective changed regarding a bucket list? Tell us where you are – we’d love to get your feedback.