On Becoming a “Sage” – A Podcast

I had the good fortune recently to be asked to do a guest interview with Jann Freed, PhD, on her “Becoming a Sage” podcast.  Jann is a well-known business consultant specializing in strategic planning, leadership development, and life planning.

You can learn about her and her services at www.leadingwithwisdom.net.

Jann liked my guest post on Next Avenue entitled “Your Second Half Should Be Filled With These Four-letter Words” and asked me if I would be interested in an interview for her monthly podcast.

It was an easy decision to make.

It was particularly flattering to be included amongst the collection of Jann’s podcasts that included such notable names in the field of successful aging and life planning as Marci Alboher, VP, Strategic Communications at Encore.org; Ashton Applewhite, author of the best-seller “This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism“; Chip Conley, AirBnB executive and author of an exciting new book “Wisdom @ Work: The Making of a Modern Elder“; George Schofield, designated a Top 50 Influencer in Aging by Next Avenue and author of “How Do I Get There from Here?: Planning for Retirement When the Old Rules No Longer Apply“, and others.

Jann and I covered a lot of ground.  Click on the podcast title below, listen and let me know what you think.

 

Becoming a Sage: Gary Foster

 

Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

It’s Time to “Take Back and Own” Your Elderhood

How did you react when you received your AARP card just before your fiftieth birthday?

Were you:

  • Surprised and shocked.
  • Flattered
  • Excited
  • Ambivalent
  • Pissed

Surprised?  We probably don’t want to know how much they know about us.

Flattered?  Just a thought – you might want to raise the bar.

Excited?  You love those weekly Bed Bath and Beyond 20% discount coupons also, don’t you?

Ambivalent?  Good choice.

Pissed?  Good –I’m not alone.

In one trip to the mailbox, I was slammed, culturally and without my permission, into an insulting, miscast category entitled  “elderly”.

I refuse to contribute to this insurance-company-in-disguise.

Yes, it defies all logic that I would pass up a 12% discount on ParkRideFly USA airport parking. Or a 15% discount on Philip Lifeline medical alert service or save on an eye exam at Lenscrafters.

But, I’m sorry.  I just haven’t gotten over the insult that arrived twenty-eight years ago with that AARP letter.

I guess that kinda makes me seem like one of those grumpy, crass, hard-headed ol’ farts I swore I’d never become.

I’m working on fixing that.


So it was that when I got a mere one chapter into Chip Conley’s new book “Wisdom at Work” (reference my 10/21/19 article) that I got affirmation that my resistance to that premature elderly tag will have served me well.

If you’ve been hanging around my weekly diatribes for a while, you’ve no doubt detected that I seem to have a new hero every week or so.  Well, this week – and I think for a good while longer – it’s Chip Conley.

I wrote two weeks ago about his Modern Elder Academy, a “boutique resort for midlife learning and reflection” and his coining of a new cultural portal he labeled “middlescence”.

My intrigue with his inventiveness motivated me to Amazon Prime his book and dig in.

So glad I did.

I didn’t need to go past Chapter 1 to know that Conley’s is a voice and message that needs to be heard – across generations.  He is saying so much more eloquently and authoritatively what I’ve been waltzing and bumbling around with for most of my two years with this blog.

At the heart is the message that it’s time to:

“liberate the ‘elder’ from the word ‘elderly’.  ‘Elderly’ refers solely to years lived on the planet.  ‘Elder’ refers to what one has done with those years.  Many people age without synthesizing wisdom from their experience.  But elders reflect on what they’ve learned and incorporate it into the legacy they offer younger generations.  The elderly are older and often dependent upon society and, yet, separated from the young.”

Conley reminds us that the average age of someone moving into a nursing home is eighty-one vs sixty-five in the 1950s and that this leaves a lot of people not yet elderly but as elders.

He encourages us to “take back the term elder” and own it as a modern definition of someone with great wisdom especially at a time we need it.

I loved this choice of words:

“Let’s make it a ‘hood’ that’s not scary.  Just as a child stares into adulthood with intrigue, wouldn’t it be miraculous if an adult peered into elderhood with excitement?”

Count for me how many, amongst your family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, that you think will “peer into elderhood with excitement”.  I’m guessing you didn’t need the fingers on both hands.

While you are at it, count up the number of millennials and GenX’ers you know (if you know any at all) that are excited about the same thing i.e. about us being anything more than irrelevant “elderlies.”  Even fewer fingers, right?

Conley brings a different but refreshing, evidence-based perspective on how and why this all can change; on how generativity can close the gap; on how we need those digi-head millenials as much as they need us wisdom keepers.

It’s time for you and me to become more intentional about our “wisdom worker status” and to redefine our third-age as one of “mature idealism.”

Consider Conley’s perspective on this:

“For many of us, the baseball game of our career will likely go into extra innings.  So maybe it’s time to get excited about the fact that most sporting matches get more interesting in the last half or quarter.  By the same token, theatergoers sit on the edge of their seat during the last act of a play when everything finally starts to makes sense. And marathon runners get an endorphin high as they reach the final miles of their event.  Could it be that life gets more interesting, not less, closer to the end?”

I’ll wrap with these two powerful quotes from the first chapter of Conley’s book.

“If you can cause maturity to become aspirational again, you’ve changed the world”.  Ken Dychtwald, Age Wave

“In spite of illness, in spite even of the arch-enemy, sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”  Edith Wharton

Anybody up for joining this “elder revolution” and become Modern Elders?  There’s a lot of room.

Welcome to “Make Aging Work” – An Update

This past week, I finally got to a task that I’ve delayed for too long – an update to the “About” page on my website.  So I’m grabbing a week to share the update with my blog readership.  If you’ve been there, the change isn’t big.  If you haven’t, I hope it will help put my vision/quest into clear perspective for you. and encourage you to stay along for, and contribute to, the ride. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Welcome to Make Aging Work!

I think I know why you are here.  You’ve blown past the 50-year threshold.  You’re coming to grips with the fact that there are fewer days ahead than behind.  There’s a growing uneasiness in the gut.

  • Perhaps you are feeling unfulfilled, drifting, without a clear purpose for your life.
  • Maybe you can sense that your 30-year career may soon be in jeopardy (merger/acquisition, youth movement, technology disruption, new management, etc.).
  • Or even worse, that shoe has fallen and you are unemployed in a very tough job market for older workers.
  • Maybe you are gainfully, safely employed but realizing that a dream of “traditional retirement” is out of reach because of poor savings habits or erosion of what you did accumulate and know that you are going to have to work beyond the “normal” working age.
  • Or maybe you have wisely concluded that traditional retirement is a 20th-century relic, an unnatural occurrence in nature and a guaranteed path to a shorter, unfulfilled life. You want to “live long, die short”, healthy, productive and purposeful to the end.
  • Maybe it’s the reality that a legacy and leaving a meaningful footprint is slipping away as the time horizon shortens.
  • Or perhaps you are one of the few that has a healthy nest egg and have entered into “early retirement” and want to ignite your entrepreneurial fire, start your own business or in some other way continue to contribute and be of service.

Hello, I’m Gary Allen Foster, executive recruiter, retirement and career transition coach, writer, and speaker.

Believe me.  Whatever category fits, you are not alone!

I’ve had the opportunity to work with folks in all of the above categories, all moving into and through the “third age” of life – that uncertain, uncharted space between middle-age (end of career and/or end of parenting) and true old age.

Chasing the linear life plan

I’m an over-75 “portfolio career” guy.  The father of two and grandfather of three, I’m approaching a golden anniversary with a wonderful lady who deserves more than what she got with me.

I escaped from rural Wyoming and traversed the country and several industries in various sales and sales management positions across 45+ years.  I drank the traditional linear-life-model kool-aid in college.  You know, the 20-40-20-year plan, of education, work/family and leisure that was – and still is – drilled into us by our parents,  educational system, and the financial services industry – get a degree, get a job, get a family, get a house, get two cars, get a pension, get a gold watch, get a coffin.

My manufacturer colored me with a pretty deep attitude of skepticism and iconoclasm.  On my journey – around my mid-forties – it led me to question this traditional linear-life concept, helped along by life experiences and the insights of the pioneers in personal development such as Earl Nightingale, Dennis Waitley, Brian Tracey, Tony Robbins, and others.

The message seemed consistent:  those who lived the longest and achieved extraordinary levels of success, freedom, and contribution in their lives didn’t follow the “wisdom of the masses.”  They were outliers who operated outside the traditional guideposts and never left the creative and contributory process.

This influence, some personal and professional experiences and my discomfort in the confining environs of corporate life led me to succumb to the allure of owning and running my own business at age 60 – a bit late for a major life transition, so says conventional wisdom.

I made a voluntary exit from a successful telecom sales career of 17 years to become an independent recruiter, a 15-year journey that has had more than its share of highs and lows.

Entrepreneur adventure

The move to “entrepreneurship” was exciting and exhilarating with its freedom and control – for about six months! Then reality hit!

I overestimated – as most aspirants do – my entrepreneurial skills and equally underestimated what it takes to start a small business, especially as a solo operator.

The recruiting business helped me, however, develop a deeper understanding of what makes others tick – or not.  And it unveiled for me a passion and purpose that corporate life and the linear life indoctrination had covered over.

That passion is helping people find answers to difficult later-life questions.  Not because I have all the answers.  I’ve learned that everyone has the answers already inside and just need someone to help nudge them out.

My 75+ years of life and business experiences, along with a voracious appetite for reading all things involving personal growth, has helped equip me to be a catalyst to help people hatch the potential they have been roosting on most of their lives.

What’s your rulebook?

I’ve concluded we take life too seriously.   And we play much of it with the wrong rules – rules from a societal/cultural rule book that brings us to “shoulda, woulda, coulda” thinking.   Rules that are stacked against us being able to realize our full potential.

Nowhere does this become more apparent than when we reach that “over-the-hill” plateau of 50 and realize that we likely have more days behind than ahead.

Perspectives on lots of things begin to evolve, none more profound than the aforementioned classic “What is life and why am I here?”  We fear what would be said – or not said – at our eulogy.  We begin to accept that the weather will be the main determinant of how many attend our funeral.  Our answer to the question “What is my legacy?” is way too close to “insignificant”.

A quixotic mission

None of this may be important to you.  But I’m guessing if you’ve read this far, something is resonating.  My thing is perhaps a quixotic mission of helping folks over 50 adopt a new perspective on how to finish strong, to finish with purpose, to live longer, live better and live with purpose, to be willing to reinvent themselves. In other words, to Make Aging Work and Live Big and Age Little.

I help mid-lifers navigate a very tricky job market or to pivot their careers to something that is profitable as well as purposeful.

I help pre-retirees and early retirees avoid the pitfalls of an unplanned retirement and design a “third act” life filled with purpose and fulfillment.

I speak and write publicly to the issues of better health, greater longevity, and purposeful retirement because I believe we need to elevate our awareness of the aging process and be a stronger voice against the negative stereotypes of aging.  And we need to stop allowing the deeply ingrained concept of “traditional, labor-to-leisure” retirement to take us down the path of mental, physical and spiritual deterioration that shortens our lives.

That’s the purpose behind this blog and the speaking I do on these topics.

Retirement or un-retirement?  Landing or take-off?

Shockingly, more than 50% of Boomers are financially unprepared to take traditional retirement. For those that can, 70% enter retirement with absolutely no non-financial retirement plan.

Fortunately, we are seeing a growing wave of “third-agers” who are more interested in “rewiring” than “retiring”, viewing their second half as a chance for another take-off, not a landing.

This site is intended to be a resource for finding answers to the myriad questions that arise as we move into what can be an exciting second growth period of our life.

Rough sailing ahead

Our demographic faces significant challenges ahead: a pervasive youth-oriented culture, rampant ageism, a horribly broken healthcare system, general healthcare illiteracy, government disarray, profit-driven corporate deafness, eroded retirement accounts and continued acceptance of harmful 20th-century myths about the aging process.

A collective voice

I believe strongly that the answers to these challenges lie in the collective knowledge, experiences, and wisdom of our demographic.

I want this site to be both a voice that you want to hear and a valuable resource that will help address these issues of health, longevity, “money and meaning” in later life, “purpose and profitability” in the second half, and intentional living to the end.

Your input, feedback, and requests for ideas, answers, and solutions are what will make it that.

I look forward to active engagement with you and becoming a valued resource.

This is getting to be the “berries”!

Wishing You the Best!

Thanks for being a loyal subscriber and reader in 2018!  

Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons.

www.makeagingwork.com

Happy Thanksgiving!!

A friend of mine sent me this video filmed at the 2005 Super Bowl.  I share it as a reminder of how things have changed for us culturally in a mere 13 years.  How refreshing to see players, black and white, singing the national anthem and respecting the flag.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving, let’s strive to bring back that unity and respect.

We’re stalled – but we’re still great!

How To Make Aging Work

I added to my hero list this week.

During another boring 24-Hour Fitness workout this week, my aging I-pod Classic served up a James Altucher podcast interview with William Shatner of Startrek, Boston Legal, and Priceline fame.

Now 87, Shatner looks 20-years younger and is living like his hair is on fire (yes, he still has plenty)  – writing books; doing a country-western album, a blues album, and a Christmas album; touring internationally; producing, directing and performing on NYC Broadway stage; speaking.

It’s obvious Shatner doesn’t spend much time thinking about his endpoint. He’s too busy.

He subscribes to George Burn’s viewpoint on dying:

“How can I die?  I’m booked”

And

“As long as you’re working, you stay young.”

One of Shatner’s opening comments was that “all the 87 year-olds I know are dead. They didn’t follow my advice – I told them ‘don’t die’, but they died.  Why did they die?  Because they changed their mind about living”.

No mystery to him about it.  “They decided they were through.”

He’s far from through.

Try the schedule described above and see if you could make it happen, at any age, let alone 87.

It strikes me that Shatner epitomizes the merits of refusing to retire and of continuing to work. He validates what we need more of to sustain – in fact, build – our vigor and vitality as we enter and move through the third stage of life.

For example:

  1. Doing something we’ve never done before. Just a few Shatner examples: c&w, blues and Christmas album; interview and dinner with Stephen Hawkings shortly before Hawking’s death; writing a book.
  2. Staying physically active e.g. touring globally. I’m sure he does more physically – he appears to be in better shape than the loose-cannon, Denny Crane, in Boston Legal.
  3. Challenging ourselves mentally. Shatner is no slouch here.  Honestly, I bailed on the podcast when Altucher added world-renowned theoretical physicist, Dr. Michio Kaku, to the conversation and the three of them went off into “woo-woo” land talking about quantum physics, string field theory, hyperspace and the “physics of the impossible.”  Shatner’s mental acuity and ability to not only engage in this type of dialog but to lead it, was amazing.  What happened to the myth about declining brain-power as we age? (BTW, Kaku is no spring chicken – he’s 71).
  4. Always having something that isn’t complete. It’s apparent from Shatner’s conversation that he doesn’t hesitate to start something new while he has other things going.  He’s not concerned about each activity being perfect – in fact, admits to a number of stinkers in his prolific list of projects.  For him, it’s just constant forward movement. No living from the rear-view mirror for him.

On this last point, I’m reminded of one of the principles espoused by world-renowned entrepreneurial/business coach Dan Sullivan, founder of Strategic Coach.  Sullivan opposes completing one’s life.  He argues persuasively that our culturally-infused notion that it’s important to “wrap up one’s life” and “leave a legacy” is like planning for a funeral and is counter-productive and life-shortening.

This leave-a-legacy mindset is a product of what Sullivan calls one of the many “general narratives” that our culture instills in us that rob us of the potential we can bring forward into this third stage of life.  It’s a general narrative that says “I’ve only got 70 or 80 years on this mudball so I should start winding down as I approach that period of my life.”

That’s giving up on one’s uniqueness and on one’s self as a creator.  It’s apparent that Shatner and Sullivan don’t buy into that general narrative.

At 74, Sullivan’s whole idea for his future– and for the professional and personal lives of his coaching students – is an “ever-expanding incompleteness” as opposed to bringing life to some sort of legacy.  He teaches “always expanding one’s present into a bigger future” with “each tomorrow starting at a higher level.”  Any legacy – if it were important – will take care of itself.

We waste energy worrying about when the end is coming. It’s not for us to determine – nature owns that and has her own unpredictable timetable.

Sullivan intends to leave a total mess of in-process creative projects for his team to straighten out or complete when he checks out – a rather refreshing new spin on the concept of a legacy.  I suspect this is a concept that resonates with Shatner as well.

Shatner, Sullivan and probably hundreds or thousands of other third-act participants are busting several myths (or “general narratives”) that need busting.   To name a few:

  1. That creativity dies as we age.
  2. That brainpower deteriorates as we age and senescence is automatic.
  3. That “labor-to-leisure” retirement is good for the body and the soul.
  4. That unhappiness accompanies growing old. (NOTE: the nadir of unhappiness is age 47 – see this article.)

Fascination and motivation lie available for the taking for all of us by creating every day; by striving to make our future bigger than our past regardless of age.  It starts with rediscovering what we are uniquely gifted to be able to do and linking that with a vision and sense of purpose for this third act.

I’ll wrap by adding to the overuse of an overused but important cliché:

It’s never too late to start, but always too early to quit.

Do you have a unique giftedness deep inside that cultural expectations/general narratives have stolen or covered over – one that you can resurrect and apply against a vision for your future that is bigger than your past?  Does the concept of an “incomplete life” versus a “legacy” resonate with you?   Your thoughts on either or both are welcome – scroll down and give us your thoughts.

Retirement: Where Good Habits Go to Die and Bad Habits Flourish.

 

 

For starters this week, click on and read this humorous article “What Day Is it? The Muddled Confusion of a Recent Retiree.” 

New blogger and recent retiree, Howard Fishman, takes a very refreshing swipe at the realities of transitioning from labor-to-leisure, vocation-to-vacation.

Fishman makes a seminal statement in the article (the bolding  is mine):

“Since retirement, I find myself awash in days bearing little difference from days that came before. Few benchmarks punctuate time. Though busy with a hundred things on an inexhaustible “honey-do” list, nothing seems particularly celebrated if compared to the highs experienced by successful career accomplishments. There’s no discernable movement on my emotional Richter scale.”

I’m reading between the lines on Fishman’s article. This is a guy with an exemplary track record in executive management at the Fortune 500 level. Could we agree that he is whimsically lamenting a lost identity? From Richter scale strokes to no Richter scale. From a schedule with substance and impact to a – hmm, what schedule?


Many enter retirement because they’ve somehow been convinced to want to get away from having their personal Richter scale moved, even though, in the long run, positive Richter scale movement is certainly healthier than no movement.

 

Let’s be honest, most people retire “from something”, rarely “to something”.

Unless, of course, the interpretation of “to something” is sleeping-in, marathon TV, garage cleanup, dog walking and golf with the same un-benchmarked cronies every week.

As a culture, we are deeply brainwashed to believe that retirement is a life-portal entitlement – or obligation. To not retire is to be tagged as “unfortunate”; to retire early is to be tagged with a “badge of honor.” To admit that you are “flunking” retirement will rarely leave the lips of a retiree, especially from the male-type.

To denounce retirement is blasphemous. It’s an attack on one of the strongest – and biologically/emotionally/physically unsound – mindsets in our culture. Take this from a seasoned blasphemer.

Lost identity may be one of the most common, most unplanned-for, and most devastating of the myriad downsides to a traditional retirement.

Six months ago, you were:

  • “Somebody” to a large group
  • Titled
  • Respected
  • Turned to for advice
  • Tightly scheduled with deadlined projects
  • Learning something new continuously to thrive in your job
  • Bringing in a paycheck as a sign of achievement.

Today:

  • You are “somebody” to spouse and progeny, and not much more.
  • Your title? Retired – which derives from the French verb “retirer” that means to “retreat or go backward”.
  • Still respected – but, as with “somebody”, that circle of respect has shrunk mightily. Face it, the people who respected you at work forgot about you 60 minutes after the last piece of retirement cake was served. They are moving on. And, to your surprise, they aren’t calling you to “stay in touch” which they promised to do as they sucked down your retirement cake.
  • The advice you are asked for now? Probably not brain stretchers. Things like “what’s the best way to clip the dog’s toenails” or “who do you recommend for a tree-trimming service?” or “would you recommend a 20-degree or 23-degree loft hybrid?”
  • You’re mostly unscheduled. After all, that’s why you retired, right? For the freedom of controlling your own time. The honey-do list is done by noon, and you find yourself wandering through the garage looking for something to break so you can fix it. No magnitude, no hard deadlines to challenge your talents, lots of open time to be sucked into intellectual pursuits such as the 49 hours-per-week the average retiree spends zoning out in front of the TV.
  • Learning? Be honest, you’re taking a sabbatical from learning, which, for many, becomes permanent. A been-there, done-that attitude prevails.
  • No paycheck – and the question “what am I worth now?” It’s all going out, nothing coming in.

The emerging dark sides of retirement that are the consequences of the above are well documented. I’m not going to bother you with them again. Click on my May 14 blog “Avoiding Retirement Chaos” for a refresher.

BEWARE the free time.

A study from Taiwan said the key to a happy retirement isn’t how much free time you have, it’s how you manage whatever free time you have. Free time -the very thing we covet in moving to retirement – is a Trojan horse. Free time can lead to loss of good habits which in turn, over the long term, can lead to early mental and physical deterioration.

Good habits like: regular exercise; social engagement; healthy diet; continued learning; service to others, spiritual development.

An unplanned, no-purpose retirement can move us to the “live short, die long” lifestyle that pervades our society, where post-retirement health and vitality gradually fade away and prolonged frailty sets in. It’s largely a choice resulting from the misuse of our time and true talents during this period between middle age and true old age.

 

A new prestige

As Boomers move into and past middle-age, we are seeing a gradual shift away from the notion that retirement makes sense. I predict that no-retirement/un-retirement or, at a minimum, semi-retirement will become the new prestige.

Howard Fishman perhaps illustrates the new model – one unwilling to “go quietly into the night nursing home.”

Six months into his “traditional retirement”, he admits to needing a “do-over” and a “decompression from the whirlpool of work.” He has realized that “it’s less about how to fill the days and more about self-fulfillment to be found in those days.”

And his do-over will include “finding that old box of Crayolas and start to draw outside of the lines – just for spite and just once, for kicks – like that crazy Kindergarten kid who imagined that the sun and planets all revolved around him.”

Ah yes – resurrecting the innate creativity siphoned off by 30+ years of meeting cultural expectations.

For the Howard Fishman’s, it’s more likely to be a third-act lifestyle filled with:

• Mentoring, not movies
• Teaching, not TV
• Learning, not Lazy-Boy
• Biking, not bingo
• Philanthropy, not pickleball
• Vocation, not vacation
• Contrarian, not conformist
• Playground, not park bench

Good habits, leaving no room for bad habits.

Retired? Relative to the above thoughts, how has your retirement gone? What can you share for prospective or early retirees that can help them make this “third act” life portal the happiest, most fulfilling and productive time of life? Scroll down and leave us your thoughts – or email me at gary@makeagingwork.com. Or better yet, call me 720-344-7784 – I’d love to chat with you about this.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Am I the only one that feels like 2018 just started yesterday?  It’s crazy to wake up and realize almost 75% of the year is gone.  Especially when you put it up against all the grand plans you had back in December or January about what this year was going to be all about.

Well, for me, some of it happened, some didn’t, some still might.

What did happen that I’m grateful for is that I completed a full year of blogging – something that I wouldn’t have believed would happen 15 months ago.

This issue is my 52nd. 

And it will be very brief.

It’s a THANK YOU for being a subscriber!!  I am grateful that you have hung in with me and provided me with feedback on my content.

I hope you’ll stay tuned in and continue to let me know what I can do better and what other topics you would like to have me research and write about.

My most popular articles

I scanned my 51 articles to see which was the most popular and wanted to share that info with you so you can check them out in case you may have missed them – or re-read them if you didn’t.

Here are the top three most popular over the last year.  Enjoy!  I look forward to providing information that you find valuable.  Please let me know if I’m not.

Your Second Half Should Be Filled with These Four-letter Words

The Dirty Dozen of Accelerated Aging

Are You a Fugitive From Yourself?

What’s Your Life Tempo – Crescendo or Diminuendo?

I’m a slightly above-average guitar player.  One would hope so since I started playing in 1959.  We’re talking Bill Haley and the Comets and early Elvis time zone, folks.

About a dozen years ago, I discovered a player by the name of Tommy Emmanuel.  If you are an acoustic guitar player or aficionado, you know this native Australian to be unarguably the greatest acoustic player on the planet.  Chet Atkins, a Tommy mentor, endowed him with a Certified Guitar Player designation – one of only four or five such crowns awarded by Atkins before he passed.

I consider Tommy E. my guitar mentor.  I have nearly every one of his CD’s.  I’m learning from his instructional DVDs and tablature books.  I’ve attended every performance he has had in the Denver area over the last 10 years.  I’ve actually met him twice, have two autographed instructional books and have a photo with him (it’s a bad cell phone photo so it’s staying in the camera gallery – trust me on it!)

To give you an idea of this man’s talent (and in hopes of adding you to his fan club) click this link to one of his masterful creations.  As a testament to his talent and popularity, you can find hundreds of YouTube videos of his performances.

One thing I’ve observed is that Tommy seems to live his life in constant crescendo, which for you non-musicians means “an increase in intensity”.  He is a prolific songwriter, active teacher and does over 300 live performances a year worldwide.  Now in his 60’s, he doesn’t seem to be slowing down.

Despite being able to do things on an acoustic guitar that are often mind-blowing, Tommy’s credo is “to be better tomorrow than I am today.”  I remember him saying that he doesn’t let a day go by without working on and refining his craft.  This after nearly six decades playing the instrument.

When he is performing, Tommy sometimes will pour on the “crescendo” and leave the planet with his incredible technique, creativity, and mastery of the instrument.  I find myself kind of tuning him out when he soars into the stratosphere.

I like him best when he pours his heart and incredible connection with his music into his softer, slower songs – like “Questions” or “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” or “Digger’s Waltz”.  That’s when Tommy reverts to “diminuendo”, which means “a decrease in loudness and intensity.”  He lowers the volume and the pace but without sacrificing the emotion.

I thought of Tommy this morning as I was reviewing some notes I had made in a journal a few years ago while reading Steven Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.” Covey asks: “Are you living your life in ‘crescendo’ or ‘diminuendo’?”

His definitions for the terms, however, stray a bit from the musical meanings:

  • Crescendo – greater energy and volume, strength and striving
  • Diminuendo – lower the volume, back off, play it safe, become passive, whisper away your life

Tommy E. may “lower the volume” but he doesn’t back off, play it safe, show passivity and has by no means been whispering away his life. He is one of the most ubiquitous, energetic musicians out there.

But I get where Covey is going with the question.  Are you winding up, or winding down?

I’ve asked myself:  at 76, is sustainable crescendo possible or realistic?  Should I accept Covey’s definition of diminuendo as a given, a necessity, a rite, an assumption, an automatic in my life as many seem to do?

Our culture would have us play to diminuendo as we age.  The signs are all around us: a continuing (but diminishing) emphasis on the unnatural concept of retirement; a proliferation of retirement communities; youth-oriented media and institutions; open and rampant age discrimination.

I’m taking a stand for the crescendo role.

But I’ll admit it’s harder than I thought to make the leap.  Naps come way too easy each day; the drive to seek adventure and newness has a pretty thick crust of “you’re too old” enculturation to cut through.  Learning is as deep but takes a good bit longer.  A look in the mirror in the morning generates the question: “Do I really want to put new strings on that??”

But I’ve “whispered away” enough of my life already.  Got some serious catching up to do – and that takes crescendo.

Crescendo into our 70’s, 80’s, 90’s is possible.  We have a multitude of examples to turn to.  There are the notable outliers like billionaires Ken Langone, T. Boone Pickens and Warren Buffett that I wrote about in my 7/2/18 blog “Time For a New Cultural Portal”.  But there are thousands of centenarians – the fastest growing segment of our population percentage-wise – that will attest to the validity and empowerment of never-ending crescendo.

When we give in to diminuendo, we might as well – in the words of Dan Sullivan – “send an email to the universe that it can start taking the parts back.”

Tommy’s crescendo attitude and his creative perfectionism are highly inspirational.  But, someday, the universe will take Tommy’s parts back – I hope it isn’t in my lifetime.   But when it does, I’d bet on it happening while he is soaring “off the planet” in one of his musical creations, not slowing down for a minute.

Shouldn’t that be how we all should go?