Is There a Vertical Pasture in Your Future?

Photo by James Day on Unsplash

I drive by a vertical pasture every Wednesday on my return home from my weekly senior men’s golf league encounter (I call my golf an encounter because after 40 years I still don’t have “game”).

You’ve seen them. You probably have one close to you. If not, chances are fairly high that one will eventually be under construction in your vicinity.

Vertical pastures have increased over the last couple of decades into a multi-billion dollar industry with significant growth forecasts because of shifting age demographics.

You won’t see them labeled or advertised as vertical pastures – that’s my (perverted?) description. The industry calls them Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC) or the newer label, Life Plan Communities (LPN).

I’m guessing the LPN tag has emerged to accommodate the declining appeal of the concept of retirement amongst the CCRC/LPN target market – baby boomers. Much like AARP presciently changing its name to just AARP, no longer the American Association of Retired Persons.

Perversion explained

OK, why vertical pasture?

In our youth-obsessed culture, it’s common to hear the “youngsters” suggest that older people, like you and me, should be put out to pasture, disappear from the mainstream, get out of the way, and stop using up valuable space and oxygen.

Unfortunately, many of us of advancing age seem to be quite accommodating of the idea.

My wife and I have had conversations with friends of retirement age who are planning to accommodate this banishment by finishing out their years in one of the rapidly expanding CCRCs in our area offered up by one of the for-profit companies that have become very successful at exploiting this mindset.

It’s a pretty straightforward concept. You sell your home of 20,30,40 years and use the equity to “buy” an apartment in one of their large buildings and enjoy “free” dining, exercise facilities, a heavy selection of social activities. access to 24×7 healthcare, and a glide path to the cemetery (I don’t think the headstone is included).

That promise of a smooth transition through to your terminal frailty and demise accommodates a business plan built on turning over your apartment to the next person(s) attracted to the same glide path.

Not cheap, as you may imagine, but attractive nonetheless. According to commercial real estate service firm CBRE, the average initial payment is $329,000, but it can top $1 million in some communities. Once a resident and depending on the model, monthly maintenance or service fees in some CCRC models may run from $2,000 to $4,000.

I will admit, when you check out websites and other promotional material, it sounds like a pretty comfortable way to finish out. What’s not to like about not having to cook or do yard work and house repair, to have access to mind and body stimulating activities, to be steps away from healthcare professionals, to be able to hang with lots of other “olders?”

Oops!

That’s where the appeal diminishes, for me at least. To be clustered and sequestered in a compact area devoid of anyone that’s not inclined to want to talk about anything other than colonoscopies, hip/knee/shoulder replacements, arthritis, (I call them “organ recitals”) or bore me with their pictures of their grandkids and myriad travels to exotica.

Sorry, it just doesn’t resonate with me.

But, I’m reminded by my roommate of 50 years that snootiness becomes me.

It’s a vertical pasture

I’ve been witnessing the growth of one of these facilities in our community. What started out 20 years ago as a couple of two-story facilities, has grown now to 15 massive buildings, most of them six or seven stories high. They have one more seven-story facility planned before they complete their master plan.

It’s a community of 2,800, soon to go well beyond 3,000.

How is this not a vertical pasture?

  • Layer-upon-layer of warehoused folks of advancing age all turned out to pasture and seeking sequestered sameness.
  • Choosing to limit the opportunity for extended engagement with anyone under 40.
  • Isolating from GenX or GenY energy, technology savvy, cultural awareness, and perspectives.
  • Accommodating the cultural indoctrination that says 65- or 70-plus requires a wind-down.
  • Abiding the ageist attitude suggesting a move to the sidelines.

A land-locked cruise ship

I once engaged a resident of one of these vertical pastures and asked what it was like living there. His response: “It’s like being on a cruise without the motion.”

I’ve heard them referred to as “Disneyland for Adults.” I suspect there is no limit to the monikers that creative marketers can tag to these facilities.

That idea will appeal to a lot of people.

Count me out.

You won’t catch me on a cruise. Squeezed into a 10’x10′ room on a floating virus petri-dish with 5 times more people than the town I grew up in? Well, I’ll continue to pass, thank you. Growing up with mega-elbow room in rural Wyoming still dogs me.

For this resident, however, it seems the only difference between the cruise and the vertical pasture is trading in a two-week 10’x10′ for long-term 1500 sq. ft. and no Dramamine.

Why so harsh?

I know – I’m guilty of criticizing an experience I’ve never had.

I’ve witnessed and fully appreciate the damaging effect of loneliness and isolation. This environment can rightfully claim a solution for that as its deepest benefit.

Perhaps the strongest marketing appeal is their core slogan: “We create instant community.”

My issue with this whole concept is that it seems to exploit the one remaining unacknowledged “ism” -ageism. The “-ism” that says “You’re done.” “You’re stale.” “You’re slow.” “You’re in the way.” “Go away.”

Part of me resents that we stack millions of hours of this wisdom, talent, and experience on top of each other and reduce the outlet for its potential to advance an ailing culture.

I resent that we choose to profit from sequestering accumulated talent, experience, and wisdom and disconnect it from youngers that can grow and benefit from that accumulation.

Maybe there is more that goes on in one of these facilities than I know.

Maybe I’m missing something.

Guess what? There is! And I am!

It occurred to me that before I start dumping any more vitriol on this concept that I better do some research.

So, I arranged a visit at the vertical pasture that I drive by every Wednesday. This past week, I had a two-hour tour and conversation with a very professional, veteran sales associate at this upscale facility. I was impressed – and somewhat blown away.

This is one impressive facility!

Gorgeous grounds. Incredible amenities. Pools, spas, exercise facilities, restaurants/cafes at every turn, meeting rooms, amphitheaters, all of top-notch quality and atmosphere.

Resort quality.

$500/sq.ft.

The amenities need to be good because, at this facility, you’ll pony up from $300-$500/sq.ft. to get a place to sleep. $900,000 for a 1700 sq.ft., two-bedroom plus den. They claim that all but 10% of that will come back to you in the end. They provide the services and make a profit on the 10% they keep, as I understand it. I’ve probably got that wrong, but, any way you slice it, that ends up being a pasture for pretty well-heeled participants.

Plenty of youthful interaction?

I had to broach the issue of interaction with the younger generation at this facility.

My tour guide assured me that, with 800 staff, many of which are high school age, that there was plenty of interaction with the younger set.

I can imagine the extent of that: “Did you want the broccoli with your sole? Or do you prefer the mixed green salad?”

I’m skeptical that there is an effort to promote extended, non-transactional interplay between residents and younger generations.

But maybe someone who has been a resident in a similar facility can set me straight.

It’s right for many.

I ‘spect I’m on the outside on this. These vertical pastures seem to me to be the epitome of comfort, convenience. and the unfortunate conformity that takes tons of talent, experience, and wisdom to the “north 40” and out of circulation.

A sexagenarian/septuagenarian/octogenarian is a terrible thing to waste.

How far off base am I? Let me know your thoughts – or experiences –  with a comment below or an email to gary@makeagingwork.com.

If you haven’t joined the tribe, join our list to receive a new article every week at www.makeagingwork.com and receive a free ebook “Achieving Your Full-Life Potential: Five Easy Steps to Living Longer, Healthier, and With More Purpose.”

OK, You Hit 60 – Are You Now “Elderly?” Or “Middle-aged?” Does it Matter?

Image by Stefano Ferrario from Pixabay

I remember 60 well.

It’s when I proactively stumbled out of corporate life after 35 years and into my own business, wrongly assuming that I was equipped with even a modicum of what it takes to succeed in the entrepreneurial world.

I certainly didn’t consider myself “elderly” at that point. Still don’t today, 6 months short of entering my ninth decade.

We seem to struggle with where to put ourselves these days since many of us have been granted a “longevity bonus” of 20, 30, 40 years.

I’ll opt for “modern elder”

I’ve written before about the “modern elder” moniker conceived by entrepreneur Chip Conley, author of “Wisdom at Work : The Making of a Modern Elder”. It fits well and I can carry it to my ridiculous goal of reaching 112 1/2.

It’s really just about the mindset and ignoring the pejorative monikers our youth culture and government prefer to slap on us.

Yeah, my cohort thinks I’m nuts and in denial. It seems, if one is beholden to stats and data, I’m both.

I can roll with it.

On the age scale determined by the average life span in America, my last rites were performed several months ago (no, this isn’t being ghost-written) since the average life span of the American male is around 78.5 years – and going backward, by the way. (Put down that Carl’s Junior cheeseburger and fries and walk away, PLEASE!)

On the other hand, based on how long we know the human body can last (122 years, 164 days, the record set by Mme. Jeanne Calment of Paris when she gave it up in 1997) I’m closer to middle-age.

I can roll with that, too.

You’ve been “portaled.”

We’ve had a need to put ourselves in categories, especially relative to age, for, like, forever. We can thank the American Psychological Association (APA) and corporate marketers for much of that. For instance, until G. Stanley Hall, President of the APA, came up with the concept of adolescence in 1904, we fundamentally just had two age categories – child and adult.

Look where we’ve come today with this drive to drop people into age groupings (each category feeding a market for psychologists and marketers).

Dr. Mario Martinez, neuropsychologist, identified seven age-based “portals: newborn, infancy, childhood, adolescence, young adult, middle age, and old age.

Peter Laslett, the eminent British demographic historian, came up with a much simpler and appropriate four-portal alignment:

  1. First age – childhood/age of dependence.
  2. Second age – adulthood and mid-career jobs.
  3. Third age – the new territory between the end of mid-career jobs and parenting duties and the beginning of dependent old age.
  4. Fourth age – age of dependency and ill health, the doorstep of demise.

I like Laslett’s formula.

I’m in the third age. My projected date for the beginning of my fourth age is 112 and change with my ill health and dependency period being two weeks or less. Actually, my plan is to wrap it all up in much less than two weeks by going face down in a Colorado trout stream still trying to prove that I am smarter than an animal with a brain the size of a pea.

Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me whether someone considers me old or elderly. The only measurement that matters is my own. I’ve grown immune to the rampant ageist comments that persist realizing they come from a chronological perspective and one that is naive to the demographic and attitudinal changes that are taking place.

I know, and you know, sixty-year-olds that are truly old – physically, mentally, attitudinally – well past any semblance of a mid-point on all fronts. Conversely, you can easily find 80-year-olds that will hold their own with 50-year olds in the same categories.

I have grown accustomed to the reactions that come from people when I reveal my true age. It nearly always has a touch of amazement that I look and act the way I do.

I don’t say that with any arrogance because I quickly remind people that what they are observing is no accident. I work at it – and have for decades. I learned long ago that my biology will pay me back with more youthful looks and higher energy if I simply listen to it, understand what it needs at the cellular level, and practice the quite-simple things that it takes to honor my good health birthright and let it reward me in kind.

I say all that knowing that it all starts with attitude and that if I choose to begin to adopt a shitty attitude and drop the disciplines that support my biology, I can easily earn a pejorative age-based tag.

Tags are in!

If I have to have an age-based moniker, then call me a modern elder in my third age. They fit nicely together and don’t have to have a number on them.

I picked a crazy endpoint at 112 1/2 because at age 75 I decided I wanted to have a third of my life left to get some things done that I didn’t get done in the first two-thirds. It’s really a desire to roll all my screw-ups, zig-zags, life traumas, successes, victories into this thing called “wisdom” and spread it around a bit.

Look, I know I’m falling short – but I’m working on it!

The mission.

It has become my “third-age mission”, to change people’s attitudes toward aging, to be a longevity guide, to raise awareness that getting old is inevitable but how we get old isn’t. And, above all, to do as Gandhi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Haven’t we all learned that people will listen more to what you are than to what you say?

So I feel and think of myself as sort of middle-age, in this now extended period we are calling the “third age” that so many others are also in. I, along with millions of other “boomers”, “pre-boomers” and “early GenXers” can decide to turn this period of post-career period of a 20–40-year longevity bonus into the most impactful, purposeful, productive period of life and make an unimaginable difference.

But we first have to dump the age categories and the self-inflicted ageism that comes with it, adopt an attitude that says “I ain’t done yet” and, no, I don’t have a “use-by stamp” anywhere on me, and move forward intending to continue to kick-ass in a culture in dire need of the collective wisdom we third-ager modern elders represent.

Let’s recalibrate!

We have to continue to redefine or eliminate some old, bad ideas, the most obvious one being traditional self-indulgent leisure-based retirement. Retirement, as we’ve defined it and have had it drilled into us for 5–6 decades, is a trojan horse that moves us away from the way our biology functions optimally and away from one of the key components of longevity – meaningful work.

Every study of centenarians has shown that work and purpose remained a key part of their lifestyles very late into their lives.

Other old, bad ideas are the belief that senescence is automatic and unalterable, that our brains will shrink and move inexorably toward slowness and/or dementia. Or that our longevity is driven by our genetics. Or that a period of extended frailty is a given late in life.

None are true unless we allow them to happen. We have the knowledge to know that our lifestyle choices determine much more of this than we knew just 20 years ago.

We have an obligation to honor what Dr. Mario Martinez termed our “birthright of good health.” We are born with it and have become very good at dishonoring it with our lifestyles and clinging to old, archaic myths and messages.

So, I’m borrowing Chip Conley’s “modern elder” tag for myself since I know I will need to continue to address the naive and ageist questions that will be thrown at me as I continue my iconoclastic journey.

It’s a tall order being a “modern elder” as defined by Conley:

  1. Good judgment
  2. Unvarnished insight
  3. Emotional intelligence
  4. Holistic thinking
  5. Stewardship

I’ve got a LONG way to go to earn that moniker. But it’s a great target that has a healthier, longer, more meaningful life written all over it.

I’m working on it!

Does it matter?

Nope – it’s a number. You aren’t defined by it, regardless of how our youth-obsessed culture and government view it.

You are your attitude.

Do attitudes age?

Yep – if allowed.

Once past 60, I suggest a daily attitude check. Remind yourself that you’re not done yet but, in fact, just starting the most gratifying period of your life.

Think about adopting the modern elder tag and criteria.

You’ve got it. We need it.

Remind yourself that you have kick-ass potential rooted in natural talents, acquired skills and experiences, and decades of accumulated wisdom that would be a terrible thing to waste at the beach, on the golf course, in the La-Z-boy.

Let’s be the change we want to see – need to see!

Two Stories That May Save Your Life – Part Two of A Two-part Series

In last week’s post, our first story in this short series related the story of Paul, a retired airline pilot and aspiring 70.3 triathloner, who averted a possible heart attack through proactive testing that revealed a significant blockage in his “widowmaker” artery.

His is a fascinating story of a journey from daily half-triathlon training to quadruple bypass surgery back to training for another half-triathlon, all the space of a month. Had he not pursued proactive testing, his story likely would have had a much different, and ominous, ending.

This week, the story is different but no less revealing of the importance of being proactive about heart health in our later decades.

In story two, we meet Scott Fulton, entrepreneur, longevity advocate and teacher, and health and fitness advocate who “walks his talk” with personal fitness that positions him in the upper 10% for his age.

I’ve been fortunate to have a few conversations with Scott and find his depth of knowledge on the impact of our lifestyle choices on our longevity to be off the charts. His mission aligns with mine: raise the awareness of our longevity potential and the role of our habits and choices – especially in our third age –  in achieving that potential.

I encourage you to visit his website and, in particular, spend 11-minutes with this video which really encapsulates Scott’s mission and message.

It was with this perspective of Scott, his fitness, and his commitment to healthy lifestyle habits that I was shocked to read, on a LinkedIn post, of Scott’s encounter with a cardiovascular issue.

Here are Scott’s own words from that post. I’ve taken the liberty to bold a few sentences for emphasis.

“I have maintained an active, healthy lifestyle for years. It wasn’t always like that. I burned the candle at both ends in my 20s and 30s, and only in my 60s did the damage caused during those “young and invincible” years habits reveal themselves.

A year ago, I proactively requested a CT Coronary Artery Calcium scan (CAC) and discovered that I had an abnormally high calcium score (calcified plaque deposited permanently in heart arteries).

No symptoms. Never had high #cholesterol.

Two weeks ago, I set a cycling PR (personal record) on a local hill climb, placing me in the top 10 for all ages. Not bad for a once mildly overweight 40-year-old, with no elite cycling background.

One week ago, I had a 1-year follow-up Cardiopulmonary Exercise Test (CPET) and scored in the highest fitness class – excellent. My sports cardiologist however noted a drop in O2 rate at maximal effort and ordered a Cardiac Catheter scan with blood contrast.

Yesterday, scan revealing a 90% block in my Right Coronary Artery. BAM!
Subsequently treated immediately on the table with a stent.

Today I am back, able to resume normal active life without limitations or fear of a heart event.

Despite being vigilant about my health and proactive with biomarker and fitness testing, I barely dodged a fatal bullet.

In a world filled with technology, most of us avoid health data at our fingertips, as though it were a threat to our health. Yet, we quickly ascribe to the popular marketing message that we’re all living longer. It speaks to our view of health as fantasy vs reality.

Living longer in poor health is the ultimate curse. We may tell ourselves we’re eating better and exercising more, OR that we’re young and invincible, OR that it’s too late to make changes, OR that we’re too busy caring for others, OR… but regardless, without data, we’re operating on blind hope. Next time you plug an address into your phone, expecting the data to guide you to your destination, ask yourself, “Why aren’t I doing this for my own healthy longevity?”

Healthspan is a long life, supported by optimal health in our later years. It’s a journey we all hope for, yet struggle to take measurable actions, allowing fear to overrule our daily decisions.

Doctors are amazing at saving lives, but saving health is on each of us. Most chronic diseases sneak up undetected and can hit like a freight train. Usually, however, they are very slow-moving bullets and can almost always be avoided with advanced notice. Break the cycle and pause long enough to check for bullets. One just might be headed your way.”

CAC vs CPET

Some of you know my story – first-ever heart scan (CAC) at 73 revealing a calcium score of 600+ (anything above 400 is considered high-risk for cardiovascular disease) followed by echo and nuclear stress tests to determine if blood flow is affected. Fortunately, things appear to be normal with no major occlusions and, thankfully, my left anterior descending artery (LAD/widowmaker) is apparently clear.

Scott shared with me, in a call I initiated after reading his LinkedIn post, that his first CAC (in his 50s) revealed a calcium score of 1700 and that he has a family history of heart issues.

Because of his teaching, he is very aware of the nuances and insidious nature of heart disease and has connected with lots of prominent cardiologists. With that, he was familiar with the “next level” of cardio-testing called the Cardiopulmonary Exercise Test (CPET) which is also referred to as a VO2 (oxygen consumption) test, a specialized type of stress test or exercise test that measures your exercise ability. Normally reserved for testing of athletes, CPET testing is available from a limited number of facilities.

Scott pushed the envelope and leveraged his cardiologist connections to take testing to the next level. He did two CPETs with nothing showing up on the first test but with the second test at a higher rate revealing the fall off of O2 uptake which led to the cardiac cath test that revealed the right coronary artery blockage.

It’s interesting to note that Scott doesn’t feel the stent is the permanent solution. With the improvements in stent technology, he feels it provides a ten-year bridge to what may eventually be bypass surgery as the next life-extender.

This is a mindset that obviously comes from in-depth learning and attention to data.

Takeaways from these two stories

I see two key takeaways from these two stories:

  1. Take charge. Be proactive. Push. Scott’s opinion is that CAC tests should happen at 40 to find out what track you are on to give you more time to address any issues that are revealed. I would add to that test a carotid and abdominal artery scan. Assume that your doc isn’t going to bring them up unless there are symptoms that would indicate that a problem already exists. Let’s be honest, if we aren’t tuned in to our own health, we fall victim to a health  medical system that only cares about the “cure” and not about “prevention.” There is a reason your doc wants you in and out of his exam room in 15 minutes. It’s the business model to which he, in turn, is a captive.
  2. Understand and use the data. A physician once told me that our biggest healthcare problem isn’t disease, it’s healthcare illiteracy. We take our biological naivete into a broken disease-care system when things go awry and accept the drug- or surgery-based  “cure” message and fail to consider that we have technology that can tell us more much about where we are and what we should be doing proactively and preventively to preserve and extend our health. Do you know where you stand on all of your key biomarkers? Do you understand them? Have you had a serious conversation with your PCP about your biomarkers? Have you pushed for these types of baseline tests?

Paul was astounded by the amount of health data he received when he switched out of large health system to an independent concierge preventive medicine physician. The discussion of his initial wellness physical test data was a two-hour conversation with the physician with baselines established that had never been part of discussion with a system-based PCP.

Don’t be a statistic

Over 600,000 people have a first heart attack in the U.S. each year. Only about half survive the attack.

Avoid being a statistic. Push the envelope.

Two Stories That May Save Your Life – Part One of A Two-part Series

I was stunned.

Three weeks ago, I received this email on a Monday morning from a new friend, a retired airline pilot that I had an extended phone conversation with a year ago following his response to one of my health and wellness-related blogs.

Good evening Gary,

Last April I did a sprint triathlon and started training for an Iron Man 70.3. I am retired and 67 years old and I thought in excellent shape with a change to a whole plant-based diet. In my excitement for my newfound energy, I decided to get my FAA pilot (license renewed). Well. I failed my EKG. Fast forward, testing etc. I am at this time sitting in my room at the Cleveland Clinic in Weston Florida, just had quadruple open heart bypass performed on Thursday. There is too much to share on an email – feel free if you’re still up give me a call till 2 AM another 55 minutes from now on my cell phone and I can discuss these matters.

Fly safe

Paul

I picked up the phone and called. I had to know more.

My conversation with Paul a year ago had centered on his adjustments to a healthier lifestyle following retirement. He was adapting to a new retired life, coming down from decades of being glued to a cockpit chair, sleep deprivation, free but unhealthy airline food, and strenuous schedules that come with being in the first seat for a major international airline – a career that spanned 46 years.

He told me it took him 4-5 months to emerge from a constant fog and be able to sleep 7 hours after years of averaging far less than that. He was proudly attacking the accumulated weight issues related to limited physical activity and marginal diet that accompanied a work schedule that, on occasion, covered 24 time zones in one international round trip.

He took both exercise and diet seriously just before retirement, moving to a whole-food-plant-based diet and elevating his exercise to the point of completing a sprint triathlon soon after retiring, which his wife filmed and turned into this YouTube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8mqpvEHlQs

With his newfound confidence in his health status, he decided to get his FAA license renewed, really for no other reason than to just prove that he could.

That decision saved his life.

He flunked.

An abnormal EKG  came with the suggestion that he arrange for further testing.

He met with cardiologists at a local hospital and didn’t feel comfortable with the way they were handling his situation.

He did more research and connected with the local branch of the renowned Cleveland Clinic where tests suggested an angiogram to isolate the anomaly. His cardiologist felt that the worst-case scenario from the angiogram would be placing a stent in the affected area during the procedure.

He was – thankfully – wrong.

The angiogram revealed 90% blockage in the left anterior descending artery (LAD), commonly known as the widowmaker.  It’s called the widowmaker because the blockage, usually a blood clot, stops all the blood flow to the left side of the heart, causing the heart to stop beating normally – or at all, which is usually the case. 

The intended stent placement gave way to immediate CABG (coronary artery bypass grafting) or, as we know it, quadruple bypass surgery.

What’s the big deal? We do 340,000 of them a year!

I suspect most all of us have heard somewhat similar stories, or at least know someone who has had their chest cracked open for this procedure.

How is Paul’s different? Why should I care?

One of the key differences in Paul’s story – and the point I want to convey to anyone who cares to read or listen – is the proactive nature of his actions. In his words:

“Because my issue was discovered through volunteering (to do) testing, I was then allowed to be part of every decision i.e. what hospital, what doctor, what rehab, etc. If I would have had an event, then all decisions would be made by someone else! Being proactive in health produces a much more preferred outcome.”

I suspect that the vast majority of those 340,000 procedures occur after “reactive testing” in response to some sort of event, be it chest pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, upper back or neck pain, indigestion, extreme fatigue, of God forbid, an actual heart attack.

Heart disease remains the #1 killer in the U.S. with 805,000 occurring annually. Someone dies of a heart attack every 36 seconds in the U.S.

And 1 in 5 heart attacks is silent – the damage is done but the person is unaware of it. 

That may have been Paul’s fate had he not been proactive.

70.3 Ironman triathlon in March

Paul is undeterred. As I write this, it’s been 25 days since his surgery. He has worked up to walking 5 kilometers daily and is nearly free of needing help with any of his daily activities. The March triathlon is still his target. (Note: 70.3 is half of a regular ironman – they don’t like the “half” part in the name). I believe he will get there.

His diet remains fully vegan.

He has engaged a concierge “lifestyle practitioner” as a partner in his self-care going forward. The practitioner is a full-on medical doctor who practiced for years at one of the large local hospitals but could no longer tolerate the way he was expected to care for his patients by the system he belonged to.

As a concierge, he limits the number of patients and is providing individualized preventive care for a $250 enrollment fee and $150/month for unlimited access to his services.

Paul reported that his first visit was two hours long discussing the most extensive battery of tests that he ever experienced.

Raise your hand if you’ve come anywhere close to a 2-hour conversation with your doc.

And the physician actually talked diet and knew what he was talking about.

My own “heart disease” story

I’ve written of this before. Six years ago, at 73, I had a heart scan that revealed I am in the high-risk category for cardiovascular disease (CVD).

In a way, my heart scan was proactive. Not because I pushed for it, but because my PCP encouraged it.

Despite being a septuagenarian, I’d never had a scan. My doc didn’t recommend it because he saw something that concerned him but rather he felt it is a good thing to do as a precaution at my age.

The results scared the s*** out of me – and my wife.

Although my total calcium score was high, the scan showed the LAD (see above) was clear and a subsequent echo and nuclear stress test didn’t reveal any blood flow issues. So, it was life as usual, including my aggressive exercise regimen.

So far, so good.

How proactive are you about this silent disease?

Paul’s experience, and the one you will read about next week, illustrate the merit of being in charge of our health by being proactive.

If you are over 40 and haven’t had a conversation with your PCP (please tell me you know his/her name) about a CT Coronary Artery Calcium scan (CAC), then initiate the conversation.

A multi-state study of more than 28,000 people hospitalized for heart attacks from 1995 to 2014 showed 30 percent of those patients were young, age 35 to 54. The unfortunate truth is that heart attacks are happening to younger adults more and more often. This is partly because the conditions that lead to heart disease are happening at younger ages.

My calcium collection didn’t just pop up – it likely has been with me for a few decades, silently, insidiously doing what it does – collect.

I’m lucky that it apparently hasn’t clumped, which it can have a tendency to do and turn people’s lights out.

If you have reached your 5th decade, you’ve collected it too.

Maybe now would be a good time to find out how much you’ve collected. And to get to know a cardiologist that can help you achieve good heart health.

Don’t wait for an event. Be proactive. Seventy-five percent of heart attacks are first-time events and 40-50% are fatal.

I’ll end by requoting Dr.David Katz, specialist in Preventive Medicine and Lifestyle Medicine, who reminds us:

“We know all we need to know to reduce the major killers in our culture by 80%. We don’t need more fancy drugs, or machines, or more Nobel prizes. We know all we need to know right now.”

Part of that knowing is proactively taking advantage of available testing technology.

What’s your proactive health plan? If you have a story like Paul’s, let us know. We’d like to talk with you about it. Email us at gary@makeagingwork.com or leave a comment below.

What do you call a person aged between 70 and 79? (Please don’t call them OLD!)

Technically, we are called septuagenarians. That’s too big a word for most to memorize and use, so most people (under 70) just call us “old” or “over the hill” or “irrelevant” or “geezers” or yada, yada, yada.

We seem to have a need to put ourselves in categories. A century-and-a-half ago, we had two age categories – child and adult. When you started working the farm, you transitioned to adult and stayed there.

Then creative social scientists/engineers and clever marketers came up with age categories with the first one being “adolescence” which was the brainchild, in 1904, of psychologist and educator G. Stanley Hall.

From there we’ve progressed to as many as seven “age portals”: newborn, infancy, childhood, adolescence, young adult, middle age, and old age, each bringing with it a cadre of exploitive marketers and continued employment for an oversupply of psychologists.

This portal list has received even further refinement and deeper categorization, including the old age category. My favorite, as a late-stage septuagenarian, comes from the late, great author and executive career coach, Ms. Helen Harkness, Ph.D., who died in March this year as a nonagenarian just shy of her 93rd birthday.

Here it is:

  • Young adulthood: 20-40
  • First midlife: 40-60
  • Second midlife: 60-80
  • Young old: 80-90
  • Elderly: 90 and above
  • Old-old: 2-3 years to live

It feels good and right to still be in the “second midlife” category. Come March, I step into the Young Old category.

But that still feels good. It fits for where I feel I am mentally, physically.

It’s really all about mindset.

We’ve created one mental category (old) and a pivot point to irrelevancy by clinging to the irrelevant, illogical artificial finish line of 65 established by the government and the traditional retirement community.

That’s unfortunate because it’s a mindset that takes us to the wrong side of the mental and biological ledger.

Think old = act old.

No, brain deterioration and senescence are not automatic. We can add neurons and build lots of new synaptic connections for as long as we choose.

No, extended morbidity and early frailty are not our destinies. We can “die young, as late as possible” if we understand our biology and neurology and do the simple things they require to hang in and support us.

No, this is not new information. We’ve known these things like forever – and ignored them just as long.

D-A-R-E

I can’t avoid coming back to Dr. Walter Bortz’s simple formula for longevity from his book “Dare to Be 100”:

D=Diet

A=Attitude

R=Rejuvenation/renewal/learning

E=Exercise

While it’s a pretty simple equation, don’t be fooled into believing it’s easy, especially the “A” part. It’s the toughest because the other three don’t get enacted unless the “A” is in place and working.

As Dr. Bortz says:

“D-R-E are biological compass points for aiming for 100, but A – attitude – is most important. Within attitude lie all the planning and decision-making that facilitate the biological steps. It is possible to reach 100 by chance, but it’s not likely.”

With rare exceptions, we were given a vehicle that should carry us to yet another category – centenarian. As Dr. Bortz points out, there is no biological reason that we all should not live to 100 or beyond.

Alas, we’ve gotten really good at disproving Dr. Bortz’s claim with our self-care naivete and resulting lifestyle choices despite having the antidotes to frailty and early death staring us in the face.

Kickass Centenarian

Yeah, it’s a personal goal. It’s a repulsive thought to most and has squashed a few dinner conversations.

Why shoot for 100+?

Because I can.

Because I might just get there. I have self-care awareness and the awareness that the human body can last 122+ years.

So what if I fall a few years short, like Dr. Harkness. Better than just hitting the current average U.S.male lifespan of 78.5 years.

The criminal part of accepting “old” early is that an ailing culture is deprived of the wisdom, talents and accumulated skills and experiences that a septuagenarian can bring to the table to make a difference.

There’s lots of life to live in Ms. Harkness’s last four categories. She proved it, as are more and more septo’s, octo’s, and nona’s.

Feel free to call me a septo or an octo – please, just don’t call me old.

Does Your Retirement Have an Endurance Quotient? Pay Attention to the Millennials.

Endurance quotient? Hmmm. Whassat?

Merriam Webster: endure = last, persist.

Remember back in your 40s, 50s (maybe even 60s for you slow-to-awaken, like yours truly) when those “legacy” thoughts made their uncomfortable, uninvited entrance into your thought stream, sometimes intensified as engagement with the grape deepened.

Like:

  • Why am I here?
  • Is this all there is?
  • Oh s**t! I’ve got fewer days ahead than behind.
  • Why haven’t I gotten to where I thought I’d be at this point or where culture says I should be (this is called “shoulding on yourself” – common at this mid-point).

All thoughts that bring us face-to-face with the question of how we are going to endure in our second half/third-age/post-career life.

We should deal with these purposefully and not just default to the prevailing path of no resistance: done at 65, wind down, kick back, hop on the accelerating downslope of declining health and lack of purpose, and forget about anything resembling a legacy – thinking it’s too complicated and takes too much thought and energy.

 

Don’t go there. It’s too important.

Maybe we can learn from the millennials!

Once we stop throwing rocks at the millennials and early GenXers, we may notice something worthy of our attention when it comes to a new, different, and healthier lifestyle and perspective on retirement.

I recently came across a GenX writer on Medium.com who I feel is saying some things about retirement that we Boomers and pre-boomers need to pay attention to.

Rocco Pendola is a Californian whose byline on Medium.com says:  “I write about doing life and personal finance, focusing on the psychology of our relationships with other people and money. I’m anti-guru, pro-empowerment.”

An iconoclast – my kinda guy!

One of his recent posts entitled “Retiring at Age 61 Might Be This Year’s Most Depressing Thought. There’s a better way than what the investing establishment sells.”

It’s a worthy read. In it, Rocco excoriates the financial services industry and the media for not reporting what is really going on in the GenX and Millennial world.  And he introduces a taste of the emerging mindset that this group is beginning to demonstrate.

Here’s an extract from the article for you to ponder:

They don’t tell you about the  of young people reconsidering the entire concept of traditional retirement (credit the media for starting to finally cover this!). They don’t talk about young people living , which means different things to different people, but almost always includes some form of work for the duration.

, the millennial generation does things differently than those who came before them, particularly the upper end of Generation X and certainly many baby boomers.

They:

  • Focus on… physical health.
  • Focus on securing consistent work that . That you can do if you find yourself physically unhealthy.
  • Focus on… mental health.
  • Focus on… the mindset to do work that endures for eternity.
  • Focus on finding a partner who lives simply but likes nice things. Who you can just be with. Every outing isn’t a trip to Rome. But, if you’re lucky, you can make something like that happen one or more times per year.
  • Focus on .
  • Focus on allocating that cash flow amid  as to have cash surpluses every month.

These things comprise the cornerstones of the move away from conventional retirement and toward the much more realistic, hopeful, vibrant, and life-affirming concept of semi-retirement.

If you’ve done the math and don’t think you can “retire” until you’re 61, please reconsider.

There might not be a more depressing thought, assuming you buy into what the word “retire” has always meant. That you work a job you don’t necessarily like all that much, live a little along the way, and set yourself up to really live when you’re really, really old and probably won’t be able to live all that well anyway.

The road to traditional retirement can beat you down.

Living the semi-retired life means you don’t stress yourself out over having to meet some out-sized number by the time you’re sixty-something.

It also means you set yourself up for healthier old age by making your physical and mental health a priority — not the 9-to-5 grind — when you’re young.

OUCH!

Tough words for all of us 20th-century “retirement relics!”

Semi-retire at 35? Heresy!

Work until you die – at something you’ve learned to be good at and that you like and helps fix this messy world? I don’t think that line will fall from the lips of a financial planner.

Think cash flow? And an insanely low cost of living?  How’s that gonna go down in a “consumption is king” culture?

Consistent work that endures? Work that you can do if you find yourself physically unhealthy? That four-letter word is supposed to end on or about 65, isn’t it?

They’re reading different manuals!

Maybe we need to subscribe.

For sure, we need to pay attention. This is going to be the model.

I relate because I’ve considered myself semi-retired for some time as I’ve sought that purpose sweet spot:

The concept of an endurance component really resonates with me as I intend to do what I am doing to the end – because I can. And because those four circles are intersecting for me.

We know traditional retirement is dying a fast death and that 50+ years of the same financial services industry vocation-to-vacation drumbeat is fading.

Who would have thought those lazy, over-protected, self-entitled Millennials may drive the final stake in both.

Forums like Medium.com may not be your thing (there’s some pretty edgy stuff over there), but I encourage you to check out what Rocco is saying. It won’t harm any of us “Modern Elders” to be more generative and crawl inside the mind of a forward-thinking GenXer.

Does your third age have an endurance component? Let us know what you think of this idea? We’d love to have your feedback. Leave a comment below or email me at gary@makeagingwork.com.

How Much Do Doctors Actually Know About Nutrition? You Won’t Like the Answer.

“The mission of medicine is to protect, defend, and advance the human condition. That mission cannot be fulfilled if diet is neglected.”
Dr. Michael Greger, M.D., FACLM

Another boring annual physical exam last month.

We both like it that way, my doc and I. He and I have been doing this thing for nearly 25 years.

That’s a lot of digital exams. Neither of us enjoys those. At least, I don’t think he does. His facial expression doesn’t change during the probe.

The session wrap is usually something like: “Everything looks good. Keep doing what you are doing.”

Thing is, he doesn’t really know what I’m doing.

Across 2 1/2 decades, he’s never initiated a conversation about diet or exercise.

With no disrespect intended, my doc is 25 pounds overweight, walking on two replaced knees in his mid-60s.

I’m 79, only slightly overweight with two mildly arthritic but fully functional knees, despite 17 years of 5X/week pick-up basketball and five years of running before that.

I understand why neither of those topics would be initiated by him proactively.

Y’see, that would suggest prevention.

Prevention doesn’t line up with his training, nor does it fit the business model of the profitable “not-for-profit” health system he recently joined.

Offer preventive advice? Then I might stop showing up. That’s a problem with a staff payroll and two pontoon boats on Lake Powell to support.

The history of our medical system isn’t helping us in the 21st century

There’s no mystery here. He grew up in a medical system that grew up fixing things over the last 110 years – a job they did quite well. The problem is that the methodology didn’t change and it all turned into a huge, expensive drug and surgery dispensary we erroneously call a healthcare system.

Want advice on prevention? Don’t expect it from a healthcare and pharma system that would collapse if we all got self-care savvy. Or from a government that, well – can you spell “clueless?”

We’re on our own!

Here’s an example:

As Doc was typing some final notes into his electronic medical record, he did comment on my lowered LDL and total cholesterol, commenting rhetorically that it was a good thing.

I seized the opportunity to comment that I had been working to swing my diet more and more away from meat and dairy and more to a plant-based diet.

Thinking that it might spawn a discussion, it just drew out this comment: “I like my meat. I don’t think much about that.”

I rest my case.

I really do love the guy. We have great conversations. It’s easy to light him up with a topic like politics, climate change, state of the country – virtually anything outside of healthcare. And he’s a smart guy with a broad awareness outside of healthcare.

I’ll stay with him as long as he practices. But his role is that of a partner in my self-care, not the arbiter. I understand the shortfall of his expertise because of the system in which he grew up and chooses to remain in.

I’ll get what I need in the diet and exercise realm elsewhere.

To that end – – –

I’ve long been a fan – as I suspect some of you are – of Dr. Michael Greger, M.D., a general practitioner, clinical nutritionist, and founder of the popular Nutrition Facts website.

He released a 5-minute video recently that I want to share with you that takes this topic of nutritional training within the medical profession deeper. I hope it will further elevate your understanding of this shortfall and inspire you to consider the importance of taking control of this component of your health.

Our diet is the #1 cause of early death in our country. Our healthcare and pharma system is doing little to change that but is profiting mightily from it. It’s time we took control.

Click the picture and enjoy the link:

 

The average life expectancy is 78 years, while the retirement age is 67. We work for 50 years to be free for 11. Does that sound like a fair deal?

 

Most of us over 50 have been “culturally indoctrinated” under what I call the “20–40–20” plan – 20 years of learn; 40 years of earn; 20 years of leisure. It’s a linear life model that still pervades our thinking, co-authored by our educational system and boosted along by a very powerful financial services industry. Retirement has become a pseudo-entitlement, an earned right that we mysteriously feel obligated to do at the risk of being considered “weird” if we don’t.

Alas, that final 20 doesn’t materialize for lots of folks. What I find perplexing is why we refuse to acknowledge that it is the very act of retirement that may keep that final nirvanic 20 from happening.

HELLOOOO!

Perhaps we should awaken to the fact that retirement, which means to “withdraw”, “go backward”, “retreat to a place of safety and seclusion” is an unnatural act that goes against our biology and neurology.

Retirement is an unnatural act. It doesn’t exist in nature (have you ever seen a retired coyote, bear, turtle, maple tree?) and it didn’t exist anywhere in the world 150 years ago. Its origin (Germany, 1880’s; U.S., 1935) was purely political, not humanitarian.

Ever heard the phrase “use it or lose it”? Traditional full-stop, off-the-cliff, labor-to-leisure retirement takes us in the direction of “losing it” mentally and physically.

We are made to grow, learn, serve, contribute regardless of age. Our Euro-American concept of retirement says “you’re done” at a certain age. In the U.S. that’s 65, an arbitrarily chosen age that establishes an “artificial finish line” that has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that we decided to pick that number 86 years ago for political reasons when the average life span was 62.

So, is it a “fair deal”?

I say “hell yes” – with the caveat that decisions have consequences.

If you decide to fully retire, then be prepared to accept the potential negative consequences of the deal that you struck with your mind and body. Your mind and body will play the cards you deal them.

If you choose to retire physically and become sedentary, your body will respond in kind. If you choose to retire mentally and become one with the La-Z-Boy and TV, your brain will respond accordingly. If you retire and become a hermit and socially isolated, both your mind and body may reward you with early senescence.

We ignore what medical and bio-scientific research has learned over the last 50 years about how we work biologically and neurologically. We will lose some brain size as we age but we don’t lose brainpower unless we choose to. Our bodies can remain strong much longer into late life than we give them the chance to do.

What is a fair deal?

Maybe a better deal is the type struck by those who don’t retire. The world is replete with examples counter to the “unfair deal” that our Euro-American concept of retirement has wrought. Studies of centenarians across the world have revealed that rarely do they retire. The cultures on the planet with the longest average life spans don’t have retirement in their vocabulary nor do they have retirement homes.

Maybe it’s time to rethink the whole concept of retirement. In fact, that time has come. Many are doing just that, recognizing that we’ve been conned into believing that retirement is the “right deal” only to discover that the rewards promised by the concept aren’t always there upon arrival.

There is a growing movement away from traditional retirement into unretirement or to semi-retirement. Many are recognizing that the second-half or third-age of life is a time for a new “take-off” and not a “landing.” Those of us who advocate for this attitude have a battle on our hands, facing rampant ageism, the powerful youth culture-orientation at the corporate level, stupid government policies, and the pervasiveness of the entitlement attitude so powerfully cultivated by the 20th-century indoctrination and financial services industry.

Most centenarians have the real “fair deal”.

They:

  • Don’t retire
  • Keep working
  • Pay attention to their biology – stay active physically and mentally
  • Give back, pay forward, share their wisdom
  • Don’t go with the crowd

Research of centenarians revealed that only 3 1/2% retired and 92% worked for over 60 years. Work seems to be a biological necessity.

Strategic Coach founder, Dan Sullivan, is arguably the most successful entrepreneur coach on the planet and a favorite virtual mentor of mine. He proudly feels he has successfully “disenfranchised” most of the 18,000 entrepreneurs he has trained from the idea of retirement.

He tags retirement as the “ultimate casualty.” In his view, “stopping to retire means you are ready to return your bits back to the universe.”

A retired Stanford psychologist refers to retirement as “statutory senility.”

I’ve heard it referred to as a “shortened path to the ultimate leisure – death.”

A time of trampolines

I’ll share a quote from a favorite book, “Dare to Be 100”, written by retired Stanford geriatric physician, Dr. Walter Bortz. Step #59 of his “99 Steps to 100” is entitled: “Think When, Where, and Why Retire.” Within that step he says:

“Retirement should be viewed not as a time of rocking chairs but of trampolines – try out things that have intrigued you, but were never before open to exploration. Think of retirement not as an end but as a beginning, a graduation, a whole set of new opportunities that can enrich and reward. Retirement is an active – not a passive – process. Anticipate it decades in advance, plan for it, and execute it in a well-rehearsed fashion. Of course, this does not imply that it should be rigid in outline. Keep your options open – give new directions a chance.”

Sage advice from a sage who is 91 years old and still out there advocating for robust aging.

Do you have a plan for your “third age?”

Are you into or heading into that “final 11?” How ready are you for this life phase? Regardless of where you are financially, it’s good to start with a baseline. Here’s a simple tool – let’s call it a Retirement Transition Wheel to help establish where you are in 12 key areas of a successful transition into a purposeful third age. Select your level of comfort or satisfaction for each area and see where your wheel is out of balance. It should provide clues to what work needs to be done to achieve a successful, healthy, and purposeful third age.

Life is simply a series of choices. Nowhere on the full lifescape are the choices more critical than those made during this transition phase. Traditional retirement is a stale narrative and one of those options that we are discovering may not be the wisest choice.

Let us know how you feel about all this? We know that 2 of 3 retirees have entered retirement without a non-financial plan. If you are the exception, we’d like to know what worked and what you would do differently. If you aren’t retired, are you beginning to view it differently? Or does traditional retirement still appeal to you? We appreciate and grow from your feedback. Leave us a comment or drop an email to gary@makeagingwork.com

Is Your Age a “Jail Sentence?” Or a “Gateway?”

A 64-year old woman recently found me through one of my blogs and engaged me about my career transition coaching services for folks at mid-life and beyond.

She is gainfully employed in her 20th year with her employer, but concerned about some changes that she finds unattractive and unsettling. She’s feeling trapped because her options are to go along with the changes or be asked to leave.

With her having three degrees (two bachelor’s, one master’s) and 20 years of continuous employment with the same company, I assumed this conversation was headed for a discussion about transitioning to retirement.

That was a brief, and dead-end, conversation.

Retirement isn’t an option because she and her husband have less than $40,000 in retirement savings. He has always been self-employed with no retirement savings plan. She has never earned more than $45,000 a year.

As a couple, they are not unlike a disturbingly high percentage of the American population.

As we reviewed her plight, she instinctively understood that her age was a major variable in any plans going forward.

It felt like a jail sentence to her.

I told her that it could be, depending on the choices she makes at this point and the mindset she adopts.

We discussed her options:

  1. Suck it up, stay where you are, and adapt.
  2. Quit and enter the job market to find another position.
  3. Do a hybrid – suck it up, stay where you are but test the job market or other alternatives.

I will cross-body block her if she heads to #2 and the ageism therein.

This is a classic example of how mindset works for or against an individual. The thought of age 64 being anything other than a ball and chain is difficult under her circumstances.

This is a work-in-progress and part of my mission is to talk her down from the ledge that says the future is grim.

I want to expose her to a “gateway mindset.”

Unlocking the jail cell

Her limbic system – lizard brain, if you will – will put and keep her in jail if she allows it. Her lizard brain is there to protect her from things like saber-tooth tigers, warring tribes, starvation. The amygdala was doing it 200,000 years ago and still does, sans the tigers. Possibility thinking will need to do an override of an amygdala that’s just doing its job.

So we’re going to build a gateway through that protectionist biological process. Here are the pieces:

  1. Raised self-awareness
  2. Deep-dive skills inventory
  3. Separate the important from the urgent
  4. Walk to the edge of the comfort zone and peer over the edge using #1-3

Raised self-awareness

At this life juncture, it will be essential for her to reacquaint herself with her essence, her “one and no other.” What is it that she’s exceptional at doing, that lights her up, that makes time disappear as she does it? What would she be doing if time and money weren’t a consideration?

This could be helped along with some personal assessments such as DISC, Strengthsfinder, Enneagram to resurrect and reactive those latent talents and dreams.

Deep-dive skills inventory

Equipped with this raised self-awareness, it’s time to replay the life experience and work history tapes. What has she made happen that she is recognized for? What type of advice do people come to her for? Has she been acknowledged for a “uniqueness” in what she has done over the 20 years?

Separate the important from the urgent

This is where it can get a bit dicey and where an objective mindset is key. The urgent will dominate if you are trying to get out of jail.

The urgent says (with a boost from the amygdala):

  • I’ve got to find another job, quickly.
  • Who could possibly want a 64-year old woman with my narrow experience?
  • I’ll never be able to retire.

The important says:

  • I need to protect my health (she is contending with some challenges in this area).
  • I need to continue to support my live-in daughter and granddaughter while my daughter attends medical school.
  • I need to adopt a new mindset for this next phase built on optimism and confidence in my abilities.

Walk to the edge of the comfort zone and peer over the edge using pieces #1-3.

Very little significance happens inside the comfort zone. Jumping too far out is scary and may not be very productive. Stepping to the edge with full awareness of talents, skills, and experiences and beginning to evaluate opportunities makes sense at this point.

Stay tuned – news at 11:00

As I said, this is a work in progress. I’m going to suggest to her when we next meet that we take a stroll out to the edge of her comfort zone, look over the edge, and do some brainstorming.

  • Maybe we explore the possibility that her perception of this company change is wrong and could, in fact, be a new way for her to continue to gain a new skill, polish her favorable position within the company, gain new favor, increase her income, and avoid having to deal with ageism and a job search. That’s the “suck it up” part.
  •  Maybe we take that talents and skills inventory, polish up her resume and LinkedIn presence and test the job market in positions related to what she does now or that call for the deep skills we know she has – all while she is heads down in her new position with her current employer. That’s a hybrid possibility.
  • Maybe we explore moving her toward a self-sustaining “semi-retirement” or “lifestyle business” while she is employed with an eye toward capitalizing on developed skills, her experience, and her interest in nutrition (her second bachelor’s is in nutrition). Another hybrid.

I’ll try to remember to come back with a report on how this all turns out.

I think of the legions of folks out there who are in similar situations but don’t take action because of fear, laziness, or a pollyannish optimism that it will all work out somehow. The 50s and 60s surface some of the biggest decisions one can make. A turning point with “go to jail, do not pass Go” implications. Or a gateway to the most productive, meaningful, purposeful time of life.

Trust yourself and choose wisely.

 

 

The Best Advice For Someone Who Recently Turned 60. (P.S. The Best Is Yet To Come!)

It feels weird.

I’m only nine months from the twentieth anniversary of my 60th birthday. OMG, how did that happen?

I was recently asked on a forum what advice I would have for someone turning 60. Granted, they say advice is worth what you pay for it and it was a free forum, but since I’ve been there and done the 60-year-old thing many times over I felt reasonably qualified to riff on the topic.

It’s been a 19 1/3-year journey that has earned me a Master’s degree in Screw-Ups and a Ph.D. in Toe Stubbing. Which forces me to invoke (hide behind?) a fundamental success principle:

There are no failures – only research and development.

The experiences and decisions in my late 50s and early 60s played a big role in developing the roadmap for the rest of my life. I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned in hopes that there may be a pearl or two for those at this juncture to help develop a roadmap for their own “third age” or “post-mid-life-transition” phase of life.

The late 50s and early 60s present us with some of the most critical and significant decisions we will make in our lives.

Here are three pieces of advice to those 60 years old or greater that have been part of my two-decade discovery journey:

1. Reject the conventional, decades-old cultural expectations for what lies ahead. By that, I mean viewing this next phase as a time to “wind down and come in for a landing.” At 60, we are typically carrying forward decades of “retirement indoctrination.” We may be part of the growing number who are unprepared financially for traditional retirement and fearful of the subtle condemnation that our culture lays on us if we don’t retire on or before that sacred number 65. Or we may be financially prepared for this anticipated nirvanic experience and convinced we have earned and are entitled to the self-indulgence it allows.

Either attitude has peril embedded in it.

The traditional leisure-based, “vocation-to-vacation” model for this post-mid-life or post-career phase of life still persists, with the help of a powerful but relatively unchanged financial services industry. It’s a model with 85-year-old legs, conceived for political reasons in 1935 and establishing an artificial finish line of 65 when the average American didn’t make it past 62.

Back then, facing 3–5 years of retirement, it made sense for your parents or grandparents to head to the beach or the golf course or Leisure World. Today, with us living 20–40 years longer, the model doesn’t fit. Thirty years of golf or bingo, bridge and boche ball, and the bulging waistline that accompanies it doesn’t make any sense.

My advice for this life juncture is to re-define retirement. Understand that you may be going forward with a mindset that is out of step with the world around you – not to mention your biology – if traditional retirement is the model for the balance of your life.

2. Take some time to reflect, reassess, and resurrect. Have you had questions like these bouncing around in your head? “Why am I here?” “Is this all there is?” “Is it too late to leave a footprint?” Or my favorite: “Is it true that the number of people attending my funeral will largely depend on the weather?”

If so, you are in a healthy spot. This is the perfect time to respond to those healthy questions and carve out some time – alone or with a supportive partner – to reflect on what your life has amounted to. But, with an eye on the positive.

We don’t reach 60 without doing a lot of things right. We got there consciously or unconsciously using some skills that were wired into us at conception.

There is also a chance that some of those natural, inborn skills or talents were “barnacled over” as you dedicated yourself to “provision” rather than “aspiration” and helped build someone else’s dream with your career.

It’s a good time, if you haven’t, to do some basic personality or strengths assessments (DISC, Strengthsfinders, Enneagram, etc.) to uncover or remind you of how you are wired up.

Chances are fairly high that you have been operating outside of your core talents and strengths.  I certainly was, for the better part of 35 years chasing the 20th-century linear life model (Learn-Work-Retire). We all do it in the interests of providing and meeting cultural expectations defined for us by the “big Ps” in our lives – parents, peers, professors, preachers, politicians, and pundits.

I finally had to acknowledge that fact in my mid-sixties after leaving corporate life at 60, starting my own recruiting business, and realizing that my corporate experience – although successful by monetary and title standards – was never aligned with my core “uniqueness”, my “one and no other.”

I ignored the results of multiple assessments that were consistent in suggesting that I was at my best in a learning and teaching mode. My career in sales and marketing wasn’t ideally aligned with that. Yet I forged on, yielding to cultural expectations and rejecting the input of the assessments.

My venture into the recruiting business gradually moved me in the direction of these core talents and strengths to where now I feel that I am achieving the intersection of what I’m best equipped to do, what I’m good at, and a need that exists in the marketplace.

The Japanese called it “ikigai” – a reason for being. Or a reason to get up in the morning. I’m getting closer to “ikigai” day-by-day. But I had to shed some deep-seated cultural influences.

Based on experience and feedback from others, I’ve learned that the process of reflecting, assessing, acknowledging, and resurrecting latent talents and strengths can effectively put one on a path that will turn this extended period of life into the most productive, fulfilling, and purposeful time of your life.

3. Get serious about, and take control of your health. Let’s be honest – you probably haven’t done your body and brain a lot of favors up to this point. I say this with confidence because (1) I’m guilty; (2) the statistics on length of life and the level of extended morbidity and early frailty amongst our general population in this third age bear this out: (3) we let a culture that isn’t friendly to good health dictate our lifestyles.

Plan all you want for this period of extended longevity. It will be meaningless if you don’t feel good.

Dr. Mario Martinez, in his book “The Mindbody Self: How Longevity is Culturally Learned and the Causes of Health Are Inherited” makes an important point when he says:

“We inherit millennia of wisdom on how to achieve optimal health. Rather than mechanical products of our genes, we are the coauthors of their expression. With few exceptions, illnesses are only genetic propensities, not inevitable disruptions waiting their time to unfold.”

In other words, we start life with a birthright of good health. Our bodies are a collection of 35 trillion cells, or thereabouts, that have somehow been kludged together into this amazing 24×7 immune system that works its butt off to keep us healthy. That’s our inheritance.

Through our culturally-influenced lifestyles, we choose to screw that up.

Excuse my brashness, but collectively we are very healthcare illiterate. We don’t know how our bodies work and what they need to carry us through life optimally.

We succumb to a lifetime of seeking comfort and convenience and conformity. We view good health as the absence of sickness and have turned healthcare into a $35 copay experience with your doc when things skid off the tracks, within a healthcare system that only dispenses medical advice, not health advice.

Rather than adopting a lifestyle of “proactive prevention” we turn to a system designed to provide “reactive cure.”

For example, we know that over 60% of early death in our culture is due to an inappropriate diet. Yet, doctors receive no training in nutrition. So we are functioning within a healthcare system that doesn’t care much about what we eat. Or doesn’t seem to because you won’t get nutrition counseling in our “drug it or cut-it-out” system.

Couple that with a profit-driven food industry that doesn’t give a rip about our health, we are fighting challenging countervailing forces to maintain optimal health.

That’s why, regardless of age – and especially at 60 – it’s important to become the CEO of your health, become literate about how your body works at the cellular level, take charge, and change to habits that will support you with good health going forward.

It’s never too late to start. It’s always too early to quit.

The five top killers in our culture – heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, dementia – have not changed in decades. These are all lifestyle diseases and all are preventable.

We have a “whole-life potential” benchmark already established for us. We know that the body is capable of lasting 122 years and 164 days because Jeanne Calment of Paris lived that long – the longest living human on record.

Yet, on average, we fall seriously short of that benchmark, achieving only 66% of it on average.

The gap is lifestyle.

I was heavily influenced, in my 60s, by two books that helped me deepen my commitment to protecting my health, although I have been a strong health advocate and avid exerciser for over four decades.

“Dare to Be 100” by Dr. Walter Bortz, semi-retired Stanford geriatric physician helped me understand why “there is no biological reason that I shouldn’t live to 100 or beyond” and what I can do to enhance my chances of getting there.

The other was “Younger Next Year: Live Strong, Fit and Sexy – Until You’re 80 and Beyond.” This perennial best-seller helped me understand how my body works at the cellular level and what those cells need to support me with good health.

Let me quote Dr. Henry Lodge, co-author:

“The simple fact is that we know perfectly well what to do. Some 70 percent of premature death and aging are lifestyle-related. Heart attacks, strokes, the common cancers, diabetes, most falls, fractures, and serious injuries, and many more illnesses are primarily caused by the way we live. If we had the will to do it, we could eliminate more than half of all disease in men and women over fifty. Not delay it, eliminate it.”

I’ll also leave you with this guideline, also from Dr. Lodge. It’s called “Harry’s Rules” and it is a simple, hard-hitting set of rules that will enable good health and successful aging.

Harry’s Rules

  1. Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life.
  2. Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life.
  3. Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life.
  4. Spend less than you make.
  5. Quit eating crap!
  6. Care.
  7. Connect and commit.

Good luck on your journey. You are about to step into the most exciting, most exhilarating, most impactful, and fulfilling time of life.

If you so choose.

How are your 60s – or your post-60s – going? Let us know what you think about these three suggestions and PLEASE add to them. You can do that with a comment below or an email to gary@makeagingwork.com