As Someone Who Is Over 80, What Advice Would You Give To a Younger Person Who Is Worried About Growing Older?

Image by Harpreet Batish from Pixabay

I post answers every day to questions on Quora.com.  I’m amazed at the number of questions that come from young people, in their 20s and 30s, expressing angst about getting old.

Here’s my answer to a recent one that is the headline for this article.

Simple.

Get over it!

Embrace it!

Remember this:

“Life is a fatal disease. Once contracted there is no known cure.” Dr. Walter Bortz.

You are going to grow old and die.

Mike drop!

You have no control over the eventuality of it.

You have considerable control over how soon it happens and the quality of the time and life leading up to it.

Save the worry time and use it learning and working toward making the trip healthy and fulfilling.

Become a student of how your body and mind work and give them what they need to last the longest possible.

Worry? 

Think this through.

What is worry?

The most egregious misuse of imagination possible.

I just turned 80. I stopped worrying about a number a long time ago.

I may be 80 by the calendar, but still a teenager in my mind.

The joints? Well, that’s another story!

If we didn’t have clocks and calendars, how old would you be?

You could be any age you wanted. But you live in a culture that’s obsessed with numbers. I suggest you get over that obsession early – it serves no purpose.

Maybe this will help. Guess where the lowest point of happiness is for most people?

Age 47!!

The highest?

The 70s, 80s, even 90s.

There you have it.

It starts between the temples.

Worry is a choice.

Set your sails now with a sense of purpose. Stay the course. Enjoy the ride.

Happy 4th!

Happy Independence Day! Thanks for being part of our growing tribe.

How I Know That I Will Live to 112 1/2. No – It’s Not the Broccoli!

Image by 185128 from Pixabay

Such good news.

Isn’t it incredible? So much helpful news proliferating online with newly discovered answers to long-standing mysteries about our bodies and our health?

Like the significance of standing on one foot.

Seriously, who woulda thunk it?

Your ability to stand on one foot may be a predictor of how long you will live.

Whaaa?

In my incessant wandering, I stumbled into an article on Yahoo!News that has renewed my confidence in getting to 112 1/2. (For you new readers, that’s an insane goal I set at age 75 because I wanted to have 1/3 of my life left to do some catching up. I’ll let you do the math.)

Can you stand on one foot? A study suggests this simple task may predict how long you’ll live.

It appears that a group of under-employed Brazilian medical researchers has penetrated a new frontier by discovering that, and I quote: “Unlike aerobic fitness, flexibility and muscle strength, balance tends to be preserved until the sixth decade of life, after which it wanes precipitously,”

Excuse me? Haven’t we known that for, like, decades maybe? When you are busy burning down rainforests, I guess news like this is late to get to Rio.

So what does this have to do with my admitted insane goal of living to 112 1/2?

I’m going to do some serious (fantasy?) extrapolating here. Track with me for a second.

Testing the edges of medical science!

The researchers tested over 1,700 folks with an average age of 61 (range 51-75) of varying weights, BMI, height, and who could all walk steadily. They asked them to stand on one foot for 10 seconds.

One in five failed the test.

10 seconds!!!!!!!

The researchers went on to note that: (bolding emphasis is mine)

“- the inability to pass the test rose with age (Duh!). In general, people who failed the test tended to be in poorer health than those who passed, with a higher proportion being obese, having cardiovascular disease and unhealthy blood cholesterol levels. Type 2 diabetes was three times more common among people who failed the test as those who passed. (Hmmm. Imagine that!)

After accounting for factors such as age, sex, BMI, history of heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and high cholesterol, the researchers found that the risk of death within 10 years was 1.84-fold higher in participants who failed the balance test.”

Perhaps that explains why we rarely see anyone standing on one foot at Carl’s Junior or Pizza Hut.

112 1/2 is within reach –

-based on this newest “science.”

Here’s the way I figure this scientific revelation plays out for me.

When I visit Lifetime Fitness on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, one of the 16-20 exercise routines I do is to stand on one foot.

For several years, I just did it for 60 seconds. But some months ago, I decided to stretch it a bit.

Right now, I’m up to 2 1/2 minutes with no problems, other than ankles that start barking a bit and some curious looks from fellow exercisers.

Based on this earth-shaking Brazilian research, if I’m 61 and can’t stand on one foot for 10 seconds, I have a 2x greater chance of dying in 10 years than if I could. So, since I’m 15X the minimum and I’m 80 (both true), then 112 1/2 is a no-brainer, right?

OK, don’t test me on the math.

Or the theory.

Yeah, I click-baited you a bit with all this.

I have no illusions about the fact that 112 1/2 is a pipe dream – it’s just out there as a stretch goal and as a reminder that 8-10 hours a day in a 90-degree position moving fingers only isn’t good.

Obviously, being able to stand on one foot for, let’s say, 30 or 60 seconds isn’t going to solve obesity or Type 2 diabetes. That’s cart before the horse. I have neither condition, but that’s because of things I do beyond standing on one foot. Assuredly, the fact that I can do it for 150 seconds is a manifestation of a much broader list of physical activities I undertake weekly.

My home office is replete with an adjustable kettlebell, exercise bands, and ample room for planks, stretching, and balance exercises. I use a $6.95 kitchen timer set to 55 minutes to alert me to get off my arse for 5-10 minutes every hour to walk outside or do one or more of the aforementioned. I’m successful with that routine about 50-75% of the time.

James Clear reminds us in his book “Atomic Habits”:

“Goals are good for setting direction, but systems are best for making progress. Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior.”

Goals? Check

Systems? Check

Environment? Check

Discipline? Oops!

I know I can get better – we all can. Maybe even get up to 200 seconds but that won’t accomplish anything other than ego-stroke and bragging rights. The getting better part is to have the commitment to a process and the discipline to stick with it.

The test failure is simply a glaring exposure of the poor state of health amongst aging citizenry, be they Brazilian or American. I suspect a comparable group of Americans would do no better – probably worse.

Try it.

If you can walk steadily and fail this test, time to start a process. Any process to start, so long as it gets you moving, building some muscle mass (especially leg strength), and improving your balance.

You’ll be grateful those Brazilian researchers didn’t have enough things to fill their days.

 

 

 

Are You Flying a “Freak Flag?” If Not, Give It Some Serious Consideration.

If you’re over 60 and aren’t weird, you need to get there.

No, not that type of weird.

Weird in a “modern elder” way.

Chip Conley of Modern Elder Academy blogs daily at wisdomwell@modernelderacademy.com and rocks my brain at least 2 to 3 times per week with something out on the edge.

He did it again recently when he wrote about flying a “freak flag” as a modern elder.

I hope, dear reader, you remember that those of us of advanced numbers should be thinking as “modern elders.”

Here’s a refresher in case the concept is fuzzy:

Be Part of the “Modern Elder” Movement

Chip supports his freak flag notion with this quote from Michael Meade, author of “Fate and Destiny: The Two Agreements of the Soul.” (Bolding is mine.)

“In old traditions, those who acted as elders were considered to have one foot in daily life and the other foot in the otherworld. Elders acted as a bridge between the visible world and the unseen realms of spirit and soul. A person in touch with the otherworld stands out because something normally invisible can be seen through them…Those who would become truly wise must become weird enough to be in touch with timeless things and abnormal enough to follow the guidance of the unseen. Elders are supposed to be weird, not simply ‘weirdos,’ but strange and unusual in meaningful ways…Elders are supposed to be more in touch with the otherworld, but not out of touch with the struggles in this world. Elders have one foot firmly in the ground of survival and another in the realm of great imagination. This double-minded stance serves to help the living community and even helps the species survive.”

So, if you are getting “weirder” as you age, that should explain it. Or, at least we hope it does, and not something else.

Chip calls it playing in cosmic limbo between here and the hereafter, seeing things the rest of the world can’t.

“It take digesting one’s past to see the future better.”

I’m working on it!

I’m not sure I can fill Meade’s tall order yet. I believe my bride, progeny, and some members of the extended family would attest to a certain level of weirdness in yours truly. Not sure it’s exactly in the vein described above, however.

Given Chip’s cosmic limbo comment, I’m thinking my weirdness needs some cranking up.

Two other comments in Chip’s article provide me motivation for that:

  • Change tends to happen on the edges.
  • If you’re not careful, you’ll turn out ordinary.

Those team up nicely with two reminders I have taped at the top of my laptop keyboard that inspire me on productive days and needle me on bad days:

  • “Be obsessed or be average” – Grant Cardone
  • “You’re either remarkable or invisible” – Seth Godin

I’m finding that the degree of average is directly proportional to the degree of obsession.

Are you “obsessed” with what you want the second half of your life to look like? to be? to accomplish?

Or settling for average?

Are you “invisible” and silently carrying a lifetime of meaningful skills, experiences, and stories?

Or are you willing to fly your “freak” flag and share your wisdom?

 

Chip concludes with this encouragement:

“Of course, our challenge is not to be weird for the sake of being weird; it’s about the freedom and power of being wired differently (which makes you that good kind of weird). A valuable elder is a conduit. Like an electrical adapter in a foreign country, the elder knows how to translate and transmute a current (or power source) so that it’s available to the rest of us.

So, let your freak flag fly, modern elder—let your wired wisdom become a hot channel for those attracted to your electrical charge.

We need your weird energy more than ever.”

How ’bout it modern elders?

Let’s get weird together.

Let’s test the edges with the youngers. They’re listening.

Let’s fly a freak flag.

Flying a freak flag already?  What’s it look like? Tell us about it with a comment below.

Does life really get harder as you get older? It gets down to choices. Here are four simple ones.

It’s a question we’ll face at some point on our journey.

It’s really about the choices we make as we age. Life can be harder or easier based on those choices

I recently experienced the 20th anniversary of my 60 birthday. Hard to believe that I’ve gotten this far.

I haven’t had a dramatic life but have had my share of ups and downs. I’m fortunate that I started making better decisions about my self-care before getting to mid-life and believe that has helped me carry good health deep into my third age.

With good health and learning from my ups and downs, I have found life easier as I’ve aged. Not because I have achieved anything out of the ordinary financially but because I’m more aligned with the talents I was gifted with and the skills I’ve acquired.

While it may be a bit harder to get around physically, it’s easier to get around mentally.

For most of us, age brings a modicum of wisdom, and part of that is learning to not waste time, energy, or mental bandwidth on things that are out of our control which, as it turns out, are most of the things that we are tempted to worry about.

With age comes the awareness that there are big holes in the cultural guidelines that we were expected to adhere to as we matured. If we are lucky, as we age we begin to re-evaluate the need to conform and to compare ourselves to others or to materialistic standards.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t get easier for many as they age. Many are trapped in bodies with blue-print errors (rare) or that have been abused through poor health habits in the earlier decades. The average American experiences 12+ years of debilitating chronic illness in their final years, more than any other developed country on the planet.

If one enters mid-life (the 40s or 50s) in poor physical condition, the stage may be set for an unpleasant and challenging second half or third age.

Another key component that makes aging more tolerable is having an active and vibrant social network, especially one that is not made up of only same-aged people. Social isolation is a major contributor to poor health and a shortened lifespan and can become a challenge as we age and friends and family pass on.

Four essential choices.

Making aging easier thus gets down to this:

  • Take charge and protect your health.
  • Keep making friends and stay close to family.
  • Never stop learning and have a purpose, something that you want to accomplish that challenges you both physically and mentally.
  • Don’t give in to the cultural pressure to retire. Full-stop retirement has been shown to undermine the above and ultimately make life harder.

Can you add to the list? Let us know your thoughts with a comment below.

What If We Had Never Invented Retirement? Would Our Culture Be Better Off? Three Suggestions That Say “Yes.”

You do know that retirement is invented and not natural, right?

We appear to be the only species that decides to voluntarily push ourselves toward a state of accelerating physical and mental decline and deterioration.

As opposed to the natural world, where it’s involuntary and usually abrupt – as in dead.

The silver maple in my backyard is showing signs of giving it up, ravaged by 10 years of persistent Colorado drought conditions. Some spring soon I expect the leaves won’t appear and it will be over and leave a gargantuan removal task.

I know the mother red fox that frequently sits underneath it will keep hunting, digging, delivering kits, and surviving until she can’t and something – or someone – takes her out.

Non-existent 150 years ago.

Retirement didn’t exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago.

My maternal grandparents homesteaded on a quarter section of free government land in rural Wyoming around 1905. No water within a half-mile, no wood to build a house, lived in a covered dugout for a year while they dug a well and poured a concrete house.

Homestead house – still standing 100 years later.

No indoor plumbing until 1958, my sophomore year in high school. Reports of two-holers with Montgomery Ward catalogs are not a myth, trust me.

They scratched a subsistence-level existence off this hard-scrabble parcel and worked themselves to death, giving it up in their early sixties after spawning four children, three of which made it past 16.

The idea of retirement didn’t exist in their world. It was work, survival, and family to the end. And family made the final transition loving and comfortable.

They hadn’t heard about Otto von Bismarck’s plan.

Back in 1889, German Chancellor Otto von Bismarck invented the idea of retirement, claiming that: “Those who are disabled from work by age and invalidity have a well-grounded claim to care from the state.” It sounds very altruistic; however, the truth is, he was buying back votes in that cohort that he was beginning to lose to the  Marxist movement.

Humanitarian? Or political? You decide.

Otto gets the blame or the credit for the concept of human retirement, depending on your mindset.

FDR went to school on ‘ol Otto and gave the concept a big boost in 1935 as he teamed up with big businesses and unions (maybe the only time that has happened). Together they carved out a political solution to the problem of unemployed young men rioting in the streets by establishing an arbitrary retirement age of 65 to move older workers out and younger workers in.

Made some sense since few people lived that long (average lifespan at 62). The prospect of getting “have fun, beach or bingo” money for 2-3 years made sense.

So the origin of this thing that still pervades our psyche so deeply 87 years later is both unnatural and politically inspired.

And an incredible bonanza for creative insurance salespeople who have profited mightily by convincing us that a no-work life filled with leisure is the healthiest option for the later stages of life.

Is the fact that our average life expectancy has been receding over the last 5 years and that we experience, on average, 12 years of ill health in the U.S. before we die evidence that a retirement lifestyle may not be the healthiest?

Agreed – those conditions are more likely a throwback to earlier lifestyle decisions, but it’s hard to argue that a full-stop retirement does anything to slow or reverse them.

What if it didn’t exist?

Pretty hard to imagine, isn’t it. At least here in the U.S. – and in many western cultures.

But, there are cultures where retirement doesn’t exist – at least, not in the off-the-cliff, labor-to-leisure form that has characterized most retirements in the U.S. over the last 50 years.  And, surprisingly, these cultures present a counterargument to the western logic that drives our infatuation with a concept claiming that a no-work retirement is a healthy lifestyle option.

You may be familiar with the research done by Dan Buettner of National Geographic that culminated in the book “Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who Lived the Longest.”  Buettner and his crew of demographers identified five locations where people lived the longest and healthiest lives anywhere on the planet.

You can go here to see the nine commonalities that led to longer, happier, healthier lives in these communities.  You’ll notice that retirement isn’t included. In fact, Buettner reports:

“In Okinawa, there isn’t even a word for retirement. Instead there’s simply ‘ikigai,’ which essentially means ‘the reason for which you wake up in the morning.'”

OK, I’m all in on escaping a grinding, meaningless, purposeless, stress-filled job. It makes little sense to continue that for 30-40 years in pursuit of an idea that offers up false promises and is a trojan horse for a deteriorating healthspan.

What if we started over and acknowledged that putting an arbitrary use-by time stamp on people for the third-third of their life promotes a terrible waste of talent, knowledge, and wisdom (a.k.a crystallized intelligence – see this article).

You’re Over 50. Heads Up – Your Intelligence Is Crystallizing. (if your lucky!)

Here are three things that I think might happen if we stopped sending that talent, knowledge, and wisdom to the La-Z-Boy, park bench, or CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community).

1. We could redeploy that talent and wisdom to solve more of the mounting world’s problems. As author Neil Pasricha states: “There are far more problems and opportunities on this spinning planet than there are people to help with them so if you feel lost, follow your heart, find your ikigai, and remember the 4 S’s.

Social: Friends, peers, and coworkers who brighten our days and fulfill our social needs.

Structure: The alarm clock ringing because you have a reason to get up in the morning (ikigai), and the resulting satisfaction you get from earned time off.

Stimulation: Keeping our minds challenged by learning something new each day.

Story: Being part of something bigger than ourselves by joining a group whose high-level purpose is something you couldn’t accomplish on your own.
And stop worrying that you won’t ever be able to retire. You’ll be far better off if you don’t.

2. Reduce the burden on our out-of-control healthcare system.  People age 55 and over accounted for 56% of total health spending in 2019, despite making up only 30% of the population. Active engagement, continuing to create, and reversing the role from sedentary self-indulgent retirees to active selfless contributors will mean a healthier, more vibrant elderly population with less extended morbidity and early frailty.

3. Return to generativity. We would reduce stagnation and inject more generativity which is “the propensity and willingness to engage in acts that promote the wellbeing of younger generations as a way of ensuring the long-term survival of the species.” Full-stop retirement steers us away from the level of generativity that volunteering, mentoring, engaging in community activism, and fostering other people’s growth can bring. Dr. Ken Dychtwald in his book “What Retirees Want” points out that individual Americans 65+ have  7.4 hours of leisure time per day equalling 195 billion hours of leisure a year or about 3.9 trillion hours over the next 20 years. He also points out that, despite that, older Americans spend under 4% of their discretionary time as volunteers, perhaps giving in to the lure of comfort, leisure, and reduced engagement.

I suspect this may not be a very popular position. Please share your thoughts.  If you have any ideas on what we could do, or what would happen if we pivoted our perspectives on how to live out our third age, please share them with a comment below or an email to gary@makeagingwork.com.

Want To Max Out Your Longevity and Do It In Good Health? Good Luck – You’re On Your Own!

 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Let me whip this dead horse again.

Our healthcare system isn’t.

It’s a disease-care system. And there’s little chance it will ever do much more than dispense medical advice and fix the downstream problems without bothering to look upstream.

Or, as I’ve said before, it’s a system well trained in mopping up the water but untrained, and uninterested, in turning off the spigot.

If you learn how to turn off the spigot, then you don’t show up ’cause you don’t need fixing. The whole system falters and takes the pharmaceutical industry with it.

I hear what you’re thinking – TV without drug commercials? If only!!

But, I’m 55 and I want to make it to 100!!

Doable.

But, you’re on your own!

The knowledge is out there for those of advancing numbers to live better and longer. Just don’t go looking for it in our hallowed health/disease-care system.

Let me show you how bad it is.

I’m turning again to Dr. Ken Dychtwald of the Age Wave organization for help. Here’s what he revealed about our so-called medical excellence in the U.S.A. in a presentation last month. (See the full presentation here). 

  • 126 medical schools in the U.S. – only 16 with full departments of geriatric medicine. 
  • 85% of graduating physicians will have graduated without taking one course in geriatric medicine.
  • In the U.S. – 55,509 pediatricians; 4,278 geriatricians.
  • Lowest paid physicians: geriatricians. Highest paid: cosmetic surgery.
  • Medicare: not user-friendly, incomprehensible.
  • Federal spending per person per day:
    • Defense: $5.75
    • Medicare: $5.27
    • Medical research: $0.29

Another qualified source, Dr. Robert Lustig, a retired pediatric endocrinologist and author of “Metabolical” points out that the average physician receives 7.9 hours of nutrition training across four years of medical school. 

Has your primary care physician ever informed you that the number one cause of early death in the U.S. is – wait for it – DIET!! He/she knows it – but is not paid to tell it.

So, let’s call it what it is – a serious disconnect – and move on.

Move on to what?

To being the CEO of your health.

Sound daunting? Time-consuming? Not so much, relative to the value.

The idea of 35 trillion cells somehow working together to keep each of us vertical sounds pretty complex – and it is. Beyond comprehension actually.

But the care and feeding of that miracle aren’t all that complicated so being the CEO of your 24 x 7 x 365 immune system doesn’t require heroics.

But it does demand a mission, a discipline, and a process.

But, wait, isn’t that behind any success?

A Starter Kit

Here’s a starter kit to get you on your road to CEO.

Reading (in this order): (NOTE: these are paid links. If you buy the book through the link, I earn a small commission – about enough for half a cup of Starbucks lousy coffee).

On-Line

  • The Longevity Advantage (interviews with, and articles leading names in research on longevity – developed and managed by my friend Scott Fulton)
  • AgeWave – Dr. Ken Dychtwalds’s site offers research, articles, and videos on aging and health and wellness.

I’m reminded of a statement by neuropsychologist Dr. Mario Martinez. In his book “The Mindbody Self: How Longevity is Culturally Learned and the Causes of Health Are Inherited” makes an important point when he says:

“We inherit millennia of wisdom on how to achieve optimal health. Rather than mechanical products of our genes, we are the coauthors of their expression. With few exceptions, illnesses are only genetic propensities, not inevitable disruptions waiting their time to unfold.”

In other words, we start life with a birthright of good health with those 35 trillion cells somehow kludged together into this amazing 24×7 immune system that works its butt off to keep us healthy. That’s our inheritance.

Through our culturally-influenced lifestyles, we choose to screw that up. Through our ignorance and inaction, we actually teach ourselves how to be sick.

Except, that is, for those who have donned the CEO hat.

Let your thoughts be known with a comment below. We value your input.

More people now want to live to 100 or beyond. What’s up with that? Three thoughts from a future centenarian.

Nausea was a common reaction.

Derisive laughter and/or a cocked eyebrow were givens every time.

That’s what happened when I began to trumpet 5+ years ago, as I approached 75, that I was planning to live to 112 1/2.

Even my explanation for the unusual number didn’t allay the negative reactions to the prospect of living that long.

I set the target at 112 1/2 because I felt I would need another third of my life to get some things done that didn’t happen in the first two-thirds, which, by the way, were substantial.

Nearly everybody I shared my nutty goal with was repulsed by the idea.

I found it to be an effective tool to drive a stake into a lagging dinner conversation with my age cohort – conversations that more times than not evolve into “organ recitals” enumerating myriad aches, pains, surgeries, pending surgeries, and who is the latest to have developed Alzheimer’s.

My announcement wasn’t, and isn’t, an attempt at any form of sensationalism or “hey, look at me.” I set the target with the acquired awareness that there is no biological reason that anyone shouldn’t live to 100 or beyond.

Why not me?

After all, Madame Jean Calment of Arles, France set the benchmark for us and reinforced the possibility by living to 122 years and 164 days. Just because we can’t seem to get past 65% of that full-life potential, on average, doesn’t mean 100 or beyond isn’t a reasonable goal.

I wasn’t surprised then when a 2009 Pew Research Study revealed that only 8% of Americans expressed a desire to live to 100. A decade later, Dr. Ken Dychtwald reported in his book “What Retirees Want: A Holistic View of Life’s Third Age”  that only 22% of Americans say yes to the idea, with the number dropping to only 17% for those over 65.

But what did surprise me was when a short time later, another Dychtwald report – which  I referenced last week – points out something different entirely.

That report determined that, on average, 61% of retirees said they want to live to 100.

Why the reversal?

Is this faulty research and reporting or have attitudes toward aging shifted suddenly.

Let’s cut some slack for Pew Research and Dychtwald’s AgeWave organization. They’ve been doing extensive research in this field for decades.

So, what’s behind a shift in attitude away from nausea to welcoming.

I welcome your thoughts on what may be behind this. As you collect them, let me offer up three that come to my mind:

  1. The pandemic and its aftermath have turned on some lights. A sudden face-to-face encounter with the fragility and uncertainty of our mortality has cast a different light on the fleeting nature of time and the importance of finding a higher purpose and deepening relationships as we age. Maybe the helter-skelter scrambling lifestyle hell-bent on accumulation and built on shallow relationships and stressful, health-sapping work stress isn’t resonating so well. Maybe we are seeing some abandonment of all that in favor of wanting to make more out of what remains.
  2. The Betty White syndrome. Poor Betty tripped and fell right at the finish line, but weren’t we all rooting for her to make it? She and the growing number of healthy centenarians being publicized have begun to change attitudes toward hitting 100, demonstrating that getting to 100 doesn’t have to be about dementia, drool, and Depends or wheelchairs and walkers.
  3. Wisdom is taking hold. Perhaps we’re beginning to subscribe to the notion that it’s never too late to start and always too early to quit. Even though we may have screwed up our front nine with marginal lifestyle habits, we’re committing to a back nine/second half built on healthy, life-extending habits with the awareness that the body has amazing recuperative powers and is inclined to pay back in kind when provided with what it needs to function optimally.

A caution.

Don’t forsake today.

Even though I put 112 1/2 out in front of me, I’m increasingly aware of the essential nature of carpe diem and the dangers of living outside of today, be it in the past or the future.

Today is all we have.

Share your thoughts on this, please. Leave a comment below or email me at gary@makeagingwork.com. If you haven’t, join our email list and receive articles like this each week at www.makeagingwork.com. There’s an archive of over 200 articles there for your browsing pleasure.

Retirement: Blessing or a curse? The jury has returned. But it’s still hung.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Imagine it’s your first-time meeting with a certified financial planner, a financial services veteran with a string of acronyms after his/her name.

Imagine the conversation going like this:

“Welcome, so glad to meet you. I’ve been looking forward to having this conversation with you. It’s a great day for me when I can help another couple hop on the trail of false expectations and backward logic. So, let’s talk about your retirement goals.”

OK, that conversation won’t happen. He/she didn’t get that plush office and wall full of certification plaques by telling the whole story.

But, maybe it should happen because that type of conversation would come closer to reality than most of the conversations that go on in those financial planner offices.

Retirement Kool-Aid

We’ve been buying into retirement as a blessing ever since clever insurance salespeople determined that the idea of escaping from work into a world of freedom and relaxation with a healthy allowance for fun is a pretty easy sell. Especially when you can package it up with the government’s authorization of instruments like IRAs and 401ks as pensions fade away.

So, we’ve been drinking the full-stop retirement Kool-Aid for about five decades – to the point that the concept has become a pseudo-entitlement that is virtually unassailable.

I’ve shortened and put the dagger into the heart of more than one lagging dinner conversation amongst my age cohort by suggesting that retirement is an unnatural and illogical act with many hidden downsides.

They will agree, however, that their financial planner (if they have been smart enough to have one) has not revealed some of the hidden downsides of full-stop retirement, such as:

  • 5-16% increase in difficulties associated with mobility and daily activities.
  • 5-6% increase in illness conditions.
  • 6-9% decline in mental health.

Or, that:

  • 20% of Americans 65 and older suffer from moderate to high levels of depression.
  • Men over 65 take their own lives at double the overall suicide rates and men age 75 and older have the highest suicide rate of any age group.

Nor will they share the backward logic of the full-stop retirement concept:

  • Retirement didn’t exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago, doesn’t occur in nature, doesn’t exist in cultures with the highest average lifespans, and is built around a concept that, by definition, means to “go backward.”
  • A lifestyle built on leisure leads to decay and goes against our basic biology/physiology.
  • Work has been determined to be a key component of healthy longevity.

Despite all this, a surprising percentage of boomers and early GenXers continue to buy the 20th- century linear-life model of 20 years of learn, 40 years of earn, and 20 years of retire/relax.

An important missing part in these conversations is that it is very difficult to save enough in those 40 years to support 20 years of doing nothing, not to mention that the stress and bad lifestyle habits that occur during that “bust the hump” period don’t bode well for that final 20 being a healthy period.

The average retirement savings by age, according to 2019-2020 Federal Reserve SCF data isn’t very pretty:

  • 18-24: $4,745.25
  • 25-29: $9,408.51
  • 30-34: $21,731.92
  • 35-39: $48,710.27
  • 40-44: $101,899.22
  • 45-49: $148,950.14
  • 50-54: $146,068.38
  • 55-59: $223,493.56
  • 60-64: $221,451.67
  • 65-69: $206,819.35

Fewer people are going to get to the numbers the financial planner’s charts and graphs say is necessary to sustain a healthy retirement.

And, speaking of health – – –

It’s an unfortunate fact that, in the U.S., the average time spent in ill health for our elderly is the highest for all developed countries at 12.5 years, a really big chunk of that coveted 20. Do you suppose part of that comes from the stress of trying to meet false expectations?

The retirement planning disconnect

Dr. Ken Dychtwald and his Age Wave organization teamed in 2019 to explore people’s hopes, dreams, and concerns in retirement. Together with The Harris Poll, they conducted a groundbreaking study of more than 9,000 people across North America to understand more deeply what it means to live well in retirement.

The report, entitled “Longevity and the New Journey of Retirement” is a very comprehensive report that is a worthy read.

There are numerous takeaways from the report. I want to emphasize one in particular: the attitude toward preparedness for retirement and the lack therein.

The chart from the report pretty well says it all:

Financial planners are not equipped or interested in addressing three of these four gaps.

Blessing or a curse?

So the jury that is this report tells us that retirement is a curse for over 30% of retirees and a near-curse for another 20%.

We can do better with this third-third of our lives by recognizing the four pillars above and planning ahead for them.

“Suicide By Lifestyle.” Can We Get Any Better At This Art Form in America? Yes- Here Are Five Suggestions.

Image: Flotsam/Shutterstock.com

Suicide by lifestyle.

Now there’s a term that seems appropriate for today’s America considering our lifespan is receding and our healthspan tends to be pretty stinky relative to its potential.

I couldn’t ignore the phrase when I came across it in a new book I’ve just started – “The Body: A Guide for Occupants” by Bill Bryson. (Paid link).

I wish I had coined it. But, alas I’m left with having to steal it.

You’ve probably heard of  Bryson. He’s been around a while and is renowned for the extent of the research behind his writing and his incredibly creative style and ability to make huge complex topics easy and fun to read.

 

It takes a while –

If you’ve been following my diatribes for a while, you will understand why the phrase got my attention. Here’s how Bryson used it:

“And how do we celebrate the glory of our existence? Well, for most of us by eating maximally and exercising minimally. Think of all the junk you throw down your throat and how much of your life is spent sprawled in a near-vegetable state in front of a glowing screen. Yet in some kind and miraculous way our bodies look after us, extract nutrients from the miscellaneous foodstuffs we push into our faces, and somehow hold us together, generally at a pretty high level, for decades. Suicide by lifestyle takes ages. Even when you do nearly everything wrong, your body maintains and preserves you.”

If he’s anything, Bryson is a realist.  He reminds us that 5 of 6 cigarette smokers won’t get lung cancer. Most prime heart attack candidates don’t have heart attacks. Every day, between one and five of our cells go rogue and become cancerous only to be captured and killed by our immune system. He states: “Cancer may be a common cause of death but it is not a common event in life.”

-but we’re getting better at shortening it!

Hey, we’re Americans and not inclined to settle for the status quo. So we are getting better and better each year at accelerating the suicide.

But, we could do even better.

Here are five simple tricks to supercharge this strange mission:

  1. Make sure that each meal comes encased in cardboard, plastic, or styrofoam, comes through the side window of your car, and has no fewer than five unpronounceable ingredients.
  2. Subscribe to Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV, Peacock, YouTube TV, Hulu, HBO Max, ESPN Plus, Starz, and do each one proud with your viewing time. (P.S. If you are over 65 and retired, the bar you need to clear is already set high – 49 hours a week on average. Be patient – it will take some effort but you can get there! A voice-activated remote is essential for this to happen.)
  3. Cancel your library card, give away any unread books, swim in the Fox News/CNN/MSNBC (cess)pool, and go all-in on #2.  Oh, sorry, did I forget to mention adding Facebook to this mix? Good to start your day there.
  4. Avoid athletic clubs, never take stairs, and continue to drive the 2 blocks to the mail kiosk. Sell the rusting upright bike/treadmill/Total Gym/weight bench in the basement and reinvest in (a) wider-screen TV; (b) yard maintenance service; (c) any of those in #2 that you’ve overlooked.
  5. Go underground. Avoid any heavy human interaction. Keep your circle of acquaintances small and closely aligned with your ideology and theology. Avoid thoughts outside either of those bubbles.

I don’t profess to have a corner on ideas in this area. If you have some other “accelerator” ideas, drop me a note. I’ll make sure you are properly accredited.